Change Of Mind

What is the name of your state?de
A friend of mine joined the Navy in May. Since then, things that he has been told have changed. For one, He was given a $6,000 sign on bonus for joining that he has yet to recieve and when he asks about it, they brush him off telling him, "It takes time". He was always told that people with the highest scores in there class have first options of choosing where they would like to be stationed and just the other day they told him they they have changed things and now you dont have a choice on where you are stationed after schooling. Also, after bootcamp, he was given a pay increase and should be getting $600 every two weeks but has only been recieving $470 and when he has asked about that, he is also brushed off and told that the pay increase takes time. All of this just adds to the main reason that he doesn't want to be there anymore and wants out. Who would he talk to concerning this matter, what rights does he have or does he not have any since he signed papers to join for 4 years?

Can someone please help and give me some kind of advice or somewhere I can look on-line for information about trying to get discharged?

yeah sometimes the bonus can take awhile- and as for the pay- are they taking 100 out a month for the GI bill- Plus military pay also gets taxed.

I think you have come to the wrong site if your just looking to get out- Its the airforce , if you cant handle the airforce id hate to think of where your life is gonna take you- the airforce is so spoiled

just tell you friend to do his time

chrisdizz22 said:

yeah sometimes the bonus can take awhile- and as for the pay- are they taking 100 out a month for the GI bill- Plus military pay also gets taxed.

I think you have come to the wrong site if your just looking to get out- Its the airforce , if you cant handle the airforce id hate to think of where your life is gonna take you- the airforce is so spoiled

just tell you friend to do his time

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Thanks for your reply but he checked into the money they are taking out for all that and its still not adding up.
As far as him doing his TIME...Your not the first to look at it like that and thats what gets me. They are helping to make a difference, not in Jail. These men join the service by volunteer to help and they are treated like prisoners/children. I understand the bottcamp part-to toughen you up-but come one now...The things I heard are crazy. They are there helping to make a difference, not to be treated like people who did something wrong. If they want out, they should be allowed to change there mind. Not just for any reason but some people were told lies to get them to join and then once there,, they cant get out. The service sometimes just isn't for some people. That doesn't make them any less or more of a man/woman. Yes, the service offers alot but there is alot of inside stuff and treatment that just isn't right.

well tell your friend that he needs togo and ask about why his money isnt right- everyday- they may try to brush you off for soo long, but after awhile they will get sick of him- and get the stuff taken care of- and yes i understand that the military isnt for every one- and the treatment can seem cold and harsh, but thats the military, you have to adjust yourself to deal with it, to not take stuff to seriously- i really dont know how he would go about getting out, just because they messed his pay up- anything he does to get out will probably tarnish his future, and worse yet, when he does start to try to get out, people will treat him like a piece of trash= his life will become hellish,

and the military just doesnt let people go because they want out, because most of the people in the military would get out, there are alot of people in the military that dont like it, but deal with it because there isnt alot they can do, besides dealing with it.

chrisdizz22 said:

well tell your friend that he needs togo and ask about why his money isnt right- everyday- they may try to brush you off for soo long, but after awhile they will get sick of him- and get the stuff taken care of- and yes i understand that the military isnt for every one- and the treatment can seem cold and harsh, but thats the military, you have to adjust yourself to deal with it, to not take stuff to seriously- i really dont know how he would go about getting out, just because they messed his pay up- anything he does to get out will probably tarnish his future, and worse yet, when he does start to try to get out, people will treat him like a piece of trash= his life will become hellish,

and the military just doesnt let people go because they want out, because most of the people in the military would get out, there are alot of people in the military that dont like it, but deal with it because there isnt alot they can do, besides dealing with it.

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I understand and agree and I have told him to keep asking about his money until they get sick of seeing his face and hearing his voice.
As far as him getting out, I told him that If he does choose to try and get out, it would be a fight. I guess for him, most of the people he is stationed with are 18-21 and he's 26 just going in and feels out of place and just not into what they are asking from him. Its ashame but his recruiter made it seem so different when talking him into joining. Now he's there and he wants to be home which I'm sure half of the people there do. I just worry because he has change alot since he has been there...He's not the same, seems depressed and unhappy with his decision.

Your friend is 26 now he needs to grow up and act his age, there is probablly a reason he is still floundering around at age 26 when even the 18-21 yo are coping? Is this the man you have in your sites for a relationship so you can deny your child the relationship with their father like you were doing? If so, he's not very reliable now is he? It's everyone elses fault, the recruiter, etc. eventually, it will be your fault. Wake up. Let the Navy make a man out of him, he really should be in the Marines, but he's not up to their standards.

rmet4nzkx said:

Your friend is 26 now he needs to grow up and act his age, there is probablly a reason he is still floundering around at age 26 when even the 18-21 yo are coping? Is this the man you have in your sites for a relationship so you can deny your child the relationship with their father like you were doing? If so, he's not very reliable now is he? It's everyone elses fault, the recruiter, etc. eventually, it will be your fault. Wake up. Let the Navy make a man out of him, he really should be in the Marines, but he's not up to their standards.

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Excuse me Met, but he has already graduated from college. You dont know what your talking about. I hate coming here for advice and being degraded by people who have no idea about whats going on. this website is for helpful advice so go find some chat room if you want to put people down. The main reason he wants out is so he can start a family and not have to rip his family from state to state and leave for months at a time. With the background and schooling he already has, he can very well make it without the Navy.

worriedwith1 said:

Excuse me Met, but he has already graduated from college. You dont know what your talking about. I hate coming here for advice and being degraded by people who have no idea about whats going on. this website is for helpful advice so go find some chat room if you want to put people down. The main reason he wants out is so he can start a family and not have to rip his family from state to state and leave for months at a time. With the background and schooling he already has, he can very well make it without the Navy.

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How come you always refuse to answer the questions?
Well in the thread you deleted on 12-20-2004 you were planning on moving your child out of state so you could move with your Navy boyfrined. So my question is very relevant.

We explained at that time that you can't just deny your child's father his rights and so you got mad and deleted your thread. But I posted so that there was a record, now 2 weeks later you are back still working your angles about your Navy boyfrined, that is why he wants out because you know now you cannot move your child.

The father is good enough to provide child care so you can go out and party but not good enough to keep the child near to continue their relationship. You can move with your boyfriend, but you will have to leave your child behind with their father.

You can delete this again, but I will also post it on the other thread which you cannot delete.

The advice is the same, your friend made a comitment to the Navy, You are going to have to live with it.

12-10-2004, 01:27 PM
rmet4nzkx
Senior Member

Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,961
WORRIEDWITH1 CAUGHT IN A WEB OF CONTROL & LIES
What is the name of your state? disbelief
For those of you who notice, earlier today, Worriedwith1 posted a thread number 15 in a long line of posts where the reoccuring theme is that she and the proported father of her 2year old child and her controlling, was caught in her web of lies.

In one thread she is trying to take custody away or move away, in another complaining because he ex who works long hours 5-6 days a week isn't always there to babysit, she considers visitation his obligation to provide child care for her child so she can go out and party and such, in others she has a new boy friend, in the Navy, with whom she wants to move and the child away from her father!

When confronted with proving paternity, establishing custody and visitation through the courts, she bolts, her lies uncovered. She is afraid the proported father might file for custody and may even win, so she avoids that because she can't control the situation. 15 threads, she gets the same answers, never what she wants so she posts again and again!

Rather than defend or explain, she deletes the thread, as if we are all so stupid or won't remember.

Earth to Worriedwith1 WE ARE ON TO YOU

PLEASE ESTABLISH PATERNITY FOR YOUR CHILD AND CUSTODY AND VISITATION FOR YOUR CHILD THROUGH THE COURTS AND IF YOU COME BACK AND ASK QUESTIONS HERE AGAIN, PLEASE TELL THE TRUTH!

#2
12-10-2004, 03:52 PM
casa
Member

Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 370
geeez it's women like that......that make it hard for NCPs to trust us CPs!! Women like that are why I had to fight for months to move 40 miles!

Well, it's NEVER in the best interest of a child to be yanked from a parent's life! And I ought to know- I had a missing NCP for years....and guess what? He showed back up and I made adjustments- Not always easy, but always rewarding in the end. They have a relationship now. I didn't make it about a babysitter and I didn't make it about money...but I did make it about what was good for my child!

I can sleep at night....Can worriedwith1?