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Want to see my grandson

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NEET

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
In Feb. 2004 my son was contacted by an old friend that she was having a paternity test done on him and someone else. This was the first time we knew a baby existed. He had been born the beginning of Oct. 2003. Test was done and results came back 8/25/04. The baby is my son's. The mother brought the baby to see me 2 times during the next week. My son did not come to see him. He doesn't want to see this child. She called me several times during the month of Sept. and promised to bring the baby to see me on his birthday. She didn't. Then the phone calls stopped. (She didn't have a phone so I didn't have a number to contact her.) I finally got an address off of one of my son's original court documents. I wrote her and ask to see the baby for Chirstmas. She said she would call me and set up a time and never did. I'm tired of her unkept promises. I contacted a lawyer and he told me that he doesn't believe in grandparents rights and told me that I would have to kiss the mother's "butt" to see him. Is there any hope that I could get something legal in writing so she would have to let me see him?
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
It's very unlilkely. What the lawyer told you was probably the best advice. And what's wrong with your son that he's turning his back on his child?
 

NEET

Junior Member
I'm not going to get into the reasons that my son is being a jerk! Needless to say this situation has put a big strain on our relationship. I think alot of it is that his father did the same thing to him and now that he i in his 20's he and his dad are really close. (Now that he is raised) Thanks for the reply!
 
Okay, your son is a jerk & will not help take care of his child. Not your fault. But you're upset the mother doesn't bring grandchild to see you upon YOUR request wheh YOU want to see the baby. So, she's raising child on her own & she should accommodate you? Did you offer to help in any way? Like maybe offer to watch child when SHE wants you to so she can take care of something or have a little break? Have you bought anything like diapers, formula, clothes, anything at all for this child? You don't have to "kiss her butt";but, how about a little kindness & consideraton? Legally, you don't have a prayer. If you really care about your grandchild & not about yourself & your rights to see him, do something to help!! Otherwise, I don't think your son's father is the only person he learned to be a jerk from.
 

VeronicaGia

Senior Member
NEET said:
What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania
In Feb. 2004 my son was contacted by an old friend that she was having a paternity test done on him and someone else. This was the first time we knew a baby existed. He had been born the beginning of Oct. 2003. Test was done and results came back 8/25/04. The baby is my son's. The mother brought the baby to see me 2 times during the next week. My son did not come to see him. He doesn't want to see this child. She called me several times during the month of Sept. and promised to bring the baby to see me on his birthday. She didn't. Then the phone calls stopped. (She didn't have a phone so I didn't have a number to contact her.) I finally got an address off of one of my son's original court documents. I wrote her and ask to see the baby for Chirstmas. She said she would call me and set up a time and never did. I'm tired of her unkept promises. I contacted a lawyer and he told me that he doesn't believe in grandparents rights and told me that I would have to kiss the mother's "butt" to see him. Is there any hope that I could get something

It's doubtful. Parents have the right to parent their children, and if that means excluding grandparents from their lives, that's what it means.

You'd be better off working on your son to get visitation rights so he can bring the child to you during his visitation.
 

NEET

Junior Member
IrishLady47 said:
Okay, your son is a jerk & will not help take care of his child. Not your fault. But you're upset the mother doesn't bring grandchild to see you upon YOUR request wheh YOU want to see the baby. So, she's raising child on her own & she should accommodate you? Did you offer to help in any way? Like maybe offer to watch child when SHE wants you to so she can take care of something or have a little break? Have you bought anything like diapers, formula, clothes, anything at all for this child? You don't have to "kiss her butt";but, how about a little kindness & consideraton? Legally, you don't have a prayer. If you really care about your grandchild & not about yourself & your rights to see him, do something to help!! Otherwise, I don't think your son's father is the only person he learned to be a jerk from.
When she brought him it wasn't by MY request. She called. She brought him so he could be part of our lives. She has no car. I have offered her transportation. I have offered her baby sitting if she ever needed it. And yes ...if she would ask I would help with diapers etc. I bought clothes for him for his birthday (which he has now probably out grown) and Christmas because her saying she would bring him. Last time I talked to her was before Christmas and she was out of state and she said she would call me back so we could set up a time convienent for HER to bring him. And I would provide the transportation.
 

MISTBHAVEN

Junior Member
Another Gramma

Hi I went through this too. From what I learned legally we have no help. Here is what I did. My son fathered 2 children now 9 & 7 She left him while pregnate with the second child. I was not told when she was born . I saw the two when the youngest was two mo old. Mom just droped by. I offered to babysit help with cost etc. My son did not keep in touch with them.
I found the mothers ,aunt and made friends with any members of her family I could. Alwayse offering to help. I also contacted CPS asking they make note that I was a biological gramma If ever needed I would be there.. Years passed when I knew where they lived I send birthday and Xmas cards with money for mom to buy what she felt was best. twice I recieved last minuet invitations to birthday parties alwayse at a restraunt where all paid there own bill. Fine with me I saw them.
The aunt I mentioned did email me pictures over the years. Later through her I learned mom had a drug proublem and this aunt had the kids.
Now all thease years later mom is clean of drugs and married to a nice man. I was invited to the wedding. My son now sees the kids. And this year 2004 I saw there home for the first time.
For me it worked I think because I alwayse made the mother welcome. I told her we would alwayse love her regardless of what happened between her and son. When sending presents I trusted her to buy as she saw fit. When I learned of the up comming marriage. I told her to live her life give the kids the most normal home she could. That her new husband was welcome in our home.
It was hard and yes my son was bitter over child support and such but now thanks me for keeping that door open as he sees them now. Put your self in her shoes. She is proubly afraid you will only defend your sons actions or judge her. Just keep trying and loving them. Time will work it out.
 

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