Alimony modification-ex abusing the system

What is the name of your state? CT
I filed for the divorce in June 2000 after 10 years of marriage. 2 boys now 13,14.

Ex-wife MBA had worked all her life but when divorce became inevitable in Jan 2000, she then quit a $ 55,000 job (as Sr. Programmer Analust in a major Insurance co. in Hartford). During the trial said now wants to be a full time teacher and is going to school for certification.

We both went for the custody of the kids. Divorce got final in May 2002. Joint custody, she the main custodian.

Judge highly partial. She awarded her the house (and $ 100,000 equity).
I got the joint Credit cards $ 21,000
She kept her 401K ($ 75,000), I kept mine ($ 23,000).
Child S. $ 319/week
Alimony (terminates in Dec 2005)was $ 330/week from May 2002 till Oct 2003 and then was to go down to $ 150/week till the non-modifiable end date.
In Oct 03, she went to court again saying that she was not accepted in the teaching program and thus needed extension. The same judge increased the alimony from $ 150 to 264/week, without any further reduction date.

My expenses have gone up. My car (178000 miles) finally died. Bought a new car ($ 600/month). Children Medical has gone up. Their clothing and sports which I pay ( and want to continue to pay) has gone up. I don't have the money to hire atty. but this exploitation ( and the financial hardhsip) is too much. I want to file a motion myself, and ask , as to how an able bodied capable and highly educated person is not being held accountable and is allowed to live like a parasite. Though it is only another year, but should I continue to let my self exploited?
She says she would be done with the ceritifcation close to the alimony end time. I did offer that she get a full time job during the day and go to school in the night, while I take care of kids home work and dinner etc. and then can drop to her when she comes back. We all live in the same town. But she refused the offer.

What are my options, for the Alimony part only.

Welcome any advice/thoughts.

From everything I have read, the courts allow the woman to change their profession so they can be "happy" in what they do.
How convenient for her to do it while divorcing. My boyfriend is going through the same thing as you. Does your ex work part time at all?
I guess she wouldn't need getting the child support and alimony each week.
Maybe you can motion that she get a part time job, or suggest to the courts that you will take care of the children while she is at school at night. I don't know about CT, but in NJ, the courts do not like it when a man asks for a reduction in anything. In NJ, the woman gets what she wants.

Terri7900 said:

Does your ex work part time at all?
I guess she wouldn't need getting the child support and alimony each week.
Maybe you can motion that she get a part time job, or suggest to the courts that you will take care of the children while she is at school at night. I don't know about CT, but in NJ, the courts do not like it when a man asks for a reduction in anything. In NJ, the woman gets what she wants.

Click to expand...

Total bullsh*t, Terry. For starters - Mom would be getting child support regardless if she's the custodial parent. As for NJ giving the woman whatever she wants? ROFLMA.

Stealth,
Sorry I meant to say, I guess she wouldn't need to work after getting all the alimony.
Every case is different, but from experiences of some of my friends, the woman got everything they wanted. Sorry if you didn't.

Terri7900 said:

Stealth,
Sorry I meant to say, I guess she wouldn't need to work after getting all the alimony.
Every case is different, but from experiences of some of my friends, the woman got everything they wanted. Sorry if you didn't.

Click to expand...

Has nothing to do with what was wanted or not - the experiences that you cite are purely anecdotal and a miniscule percentage of the cases that are heard every day. It doesn't help anyone when people perpetuate sterotypes.

I guess you are right. Not all women are bitches.

And perhaps you need to find a new circle of friends.

I don't know what you mean.

If your circle of friends primarily includes men who havebeen or will be screwed by their b*tchy women - you need new friends. Who have, like, somewhat normal adult relationships.

It was normal until the wife screwed the neighbor, quit her job, and took him to the cleaners.
What makes you so normal anyway?

That street runs in both directions. My ex husband quit a $90,000.00 a year job and is now making less than $10,000./year just to get around child support. During the divorce he was in contempt so many times I lost count, the courts did nothing. He liquidated tons of assests against a court order not too, Ohio court did nothing.

Now he wants to take the tax deduction for our youngest child even though it wouldn't do him any good just to screw me over. This after he cashed out a 401k awarded to me. So I guess he can go blow in the wind.

I'm at a loss as to why these courts are letting them get away with this? Those of us who don't break the rules run out of money running back to court trying to enforce the rules that the court seems to care less about.

In the end its the kids who loose!

I was told you would have to file for Modification through a Post Decree Motion. There is an example of one at:

http://www.drcourt.org/postdecreemotion.PDF#search='post%20decree%20motion%20ohio'

However, you would have to take that form down to your local court to see how to modify it to fit their local rules.

Good luck.

Also ask them how many copies of the form you will need at filing. Usually you will need 5 or 6 copies.
They should walk you through the steps after filing to get a court date on the docket.

stealth2 said:

Has nothing to do with what was wanted or not - the experiences that you cite are purely anecdotal and a miniscule percentage of the cases that are heard every day. It doesn't help anyone when people perpetuate sterotypes.

Click to expand...

Off Topic and Totally Worthy of Re-iterating: Stealth2 writes" It doesnt help anyone when people perpetuate sterotypes...

Then replies to Terri7900 with "If your circle of friends primarily includes men who havebeen or will be screwed by their b*tchy women - you need new friends. Who have, like, somewhat normal adult relationships"

Too Funny!! How do you like your crow served Stealth2?

(QUOTE)If your circle of friends primarily includes men who havebeen or will be screwed by their b*tchy women - you need new friends. Who have, like, somewhat normal adult relationships(QUOTE) by Stealth.

I don't see stereotyping in this post Tayla.

Neither do I. <shrug>