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Army member contacting minor

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nichmom

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?TX

Is there anything I can do to stop an 18 year old, soon to be 19 from contacting my 15 year old daughter? They dated while he was still in high school before he turned 18. Now, when I say dated he was allowed to see her at my house only because she is not allowed to date yet. I never approved of the two of them dating because of their age difference and figured it wouldn't last that long as most teenage crushes do not. My story is probably too long and I'm sure no one really wants to read about it but they did break up at the end of the school year. I recently find out that they have been communicating my email and by phone calls. I do not want a relationship to begin again because this "MAN" is extremely taken with my daughter to the point I would almost call it an obsession, not love! Since they have only had contact via email and phone calls, is there anything I can do? I must also mention that he will be here next month on leave for two weeks and I am afraid of what may happen. Please help!
 


VR_Hunter

Member
If you turn him in he won't be able to see your daughter...legally. Both civil law and the UCMJ cover statutory issues. She is under your control and is under age. You can file charges or contact his first sergeant or commander. It is taken very seriously in the military. Don't be affraid to threaten him with command contact.
 

nichmom

Junior Member
VR_Hunter please respond

I appreciate the advice that you gave me previously and I wanted to see if you could answer another question for me. This Army "man" is down on leave and I caught him dropping my daughter back off at school after he had picked her up and taken her somewhere during lunch. If I contact the army, what will happen to him?
 
S

slaveofthegov

Guest
If you contact his commander, he could get into serious trouble. The UCMJ prohibits sexual relations with anybody who is underage. However, unless he is caught with her, he will probably get off with a warning. I suggest that you contact him - via your daughter's email - and inform him that you will contact his command if he does not stop.

Check out this site for info on UCMJ Article 134.

http://usmilitary.about.com/library/milinfo/mcm/bl134-27.htm

When you talk to him, make sure that you express the fact that under this article he cannot see your daughter.

good luck
 

TLWE

Member
Does your daughter's school have an open campus for lunch? JMHO, but I would also be down at the school advising them that your daughter does not have your permission to leave campus with him. I would also let them know that he is an adult wandering around picking up underage girls...that will put them on the look out for him.
 

nichmom

Junior Member
My daughter's school does not have have an open campus and I have informed them that she left during her lunch hour and they are supposed to be keeping an eye on her. I read the site suggested by slaveofthegov and it was very informative, thank you. But, does this mean that after she turns 16 he is allowed to see her? Doesn't she have to be 18 before he can have any contact with her? I appreciate everyone's help, this has been a very difficult situation.
 

TLWE

Member
That is a good link. But it is strictly what is allowed for the military to enforce. He is still subject to local, state, and federal laws. For example, the age of consent in TX is 17. So, he would still be subject to arrest in TX when she is 16. Don't give up and keep arming yourself with info!
 
Just call his First Sergeant, and explain it to him. He will talk to him and if that doesnt work he could also not grant him a pass to leave state. take care of it in the lowest level possible- i mean this kid is seving his country while you sit around and enjoy the freedoms that his sacrafice provides, with out doing anything!!
 

nichmom

Junior Member
To Chrisdizz22

The reason I have not taken any action thus far is because I do not want to damage this persons military career in any way, I just want him to leave my daughter alone. He is stationed in the same state we live in. The bottom line is he is a man and she is a child, my first responsiblity is to protect my daughter.
 

TLWE

Member
chrisdizz22 said:
Just call his First Sergeant, and explain it to him. He will talk to him and if that doesnt work he could also not grant him a pass to leave state. take care of it in the lowest level possible- i mean this kid is seving his country while you sit around and enjoy the freedoms that his sacrafice provides, with out doing anything!!
I come from a family of current military AND veterans; and I am a former military spouse...no one is more patriotic than I, trust me.

JUST because he is in the military doesn't give him the right to be trying to get in her 15 year old's pants. She is 15, he is 19...it is against the law. If he is stupid enough to risk losing a career in the military for a sexual relationship with a minor, then that is on him and it is his fault. Not the fault of the parent's of an underage daughter, trying to do the right thing and protect their child.
 
Last edited:

carofl93

Member
nichmom said:
The reason I have not taken any action thus far is because I do not want to damage this persons military career in any way, I just want him to leave my daughter alone. He is stationed in the same state we live in. The bottom line is he is a man and she is a child, my first responsiblity is to protect my daughter.
You will not be doing anything to damage this man's career. He has done that all on his own by not abiding by what you have asked of him. You asked him nicely to stay away from your daughter and now due to his influence, your daughter is running the risk of problems with her education. Get in contact with his C/O or first sgt...they will take care of it in a way that will not harm his career unless he is stupid enough to go against their orders. If the Army is anything like the Air Force, he will have a folder called a PIF that stays on base (doesn't get transferred to another base when he is transferred) and more than likely a LOR (Letter of Reprimand) will be placed in that folder as a reminder to him and his supervisor that he was warned to stop.

Carol
 

badapple40

Senior Member
I would advice contacting the young man in question first, yourself. Explain that you will go to the base/base legal if he plans to continue to see her. Giving him a heads up will probably stop the behavior, unless he is a moron.

The issue is, really, what he's doing/done with her. If he's spending time with her, and thats it, then you don't get into a situation where he is necessarily committing any crimes, and you may need a no-contact order to be issued by the commander to stop the problem. For that, you'll need to contact the commander, though I suggest contacting the local base's staff judge advocate's office and explaining the situation since the commander will go to them anyways in all liklihood.
 

nichmom

Junior Member
Last Chance

I have contacted this man and have made arrangements to meet with him today. I will advise him of all the things that I have found out through these posts and with my own research. I have spoken to him before on the phone but never face to face. Hopefully I will get through to him. Wish me luck and thanks to everyone for your help.
 

TLWE

Member
Ummm...in your first post you stated:

"Now, when I say dated he was allowed to see her at my house only because she is not allowed to date yet."

In your last post you stated:

"I have spoken to him before on the phone but never face to face."

***That is a bit confusing as to how they only saw each other at your house, but you have never seen him face to face?
 

nichmom

Junior Member
What I meant was that I have not talked to him face to face about this current situation. Yes, I have seen and talked to him before but I have not seen him since he graduated and joined the army. When I first find out that they were talking on the phone again I spoke to him on the phone about my objections but that obviously didn't mean anything to him. Am I making sense now?

Anyway, I did meet with him and said what I had to say and I guess I'll have to wait and see if that worked. I really don't want to get him in to any trouble but I have to do what I think is right where my daughter is concerned.
 

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