What is the name of your state? NY
I am married to a green card applicant. We have one child (1 yr old). The marriage was in good faith. We are now separated. The reason for the separation is that my husband was having an affair during the time of my pregnancy and continuing until last month when I found out. He also is a very heavy drinker - at least 6 drinks a night and sometime 3 at lunchtime. During the time of the affair, he withdrew over $10,000 from our savings account without my knowledge, for gifts to his lover, hotel rooms, drinks. His drinking caused him to not to be able to take care of our baby -- passing out and sleeping through the baby's cries, getting drunk and failing to show up to relieve our nanny. I am the primary breadwinner and most of our savings (over $100K) are from my salary. Believe it or not, I'm considering not filing for divorce until his green card interview happens b/c even though he's screwed up our marriage, I want him to be able to have a r'ship with our son assuming he cleans up his act - which he pledges to do. But, I'm worried about the risks to my assets and the custody of our child if I wait. I have a large y/e bonus coming up, etc. He says he'll relinquish all claims to a share of the marital property as of Oct 2003 (when the affair started) and that he won't contest me having sole custody of our child, but he's lied to me so much, that I'm worried about trusting him. Here's the question:
1. Can a postnup determine the division of marital property upon divorce?
2. Can a postnup determine custody of the child? If so, can a court order issue based on the post nup?
3. To provide that in the case of my death, all assets go to my child and custody of the child is with my family - NOT my husband - do I need a will, or can this be done in the postnup?
4. How is a post-nup different from a separation agreement? In NY a sep agreement converts to a divorce after one year and is considered by the INS to be dissolution of the marriage, which would terminate the green card application. But will the post nup be invalid if it's seen as really a separation agreement?
Thanks for your help. I"m so torn up over this.
Marie
I am married to a green card applicant. We have one child (1 yr old). The marriage was in good faith. We are now separated. The reason for the separation is that my husband was having an affair during the time of my pregnancy and continuing until last month when I found out. He also is a very heavy drinker - at least 6 drinks a night and sometime 3 at lunchtime. During the time of the affair, he withdrew over $10,000 from our savings account without my knowledge, for gifts to his lover, hotel rooms, drinks. His drinking caused him to not to be able to take care of our baby -- passing out and sleeping through the baby's cries, getting drunk and failing to show up to relieve our nanny. I am the primary breadwinner and most of our savings (over $100K) are from my salary. Believe it or not, I'm considering not filing for divorce until his green card interview happens b/c even though he's screwed up our marriage, I want him to be able to have a r'ship with our son assuming he cleans up his act - which he pledges to do. But, I'm worried about the risks to my assets and the custody of our child if I wait. I have a large y/e bonus coming up, etc. He says he'll relinquish all claims to a share of the marital property as of Oct 2003 (when the affair started) and that he won't contest me having sole custody of our child, but he's lied to me so much, that I'm worried about trusting him. Here's the question:
1. Can a postnup determine the division of marital property upon divorce?
2. Can a postnup determine custody of the child? If so, can a court order issue based on the post nup?
3. To provide that in the case of my death, all assets go to my child and custody of the child is with my family - NOT my husband - do I need a will, or can this be done in the postnup?
4. How is a post-nup different from a separation agreement? In NY a sep agreement converts to a divorce after one year and is considered by the INS to be dissolution of the marriage, which would terminate the green card application. But will the post nup be invalid if it's seen as really a separation agreement?
Thanks for your help. I"m so torn up over this.
Marie