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Mentally Ill deserter

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Hi,

My story is really too long for a forum so I will summarize as best I can and if you need more information, please just ask.

I joined the Navy at 27 years of age in 1999. I had no H.S. Diploma, a speeding ticket I didn't take care of, 2 kids to take care of that perhaps weren't even mine, and a slew of family deaths to cope with.

No matter what I told the recruiter he kept saying we can work it out. I tried to take classes to finish my diploma but I was too depressed. "That's okay" he said, "we'll just get you a waiver". He also suggested along with the person in charge at the recruiting station, that I should leave the ticket and the kids off of my application.

So I did, and went to boot camp. Everything went okay. Then on to Submarine School in Groton. That was fine for a few weeks, then I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't tolerate anyone. This had happened to me before, but I always had a video game or my animals to play with to distract me. In my sub school dorm I was just going crazy.

Finally, I couldn't take it and I took a cab to the nearest mall in New London, bought a bunch of stuff, then I went to the Greyhound Station and bought a ticket home to L.A. I went to my mom's apartment and told her I was on leave. Nothing happened, but I didn't have any money either, so I just left and went out into the streets. I remained homeless, in shelters, or motels for 2 long years.

Then someone at a shelter suggested I go to a mental health clinic that was free and nearby. I went and the doctors there were shocked I had gone so long without treatment. The life I described to them was literally filled with manic and depressive episodes since my late teens.(Like the navy, joining and deserting)

It took me 2 years to fully commit to taking medication, and my doctor still changes it from time to time. The side effects are plenty and I have little energy. The last time I was off my medication and back in the street, a person at General Relief(welfare) insisted I apply for SSDI. Years before I had worked enough to qualify. I was approved and everything was fine, and I really thought that since the SSDI was federal, they just cleared the Desertion away.

Nope.

I recently received a letter saying I owe some of the money I was paid back, because I have this warrant from the Navy. So, I would like to have this go away of course. I do have tremendous fear about it, not only for my own sake and how I will handle it, but for my fiancee as well.

She is biploar as well, and has been crying more than I care to say since I got this letter.

Also, I don't know if this counts for anything, but I have not done anything wrong since, no police charges or anything like that. Also my psychotherapist can write a letter on my behalf.

Any advice will help,
Joe
 
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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Follow through with any treatment needed, and tell your girlfriend the same thing. Please do not have children, as you/her clearly cannot function with the disorders you have.

I'm sorry your meds are not helping, but you are very lucky you have not been charged as a deserter.
 
--PARIDISE-- said:
Follow through with any treatment needed, and tell your girlfriend the same thing. Please do not have children, as you/her clearly cannot function with the disorders you have.

I'm sorry your meds are not helping, but you are very lucky you have not been charged as a deserter.
I think I have been charged as a deserter. :(
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
bipolardeserter said:
I think I have been charged as a deserter. :(
You are in serious trouble then. I tried not to upset you, but the fact is, BIPOLAR is treated very well with medications. Where is your mother and does she still think you are in the military after two years of being gone?

I really do not buy into your story at all. Thank You for not serving our country though.
 
--PARIDISE-- said:
You are in serious trouble then. I tried not to upset you, but the fact is, BIPOLAR is treated very well with medications. Where is your mother and does she still think you are in the military after two years of being gone?

I really do not buy into your story at all. Thank You for not serving our country though.
Well if you would like to come by and judge for yourself then fine.

Bipolar disorder from what I am told can be treated, but I wasn't aware I had it when I joined the Navy. Also the medication I take Lithium, Abilify, Trazadone, and Wellbutrin, leave me very tired now. Also the nature of Bipolar disorder is to have stages where the patient doesn't feel he/she needs the meds at all. I have been there too.

I am very patriotic, and saddened that I couldn't serve my country. If I could volunteer to help out at the VA or some other place I would.

If they would have me of course.

Please keep in mind I am only asking for advice, not judgements and condemnation.

Thanks.
 
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--PARIDISE-- said:
AGAIN! Where is your mother and is she under the assumption you are still in the military after two years ?
My mother is fine in her apartment(not that it is relevant) and yes she knows I am not in a submarine.

Jeez.

I didn't post here asking for the third degree. This isn't the third degree forum, it is the free advice forum.

Also your above comment regarding what I and my fiancee shouldn't do with regard to having children is highly insensitive.

I have never heard anyone tell someone else to not have children.

You should be ashamed of that comment, and I would edit it if I was you.

I might be a deserter who feels terribly about it, but at least I do not judge people I do not know. I might make a fine father.
 
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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
bipolardeserter said:
My mother is fine in her apartment(not that it is relevant) and yes she knows I am not in a submarine.FINALLY!!!!!!!
Jeez.

I didn't post here asking for the third degree. This isn't the third degree forum, it is the free advice forum.

Also your above comment regarding what I and my fiancee shouldn't do with regard to having children is highly insensitive.It is Sensitive to a child.

I have never heard anyone tell someone else to not have children.Well you heard it from me. You cannot take care of a child in manic states.It is not insensitive, it is reality. The meds you mentioned you are on are not working, and do you understand the harm you can do to a child in one of your manic moments?


You should be ashamed of that comment, and I would edit it if I was you.That is not going to happen, and I will say it again.............Please do not have children with a girlfriend who is Bipolar also. You are not under control with the many meds you take, and it would not be fair to a child.
 
--PARIDISE-- said:
bipolardeserter said:
My mother is fine in her apartment(not that it is relevant) and yes she knows I am not in a submarine.FINALLY!!!!!!!
Jeez.

I didn't post here asking for the third degree. This isn't the third degree forum, it is the free advice forum.

Also your above comment regarding what I and my fiancee shouldn't do with regard to having children is highly insensitive.It is Sensitive to a child.

I have never heard anyone tell someone else to not have children.Well you heard it from me. You cannot take care of a child in manic states.It is not insensitive, it is reality. The meds you mentioned you are on are not working, and do you understand the harm you can do to a child in one of your manic moments?


You should be ashamed of that comment, and I would edit it if I was you.That is not going to happen, and I will say it again.............Please do not have children with a girlfriend who is Bipolar also. You are not under control with the many meds you take, and it would not be fair to a child.
That is your opinion and lucky for me I get to decide what is appropriate for me.

If you have any helpful advice about how to get a discharge feel free to post it.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
bipolardeserter said:
That is your opinion and lucky for me I get to decide what is appropriate for me. You stated you were a deserter, sorry, but it is not up to you.


If you have any helpful advice about how to get a discharge feel free to post it.
You never asked about getting a discharge, you just asked how you could stop desertion charges.
 
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--PARIDISE-- said:
Did that, and now I am "POOF"
Uhh, no. I don't see any about advice about the Navy.

Just about my planned parenthood choices.

Hopefully someone else here can be more helpful, or at least less antagnostic.
 
To Paradise:

Well what is the difference between a discharge and getting help with desertion charges?

See there is a chance for you to give me advice and answers about my problem, instead of lecturing me about if I should have children.
 
--PARIDISE-- said:
Nevermind, the military will decide your options.
You post all those posts about my mom and children I don't yet have, and then you say "nevermind"? :confused: :confused: :confused:

Is there anyone on here with some advice or experiences?

I don't know why the badgering is tolerated here, it should be deleted in my view.
 
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Today I talked to my attorney who works with a disabled advocacy group and she is going to call the Navy.

If anyone else has any information at all, please could you post it?

Thanks in advance.
 

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