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leapfrog226

Guest
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? North Carolina-Home of Record:Washington State

Hi. I have a married Marine son stationed in Iraq since May 2004. In Sept. his wife started sending email stating she would be filing for legal separation. In October his wife sent email asking what property he would like to maintain so she could list on the legal separation paperwork. Among one of the items she acknowledged that would be automatically given to him was his recently purchased motorcyle which he bought from his reenlistment bonus and is only titled in his name. Now, we find out she sold the motorcycle 3 days ago and spent the $2500 for deposit and rent on a home. She full well knew she would be able to remain in home on base during the separation period therefore she was not forced into moving out and renting a new home.

The last email contact we had with our son (2 weeks ago,) he asked that we retain an attorney and draw up a new power of attorney, which we did. Now we find out the attorney did not email the paperwork for his signature therefore his wife still maintains a general power of attorney.

We did contact the motorcycle shop where she sold the bike and the owner stated he was going to put a stop payment on the check to her and keep the bike in storage for my son when he returns home.

My question is, my daughter-in-law states she had the power of attorney and selling the bike was legal. Is there any legal recourse for my son since he is on active duty in Iraq with no communication and his wife acknowledged via email that the bike will be going to him in the legal separation decree? Is there any protection for him so that she can't sell his other vehicle which is titled in his name only. She has already cleaned out and overdrawn the joint checking and savings accounts.

I would also like to add to our knowledge no legal separation has been filed to date however she did attend a 2 hour presentation at base legal regarding separation and divorce.

Any and all help is appreciated.

Thank you!
 


rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
As difficult as this may be, you need to sit back and stay out of your son's marriage and not interfere, it sounds like you are overstepping your authority at this point.

Until your son gives you POA, while they are still legally married and no papers have been filed, your daughter-in-law has done nothing illegal, nor has your son taken measures in the 2 months since she said she was going to file for separation to make you POA. If your son wanted you to have POA, he would have gone to JAG whle there in Iraq and they would have very quickly cranked out a new POA, it would not be done by email, through an outside attorney that you hire, that is why it didn't go through. NC law will apply for divorce and separation and NC has some unique aspects to separation agreements and settlements which can be done privately. An absolute divorce may be granted after 1 year and 1 day of separation.

If she sold the motorcycle a while ago and used the money for a deposit for rent, how is the shop owner going to stop payment, for a sale that was legally made and hold the bike in storage based on your wishes without a POA? Has your son made changes in allotments? That may be behind some of this.

You are not giving us the true situation, only information to generate a certain response. I have had 2 son's in the military, 1 USMC/1 ARMY, I have been POA while son deployed in Bosnia and am familiar with such situations. I currently have a son in Iraq, so please get your facts straight and tell us the truth when asking a quesiton.

As a parent, if your son returns safely from Iraq, do you really want him riding around on a motorcycle? I hope your son returns safely, give him your support but let him handle his domestic affairs, he is an adult.
 
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leapfrog226

Guest
Well obviously rmet4nzkx you are assuming that I and his father have elected to interfere in my son's marriage and did NOT read where I stated HE ASKED for his dad's and mom's help, asked that we retain an attorney for him and asked that the attorney prepare a POA for HIS parents.

It is also apparent you are not an expert and posting on this forum was a huge mistake.

You also assume and jumped to the conclusion that I am not reflecting the true story, do want a 20 page post?????? Or since you claim to be an expert, maybe you would like all the emails from son asking for help and the hell his wife has put him through while is in Iraq defending this country and your right to assume!

I did not ask for help in solving an issue "if I wanted my son coming from Iraq-a war zone to return to riding a motorcyle" as this is HIS decision not mine and definitely not up for discussion.

Thanks for assuming...we all know the definition of assuming, now don't we!
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
leapfrog226 said:
Well obviously rmet4nzkx you are assuming that I and his father have elected to interfere in my son's marriage and did NOT read where I stated HE ASKED for his dad's and mom's help, asked that we retain an attorney for him and asked that the attorney prepare a POA for HIS parents.
I am not assuming and I read what you claim, but I also know what is involved in doing what you claim and what you claim is not consistant with your son asking you to do anything. He may have informed you and or wanted your input on his situation, he may have even asked for your help, but he does not need you to go to an outside attorney to draft a POA, that is an assumption on your part. Now call this attorney back and email your son and have him execute a new POA if he wants one.

It is also apparent you are not an expert and posting on this forum was a huge mistake.
I clearly told you that I had appropriate experiance related to POA and deployed military personnel, you are the one trying to get a POA illegally, how is it a mistake posting a question here just because you don't like the answer you get when you try to obtain an illegal POA?

You also assume and jumped to the conclusion that I am not reflecting the true story, do want a 20 page post?????? Or since you claim to be an expert, maybe you would like all the emails from son asking for help and the hell his wife has put him through while is in Iraq defending this country and your right to assume!
When your post is incongruent with known proceedures or military law, there is nothing to assume. You don't have enough facts to be competently representing your son even if he asked you to help him. I am sorry your son is going through domestic difficulties while serving our country in Iraq and no I don't need to see all the emails, he needs to contact JAG and follow their advice re the POA and also learn about the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act
http://www.dod.mil/specials/Relief_Act_Revision/
"Another significant protection under the act relates to civil proceedings. Service members involved in civil litigation can request a delay in proceedings if they can show their military responsibilities preclude their proper representation in court. This provision is most often invoked by service members who are on an extended deployment or stationed overseas. "I would recommend a service member contact the unit or installation legal office immediately if they receive notice of court proceedings against them," Lindemann said. "Civil court proceedings can involve very complex issues and no one should do anything, including requesting a stay of proceedings, prior to seeking legal advice.To learn more about these or other provisions of the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act, contact your unit or installation legal assistance office (JAG)"


I did not ask for help in solving an issue "if I wanted my son coming from Iraq-a war zone to return to riding a motorcyle" as this is HIS decision not mine and definitely not up for discussion.
That wasn't my question, was it? My son in Iraq bought a motorcycle while home on R&R, he didn't consult me or ask my thought on the matter. There are some things you have no choice in because your children are adults, that doesn't mean that you like it. However the situatuion is different with a spouse, even though the motorcycle was purchased in his name while married, she still has some say whereas you don't, so please look at it in a different light if you can, she can affect his safety by selling the motorcycle whereas you cannot and you may not have the entire picture. If he is buying a motorcycle with marital assets in his name only, clearly he was doing something before he was deployed and she stated her intention of separation.

Thanks for assuming...we all know the definition of assuming, now don't we!
Yes we all know about assuming, your post is an excellent example why one should not assume. Now please email your son and give him the link to the DOD and SSCRA, tell him to contact JAG.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My response:

As soon as I saw this, "his recently purchased motorcyle which he bought from his reenlistment bonus", my first thought is that this kid has no concept of making responsible decisions - - and his parents never taught him anything.

What the hell is he supposed to do with a motorcycle while he's in Iraq? Don't you think it would have been MORE responsible to put that money in the bank, let it grow INTEREST, and then, maybe later, buy the toys that no one needs? For Christ's sake, lady! Your kid is married and he's still thinking like a child!

Real good job, you did, with his upbringing.

IAAL
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
HomeGuru said:
leapfrog226 said:
It is also apparent you are not an expert and posting on this forum was a huge mistake.

**A: no, buying the bike was a huge mistake.

My response:

Apparently, this kid was brought up in a trailer park in a home with wheels, and he and his wife's first REAL house was on base. Real tacky.

IAAL
 
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leapfrog226

Guest
Whatever!!! If all the responses are from attorneys, no wonder the dads get the shaft in divorces.

Thanks for supporting a service member. I guess it never dawned all of the posters that just may be his wife and he wanted the motorcycle as well and together they both purchased but agreed to title in one spouse only or the fact the huge ground fire occurred in Fallujah at the same time the sale of the motrocycle transpired or the fact that legal was closed during this conflict and his SgtMaj was supposed to be helping him get in touch with legal in Iraq and all communications went down.

Hey, thanks all for the parenting advice. Those of you that are married, or have married deployed sons and daughters…hope you receive the same support. No wonder our service members feel like their country doesn’t support them.

Now ya all go have fun with this post because we won’t be back therefore your unwanted and not legal expert advice will not be read.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
leapfrog226 said:
Whatever!!! If all the responses are from attorneys, no wonder the dads get the shaft in divorces.

Thanks for supporting a service member. I guess it never dawned all of the posters that just may be his wife and he wanted the motorcycle as well and together they both purchased but agreed to title in one spouse only or the fact the huge ground fire occurred in Fallujah at the same time the sale of the motrocycle transpired or the fact that legal was closed during this conflict and his SgtMaj was supposed to be helping him get in touch with legal in Iraq and all communications went down.

Hey, thanks all for the parenting advice. Those of you that are married, or have married deployed sons and daughters…hope you receive the same support. No wonder our service members feel like their country doesn’t support them.

Now ya all go have fun with this post because we won’t be back therefore your unwanted and not legal expert advice will not be read.


My response:

We "support" your son, and the thousands of others. My comments were directed at YOU and your lousy parenting skills in rearing this soldier/child. I don't blame him one bit. I blame you, and your trailer trash way of rearing a child. This is what you get!

IAAL
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Thanks IAAL and HG for your comments, both of your were far more blunt than I re the son buying a motorcycle and I did speak as a parent. (BTW, my son bought a motorcycle while on R&R from Iraq, but he is 34, divorced and this is his 3rd motorcycle, the first 2 he wore out so this is nothing new, he's a contractor, so money is not the issue, still I wish he had not bought it at all.)

These parents should be grateful she sold the motorcycle, obviously their son is not very responsible buying a motorcycle in this situation and there is more than we are being told. It is understandable that they favor their son's story and don't like my advice, but in this case they need to look at the whole picture.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
We did contact the motorcycle shop where she sold the bike and the owner stated he was going to put a stop payment on the check to her and keep the bike in storage for my son when he returns home.
And since your daughter-in-law had general power of attorney, your involving the motorcycle shop and them placing a stop-payment on the check, will result in them facing either civil or criminal penalties.

UNTIL your son signs another power of attorney revoking the other, the daughter in law is well within her legal rights.

The rest is just to damn ridiculous to comment on except to tell you, YOU have no dog in this fight. No legal standing to do anything and therefore not eligible for any answers from this forum
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
leapfrog226 said:
Whatever!!! If all the responses are from attorneys, no wonder the dads get the shaft in divorces.
You didn't even mention any children of this marriage which brings up more issues in addition to the ones re spending the reenlsitment money.

Thanks for supporting a service member.
No one said anything nonsupportive of service members, however that was not the question, your question was about a POA and I gave you the information, your posts or getting angry with us or the advice you receive won't change your son's situation, please read the SSCRA before you complain more. You have not even commented on the advice given.

I guess it never dawned all of the posters that just may be his wife and he wanted the motorcycle as well and together they both purchased but agreed to title in one spouse only
BTDT, of course that is the story and she went along with it, what else is she supposed to say? She had POA and had the right to sell the motorcycle and to use it in the course of their marriage, remember, no papers have been filed and NC allows private separation agreements. Getting an understanding of the SSCRA will assist both you and your son.

or the fact the huge ground fire occurred in Fallujah at the same time the sale of the motrocycle transpired
But that was not the case in September and he could have changed his POA then, or not bought the motorcycle in the first place. A motorcycle is not an investment, please...

or the fact that legal was closed during this conflict and his SgtMaj was supposed to be helping him get in touch with legal in Iraq and all communications went down.
The sale of the motorcycle is the least of his worries, not will getting an outside attorney to draft a POA will not change this, the fighting in Fallujah will soon be over and your son can contact JAG, they will invoke SSCRA as appropriate.

Hey, thanks all for the parenting advice.
You are welcome, remember this is comming from the mother of a son in Iraq.


Those of you that are married, or have married deployed sons and daughters…hope you receive the same support.
You are not upset about the support you are getting, you are upset because your son has made some poor decisions and hasn't learned respionsibility, this is the product of your parenting skills and the fact that children sometimes take a long time to learn from their mistakes. You would have the same complaint if he wasn't in Iraq. Most son's mature while in the Marines, your son may take longer.

No wonder our service members feel like their country doesn’t support them.

Now ya all go have fun with this post because we won’t be back therefore your unwanted and not legal expert advice will not be read.
Well you stayed and it is your loss if your don't read the SSCRA.
 
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slaveofthegov

Guest
leapfrog226, sorry to hear about what is happening with your son. I am EVEN MORE SORRY to see how people are putting your son and your family values down because your son....OMG....spent his own money and bought a motorcycle!!!!

Having SERVED in Iraq, I know how hard it is to get anything done via JAG. Contrary to popular belief, there is not a JAG rep at every Firebase in Iraq. Servicemen and women have to travel to Camp Victory (that is the only place I know of a JAG office) in order to get things done. AND, it is not like they can just "take a day off" to go accomplish this matter.

I would ask a lawyer about your son's case, but the thing that is working against him is the POA. Since it is a general POA given to his wife, she can just about do anything.

Sorry.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
slaveofthegov said:
leapfrog226, sorry to hear about what is happening with your son. I am EVEN MORE SORRY to see how people are putting your son and your family values down because your son....OMG....spent his own money and bought a motorcycle!!!!

Having SERVED in Iraq, I know how hard it is to get anything done via JAG. Contrary to popular belief, there is not a JAG rep at every Firebase in Iraq. Servicemen and women have to travel to Camp Victory (that is the only place I know of a JAG office) in order to get things done. AND, it is not like they can just "take a day off" to go accomplish this matter.

I would ask a lawyer about your son's case, but the thing that is working against him is the POA. Since it is a general POA given to his wife, she can just about do anything.

Sorry.
Which is EXACTLY what she was told twice. So if she wants to come back here and piss and moan about us not 'supporting' the people who are serving in Iraq that's up to her. But it makes not one iota of difference to the LEGAL aspects of her son's case.

PERIOD!
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
slaveofthegov said:
leapfrog226, sorry to hear about what is happening with your son. I am EVEN MORE SORRY to see how people are putting your son and your family values down
Parenting skills and family values are 2 different things, no one put down family values, comments were made about responsibility which exist whether or not the son is deployed or not.
because your son....OMG....spent his own money and bought a motorcycle!!!!
Sorry, he spent money earned during the course of his marriage, not just his money, aparently they also had money probems already, not the time to buy a motorcycle.

Having SERVED in Iraq, I know how hard it is to get anything done via JAG.
This is true even in the US, but that is the route to take since they represent the Marine, here is where SSCRA comes into play.
Contrary to popular belief, there is not a JAG rep at every Firebase in Iraq. Servicemen and women have to travel to Camp Victory (that is the only place I know of a JAG office) in order to get things done. AND, it is not like they can just "take a day off" to go accomplish this matter.
Let's see what YOU advised someone a few days ago:
slaveofthegov said:
What I would do is go to the JAG office and have them put you in touch with either the DOJ or the Attorney General's office. I have a link to the JAG website which has an extensive review paper on the SSCRA. It is pretty heavy reading in some spots but should be helpful. I will post the link and applicable quotes just as soon as I find it.
I am not a lawyer!!!!!!
I would ask a lawyer about your son's case, but the thing that is working against him is the POA. Since it is a general POA given to his wife, she can just about do anything.
Which is exactly what OP was told in the first reply and why he needs to go through JAG.

Sorry.
Thank you for your service in Iraq.
 

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