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Defending Myself

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AstrongFATHER

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?PENNSYLVANIA
HELLO I AM A SINGLE FATHER LIVING IN PENNSYLVANIA. I GAINED FULL CUSTODY OF MY SON ONE YEAR AGO ON THE GROUNDS THAT I PROVED MY EX-WIFE WAS A DRUG ADDICT AND PROVING THERE WERE DRUGS IN MY SON'S BODY. AS I SAID I GAINED FULL (TOTAL) CUSTODY. DURING THE FINAL HEARING I , WITHOUT THINKING , LET THE MOTHER SEE HIM IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GRANDPARENTS.( ACTUAL ORDER STATES " THE FATHER SHALL HAVE PRIMARY PHYSICAL AND LEGAL CUSTODY OF THE CHILD. THE MOTHER SHALL HAVE SUPERVISED VISITS IN THE PRESENCE OF THE MATERNAL, GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDFATHER, WITH TIMES TO BE AGREED UPON BY THE FATHER AND GRANDPARENTS.) LIKE I SAID EARLIER I, WITHOUT THINKING AT THE TIME, GAVE THIS PRIVILEDGE TO THE GRANDPARENTS AND THE MOTHER FOR THE SAKE OF MY 5 YEAR OLD SON.
I ALSO LET HER GO TO HIS SPORTING EVENTS AND PRACTICES. A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, AT ONE OF HIS PRACTICES, SHE STARTED TROUBLE WITH ME AND I CALLED THE POLICE ON HER SO THEY COULD ESCORT HER OFF THE PROPERTY. I TOLD THE POLICE THE SITUATION (BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE THE COURT ORDER ON ME) AND THEY WANTED TO ASK THE GRANDFATHER ( HER FATHER) IF I HAD FULL CUSTODY AND IF I HAD THE RIGHT TO THROW HER OFF THE PROPERTY. HE SIDED WITH HIS DAUGHTER , OF COURSE, AND USED THAT LITTLE PARAGRAPH IN THE COURT ORDER,THAT I MENTIONED EARLIER, AGAINST ME. THAT PARAGRAPH, THAT I PUT IN THERE, WAS SUPPOSED TO MEAN WHEN HE GOES TO THE GRANDPARENTS HOUSE SHE IS ALLOWED TO SEE HIM IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GRANDPARENTS AND NOT IN A SITUATION WHEN WE ARE ALL AT ONE OF HIS EVENTS. WELL I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS LIKE THE DEVIL QUOTING THE BIBLE AND THAT HE USED THAT AGAINST ME. NOW I FILED FOR A MODIFICATION ON THE COURT ORDER AND I WANT THAT WHOLE PARAGRAPH OUT OF THE COURT ORDER AND I DO NOT WANT THE GRANDPARENTS INVOLVED ANYMORE( I AM NOT TRYING TO BE SPITEFUL BUT THERE ARE OTHER REASONS THAT I CANNOT PROVE THAT HAPPENED AND NOW I AM FED UP WITH EVERYTHING).
MY QUESTIONS TO YOU IS CAN I GET THAT PARAGRAPH THROWN OUT OF THE ORDER SINCE I PUT THERE?
CAN I DENY THE GRANDPARENTS TO SEE HIM EVENTHOUGH THEY NEVER TOOK ME TO COURT FOR ANYTHING?
AND IF THE GRANDPARENTS TAKE ME COURT, SINCE I CANNOT REALLY AFFORD A LAWYER, WHAT CAN I USE IN MY DEFENSE TO FIGHT THE GRANDPARENTS IN COURT(E.G. OLD COURT CASES, FACTS, INFORMATION, ANYTHING POSSIBLE IN MY DEFENSE)?
I AM SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT I COULD AND WILL APPRECIATE ANY ANSWERS OR HELP YOU COULD GIVE ME. THANKYOU
P.S. ALSO I HAVE A REALLY GOOD JOB, I HAVE A REAL NICE HOME, MY SON IS WELL EDUCATED FOR HIS AGE AND I NEVER BEEN IN TROUBLE. ALSO A SOCIAL WORKER RECOMMED TOTAL CUSTODY TO ME TO THE COURTS.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
First, pleases turn off the all caps. It is simply to read to read and most people won't even answer a post that is made in all caps.

I foresee some problems for you if you attempt to take this to court. Your son's sporting events and practices take place in a public place. You have no authority to allow or disallow his mother and grandparents to be there. Calling the police to have them escorted off the property was a bad move unless there happened to be a restraining order of some type in place that prohibited that. Having full custody doesn't give a parent quite that much control.

Also, a judge isn't going to disallow ALL visitation to the mother. The mother would at least recieve supervised visitation. Her parents (the grandparents) are who a judge would most commonly consider to be the appropriate people to supervise her visitation. If you hadn't put that paragraph into the orders the judge probably would have put it in anyway.

Taking this back to court may have the opposite results than the ones you want.
 

AstrongFATHER

Junior Member
First of all thanks for the quick reply and sorry for writing in all caps.
I think we're on different pages here. The judge did take all rights away from the mother because she endanged my son's life, refused to take a drug test and didn't show up for the final hearing. The judge then awarded me "primary physical and legal custody of the child". I then, not thinking, voluntarily said the grandparents could see him when i see fit. Then since she uses that address i said she could see him but the grandparents are responsible and she could not be alone with him. The judge wasn't going to award anything to them if I did't tell him to. My question is since I put that in there can I get that erased and what kind of proof or laws can I present to the judge in my defense. I so appreciate all your help.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I suspect that, unless you can show that having the grandparents supervise visitation is harmful to the CHILD, the judge is going to leave it in. And I really don't think that your order bars her attending his sports events/practices. If it's a public place and there's no restraining order.... it isn't the same as visitation.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
AstrongFATHER said:
First of all thanks for the quick reply and sorry for writing in all caps.
I think we're on different pages here. The judge did take all rights away from the mother because she endanged my son's life, refused to take a drug test and didn't show up for the final hearing. The judge then awarded me "primary physical and legal custody of the child". I then, not thinking, voluntarily said the grandparents could see him when i see fit. Then since she uses that address i said she could see him but the grandparents are responsible and she could not be alone with him. The judge wasn't going to award anything to them if I did't tell him to. My question is since I put that in there can I get that erased and what kind of proof or laws can I present to the judge in my defense. I so appreciate all your help.
Ok...the judge might not have awarded supervised visitation to mom at that point, since she was a no show and didn't take her drug test...however...you need to understand that the courts simply don't cut off a parent entirely, not unless they are unsafe to be around the child, even WITH supervision...and that is harder than heck to prove. Maybe if you hadn't agreed mom would have had to make some serious effort to get supervised visitation...however if she had, it WOULD have been ordered. I suspect that the grandparents would have hauled her butt into court to do that.

On top of that the "public place" issue is honestly going to bite you in the butt. You really messed up there...sorry, but you did. A judge is NOT going to like the fact that you called the police (therefore creating a much bigger scene than her "getting into it" with you) to have her and her parents evicted from a public place. You actually caused some traumna for your child in doing that...as well as for the other children present.

It would have been far wiser to "disengage"...and walk away...and then deal with the issue in court later if warranted.

I am actually on your side here...othewise I would simply be "bashing" you for doing that. I am trying to tell you the truth so that you can put yourself and your child in a better situation in the future.

Honestly, if you take this to court now...with the current circumstances, I suspect that you would go from an "as agreed" schedule, to a specific schedule (removing your control)...and that you would get hammered for the police incident. I could be wrong...I wasn't there...but my gut instinct tells me that it would go that way.
 

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