Which state should we file in?

Brookenstein · Oct 22, 2004

What is the name of your state? CA

We have lived in CA 2 years, but are from OR. The children (almost 5yrs and 6 mo) and I will return to OR as soon as we figure out how to separate/divorce and get all the loose ends tied up. The divorce is Dad's idea, but we are amicable and friends.

I just spoke with the Family Law Assistance Center hoping they could help answer some of my questions. They were:
1. Do we have to go to court?
2. If so, how soon does that happen?
3. If no, can a judge change the settlement and/or custody agreement and then are we stuck with it?
4. When would custody be established and I could leave the state with the children?

She didn't really answer any of these questions, she just said that I should move to OR now, establish residency requirements and then file up there. I was kind of caught off guard by her response and didn't know what to say. I did ask if we needed to go to court for custudy first and she said if we were amicable and Dad was okay with it to just do it. She said it made the most sense to do it in the state the children will live in, so we don't have to fly to CA everytime we need to change things.

Does she have a good point or is she off her rocker? I suspect a little of both, but I don't know the law. I'm hesitant to leave the state with the children without a court order saying it's ok. I know things are amicable now, but c/wouldn't that look like I abandoned the family and took off with the kids? Also, if I stayed in CA until the judge said it was ok to leave, would there really be any need to go back to court? Once residency is established in OR can custody changes be made in OR or will CA always have jurisdiction? If CA has jurisdiction would I be required/needed in court each time?

I guess I'm just trying to figure out long term what makes the most sense. Thanks for the help!

LdiJ · Oct 22, 2004

Brookenstein said:
What is the name of your state? CA

We have lived in CA 2 years, but are from OR. The children (almost 5yrs and 6 mo) and I will return to OR as soon as we figure out how to separate/divorce and get all the loose ends tied up. The divorce is Dad's idea, but we are amicable and friends.

I just spoke with the Family Law Assistance Center hoping they could help answer some of my questions. They were:
1. Do we have to go to court?
2. If so, how soon does that happen?
3. If no, can a judge change the settlement and/or custody agreement and then are we stuck with it?
4. When would custody be established and I could leave the state with the children?

She didn't really answer any of these questions, she just said that I should move to OR now, establish residency requirements and then file up there. I was kind of caught off guard by her response and didn't know what to say. I did ask if we needed to go to court for custudy first and she said if we were amicable and Dad was okay with it to just do it. She said it made the most sense to do it in the state the children will live in, so we don't have to fly to CA everytime we need to change things.

Does she have a good point or is she off her rocker? I suspect a little of both, but I don't know the law. I'm hesitant to leave the state with the children without a court order saying it's ok. I know things are amicable now, but c/wouldn't that look like I abandoned the family and took off with the kids? Also, if I stayed in CA until the judge said it was ok to leave, would there really be any need to go back to court? Once residency is established in OR can custody changes be made in OR or will CA always have jurisdiction? If CA has jurisdiction would I be required/needed in court each time?

I guess I'm just trying to figure out long term what makes the most sense. Thanks for the help!

If you get it in writing from your husband that the move has his approval, then there would be no risk in following her advice. It also would make more sense to have the case be done in OR since that is where the children will be living. CA likes to hold on to jurisdiction as long as one of the parties lives there....and yes, normally you would be required to be in court if there are any proceedings.

Brookenstein · Oct 22, 2004

I'm getting kind of confused when I look at OR law.

Packet 1B is for cases with children...

Caution — These packets may not work well for cases that involve:

children who have not been living in Oregon for the last six months,
the division of pensions,
complicated tax issues,
real estate located outside of Oregon or owned along with someone other than your spouse,
bankruptcy issues, or
if there is a pending personal injury case involving you or your spouse.

May not work well, what does that mean? Can we not do it? The children will have residency, so the only issue would be the house. Can we get an assumption on the house before the divorce and then it wouldn't be an issue?

Also, I read they have co-petioning in OR. Would we be able to do that with Dad not being a resident?

Does anyone know if OR or CA is easier to get a divorce in?

Also, I've noticed when I've done cs calculators... in OR I would get $1065/mo and in CA I'd get $1600. Boy thats a huge difference. Since he agrees to pay the $1600, could he over-write what OR says? Would he later be able to change his mind and only pay what OR requires even if he still resides in CA?

LdiJ · Oct 22, 2004

Brookenstein said:
I'm getting kind of confused when I look at OR law.

Packet 1B is for cases with children...

Caution — These packets may not work well for cases that involve:

children who have not been living in Oregon for the last six months,
the division of pensions,
complicated tax issues,
real estate located outside of Oregon or owned along with someone other than your spouse,
bankruptcy issues, or
if there is a pending personal injury case involving you or your spouse.

May not work well, what does that mean? Can we not do it? The children will have residency, so the only issue would be the house. Can we get an assumption on the house before the divorce and then it wouldn't be an issue?

What that means is that they are cautioning you that a "do-it-yourself" kit isn't necessarily the right way to go if any of those issues exist. They are basically saying that maybe you need an attorney.

Brookenstein said:
Also, I read they have co-petioning in OR. Would we be able to do that with Dad not being a resident?

Yes, you should still be able to do that.

Brookenstein said:
Does anyone know if OR or CA is easier to get a divorce in?

I honestly don't know...but CA has always seemed extra complicated to me...lol

Brookenstein said:
Also, I've noticed when I've done cs calculators... in OR I would get $1065/mo and in CA I'd get $1600. Boy thats a huge difference. Since he agrees to pay the $1600, could he over-write what OR says? Would he later be able to change his mind and only pay what OR requires even if he still resides in CA?

Child support orders can never be considered "permanent". Yes, you can agree that he will pay whatever amount you agree upon. However that doesn't mean that it can't or won't end up getting changed later on down the road. Therefore you can't count on child support at CA rates, permanently....whether you file in CA or not.

Which state should we file in?

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Brookenstein

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LdiJ

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Brookenstein

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LdiJ

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