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Should she stay or go

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nyjohn11

Junior Member
New York,

A friend left her husband. She took her child as well and moved in with her only relative in the US. Meaning she left NY. In order to file where she is There is a 6 month residency requirement. It is believed her Ex is in the process of starting some family court procedure in NY. It is not likely he will find her in order to serve her. That in mind I have 3 questions.

If she remains where she is and meets the 6 month residency requirement, then starts preceedings against him in her New State, will that be voided by the fact that he has started procedures in NY. Or will she be able to proceed where she currently resides...

Secondly, since it is believed he is starting some type of procedure against her. More than likely involving custody of the child. There will be requirement of Legal papers being served on her. It is not likely he will find her and may forge the registered or certified mail to show service. So, should he forge the receipts and She can prove there is no way he could have served her can any previous court decisions be reversed....

Third, should she opt to come back and play along in NY and file for divorce, can the court force her to live in NY even though there is no chance she can afford to live here...Thanks in advance
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
nyjohn11 said:
New York,

A friend left her husband. She took her child as well and moved in with her only relative in the US. Meaning she left NY. In order to file where she is There is a 6 month residency requirement. It is believed her Ex is in the process of starting some family court procedure in NY. It is not likely he will find her in order to serve her. That in mind I have 3 questions.

If she remains where she is and meets the 6 month residency requirement, then starts preceedings against him in her New State, will that be voided by the fact that he has started procedures in NY. Or will she be able to proceed where she currently resides...
If he starts a case in NY, whether or not he manages to serve her, its possible that NY would retain jurisdiction. Its also possible that her new state would take jurisdiction.

nyjohn11 said:
Secondly, since it is believed he is starting some type of procedure against her. More than likely involving custody of the child. There will be requirement of Legal papers being served on her. It is not likely he will find her and may forge the registered or certified mail to show service. So, should he forge the receipts and She can prove there is no way he could have served her can any previous court decisions be reversed....
Yes, it would be possible to get a default judgement reversed it she can prove that his proof of service is fraudulent. It would be difficult though to forge something like that.

nyjohn11 said:
Third, should she opt to come back and play along in NY and file for divorce, can the court force her to live in NY even though there is no chance she can afford to live here...Thanks in advance
Yes, the court CAN require her to remain in NY in order to keep custody of her child.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The court can order service by publication if your friend can't be located for in-person service. Once her husband files in NY, that's where jurisdiction will stay - FL is unlikely to override NY's petition. And yes, she can be ordered to return to NY with the child - and stay there if she wants to maintain custody.

Pretty much the same answer as the last time.
 

nyjohn11

Junior Member
Follow up

New York,

I have another question and I truly appreciate all the replies and answers! I apologize if some questions are asked again. This is a new one...

As stated before my friend is in hiding. As of now we expect her husband is going into Family Court Beginning of Novemeber. There is no chance he can get personal service of any papers at this time. As stated in a response to me the Judge can grant him custody and direct him to use means necessary to find her and the child, Heres the addendum to my questions. Should the Judge do that and her husband cannot find her in a timely manner and he opts to leave the US and return to his Home overseas either on a permanent or temporary basis is it possible should she appear in court while he is out of the country that The Court would remove the child from her. Or more likely she can proceed with divorce proceedings against him? Im sorry if these questions seem outrageous. This is truly a sad situation! Like a scene from sleeping with the enemy!
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
nyjohn11 said:
New York,

I have another question and I truly appreciate all the replies and answers! I apologize if some questions are asked again. This is a new one...

As stated before my friend is in hiding. As of now we expect her husband is going into Family Court Beginning of Novemeber. There is no chance he can get personal service of any papers at this time. As stated in a response to me the Judge can grant him custody and direct him to use means necessary to find her and the child, Heres the addendum to my questions. Should the Judge do that and her husband cannot find her in a timely manner and he opts to leave the US and return to his Home overseas either on a permanent or temporary basis is it possible should she appear in court while he is out of the country that The Court would remove the child from her. Or more likely she can proceed with divorce proceedings against him? Im sorry if these questions seem outrageous. This is truly a sad situation! Like a scene from sleeping with the enemy!
Unless you want your "FRIEND" to lose custody or worse, end up in prison, get her ass back to New York. It matters not that the father goes to Florida, Maine or the moon, the judgement of the court remains in New York and does not change.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Oh, and by the way, here's some reading for you.

Rowland v. Rowland, No. FA97 0057152S (Conn. Super. Ct., Milford, Aug. 19, 1999), 1999 WL 669794. “The language of the federal Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act of 1980 (PKPA), 28 U.S.C. § 1738A must now be examined. That act requires the states to give full faith and credit to the custody decisions of other states that are consistent with federal law. The requirement, of course, is mandatory because of the Supremacy Clause of the federal constitution.”

Home State: “means the State in which a child lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the commencement of a child-custody proceeding. In the case of a child less than six months of age, the term means the State in which the child lived from birth with any of the persons mentioned. A period of temporary absence of any of the mentioned persons is part of the period;" Conn. Gen. Stat. § 46b-115a(7) (2003).

Now go read the above case and the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act .

Then tell her to quit playing games.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
nyjohn11 said:
New York,

I have another question and I truly appreciate all the replies and answers! I apologize if some questions are asked again. This is a new one...

As stated before my friend is in hiding. As of now we expect her husband is going into Family Court Beginning of Novemeber. There is no chance he can get personal service of any papers at this time. As stated in a response to me the Judge can grant him custody and direct him to use means necessary to find her and the child, Heres the addendum to my questions. Should the Judge do that and her husband cannot find her in a timely manner and he opts to leave the US and return to his Home overseas either on a permanent or temporary basis is it possible should she appear in court while he is out of the country that The Court would remove the child from her. Or more likely she can proceed with divorce proceedings against him? Im sorry if these questions seem outrageous. This is truly a sad situation! Like a scene from sleeping with the enemy!
Ok...from what I am gathering your friend has some legitimate fear of her husband....AND he is from another country, which probably is a contributing factor to her fears.

Right now, despite what Belize said, she has done nothing illegal. However, if the NY courts make any orders (and I am not sure that I agree that they will, since the child is not physically in his care and he can't serve her) and she doesn't honor those orders, then yes, there could be a SERIOUS problem.

There are mothers out there who have lost custody of their children for just that reason.

What is her husband's immigration status?
 

nyjohn11

Junior Member
Games?

BelizeBreeze. First off I dont think anyone in my "FRIENDS" situation is playing Games. None of us want to be abused by another Human being. When the Police were called they downplayed the incident and only removed him from the house for the night. Typical of Police lack of concern or interest for victims! Thats an issue for another day. To imply shes "playing games" is idiotic, are you an abused spouse?

She understands the consequences of her actions. What she is trying to work out is if its in her interest to stay in hiding for as long as possible in the hopes he will give up or if she should fight upfront and be ordered to live where she cannot afford to. She also knows his only interest in going to family Court is to try to excersise more control over her and try to force her back home. He has repeatedly stated that he could care less about the child to Her (the victim) and mutual friends and refused to even support them.

He is a US Citizen as well as a Citizen of a Country in Europe. This is a mess!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
nyjohn11 said:
BelizeBreeze. First off I dont think anyone in my "FRIENDS" situation is playing Games. None of us want to be abused by another Human being. When the Police were called they downplayed the incident and only removed him from the house for the night. Typical of Police lack of concern or interest for victims! Thats an issue for another day. To imply shes "playing games" is idiotic, are you an abused spouse?

She understands the consequences of her actions. What she is trying to work out is if its in her interest to stay in hiding for as long as possible in the hopes he will give up or if she should fight upfront and be ordered to live where she cannot afford to. She also knows his only interest in going to family Court is to try to excersise more control over her and try to force her back home. He has repeatedly stated that he could care less about the child to Her (the victim) and mutual friends and refused to even support them.

He is a US Citizen as well as a Citizen of a Country in Europe. This is a mess!
I doubt if anyone can tell you with any certainty which is the best way for her to proceed. Someone probably needs to ask an NY attorney (and maybe more than one) whether or not a judge will make custody orders regarding a child that is not physically present in NY, not in the physical care of the person petioning, and where the parent with the child in their physical care cannot be served.

In my state a judge wouldn't do it unless the child was already in the physical care of the person petitioning for custody. However that doesn't mean that a judge in NY wouldn't do it.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
It is entirely likely that a judge WOULD rule that the kid goe4s back to NY since Mom has taken the kid out of state and not yet established residency. As long as Dad files before she does so - NY WILL hold jurisdiction. And yes - we've been saying all along that she needs a lawyer in NY.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
It is entirely likely that a judge WOULD rule that the kid goe4s back to NY since Mom has taken the kid out of state and not yet established residency. As long as Dad files before she does so - NY WILL hold jurisdiction. And yes - we've been saying all along that she needs a lawyer in NY.
The main question though IMO, is whether that still would happen if she cannot be served. In my state a judge would allow a divorce to be done via publication and even custody orders via publication if the children were with the petitioning parent, but wouldn't include any custody orders in the divorce if the children were not, and if the parent with the children could not be served.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
nyjohn11 said:
She understands the consequences of her actions. What she is trying to work out is if its in her interest to stay in hiding for as long as possible in the hopes he will give up or if she should fight upfront and be ordered to live where she cannot afford to. She also knows his only interest in going to family Court is to try to excersise more control over her and try to force her back home. He has repeatedly stated that he could care less about the child to Her (the victim) and mutual friends and refused to even support them.

He is a US Citizen as well as a Citizen of a Country in Europe. This is a mess!
I am so frikkin tired of excuses for committing a crime I'm about to puke. How many other excuses are you going to make for her. The plain fact is, she stole the kid, fled the state of jurisdiction and now anything she tries to do, REGARDLESS of the reason, is wasted.

Pull your head out of your ass man. Sure, go tell her to establish residency in Florida or any damn state she wishes. Tell her to THEN file for divorce. And you know what will happen the minute she does? Her ass will be in jail. And the child will be with his father. And then what?

The moment she left the state with THEIR son she gave up any right to piss and moan about 'abuse'. As for service, guess what? Fleeing the jurisdiction is not grounds to halt the legal process. It can and WILL go on without her. THEN, on publication, and the second the husband gets a custody order with his divorce, she is a fugitive from the FEDERAL authorities.

Great friend you are. I bet you dollars to donuts you're boinking her and don't want to give it up because it's all you've ever had or ever could get and SHE and the kid will be paying the price.

You're an idiot.
 

nyjohn11

Junior Member
And also,

I believe you are what is called on internet boards, and internet troll so once again BelizeBreeze
Senior Member Fuk u
 

nyjohn11

Junior Member
Strange thing is

She has consulted with a couple of attorneys here in NY. Interestingly they both state off the record that for now she is best off in hiding! They have boith stated since serxce would require a miracle that there is nothing that would be done on his first court appearance that they couldnt get reversed!

This is as of today,,,,

Mr BelizeBreeze
Senior Member Did your wife abscond with your children, is that why you exude such bitterness and claim to be so versed on child custody....
 
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