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MY DAUGHTER WAS KILLED& MY GRANDDAUGHTER WAS TAKEN BY BIO-FATHER

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JessJaneMomAlws

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Colorado~~ :confused: PLEASE PLEASE HELP! MY ONLY DAUGHTER WAS KILLED!
THE ONLY GOOD I'VE FOUND FROM IT IS MY BEAUTIFUL GRAND~DAUGHTER; SHE IS THE ONLY REASON I GO ON! my Daughter was a single mom from the time of conception; 4 years basicly; she had filed for child support and had only rec. about 4-5 payments prior to her un-excepted death. At Her services the Bio-Father showed up from Texas. Him and everyone else apparently we're running to the courthouse, soical sevices, so forth and so on, NOT myself though; needless to say my grand~daughter was kiddnapped three times, total "koss" in her little life and all these nut heads causeing more. I JUST WANTED THE BEST FOR HER & I FELT THAT WOULD TAKE A LITTLE TIME TO FUGIVER OUT, i did though stand against her grand-father getting custody; he was never there for my daughter in 22years i don't see or feel he could of really been there for his grand-daughter just wanting $$. anyway custody was givien to her bio-father, whece had "NEVER BEEN IN HER LIFE" she didn't know anything of him or his family. he stayed in the area for couple of months after my daughter's death; then took off to Texas. not saying anything! i have resently been advied his girlfriend is leaving him & he doesn't want to be daddy 24/7. he is 30 yrs old & has had 4kids out of wedlock & has not ever taken respiablty untell my grand daughter about 6-9months; his mom took custody of 1 his kids from birth~till present 8yrs. but she don't know my grand~daughter either. my little baby just says she wants to go to my house. what do i do. " I LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH & I KNOW MY DAUGHTER WOULD'T WANT HER THERE!! PLEASE I CAN'T GO THROUGH ANYMORE HEART BRECK ANYMORE!!" :(
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Thing is - he IS her father and unless you can prove that he is completely unfit (not easy), he is going to get custody of the child.

I am sorry for your loss.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm nor sure what you have done, if and or when you consulted an attorney or just assumed you had no rights or options, but my suggestion is to contact an attorney, one specializing in custody and move away issues. I don't that since the bio dad was awarded custody of his child that you would win custody, but you should be able to get an order for visitation and possibly become the child's guardian if he isn't able to care for the child. You might also apply for a Guardian ad Litem to be assigned since so many people are fighting over the child. You will have to file in the court in Co unless the biodad had been in Texas longer than 6 months and already moved jurisdiction there, if so, then you would have to file there.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I too am sorry for your loss. However Stealth is correct. He is her father and unless he can be proven legally unfit he will retain custody. Even if he is proven legally unfit it appears that you have competition from other parties (grandparents) who would have equal legal standing.

Grandparent visitation cases are costly and difficult. If you choose to go that route I would strongly recommend that you file in Texas (if he is going to be living there) even if you could technically file in Colorado. There is a specific reason for that. Texas won't enforce a grandparent visitation order from another state unless its taken to court for domestication in Texas....which from my experience means basically trying the case all over again in Texas.

Therefore, you will reduce your legal costs if you just file in Texas in the first place....and if you win it will be enforceable right from the get-go.

However first, I would strongly recommend that you try to develop a relationship with the child's father. If you can maintain a relationship with your grandchild without taking it to court it would be much better in the long run.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Because the father went to the trouble to live in CO and establish residency there it is important to determine exactly which court has jurisdiction before filing any action rather than make assumptions as Ldij suggests, otherwise, if jurisdiction is CO and you file in TX then dad will simply fight it on the fact that the TX court doesn't have jurisdiction sending you back to CO.

Please don't make decisions based on Ldij suggestions, she has her own agenda, it will not save you time or money to file in TX if TX does not have jurisdiction. Considering the father and his family have little history with the child prior to the untimely death of the mother, it is possible the the maternal grandmother will be able to get visitation with the child, if she had a significant relationship with the child. To be successful in such an action will require an experienced and competent attorney in the appropriate jurisdiction.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Rmet is incorrect on this particular issue. Despite any laws that may be quoted it is very difficult to get a grandparent visitation order from one state enforced in another state. I know for a fact, based on actual experience, that Texas will not enforce another state's grandparent visitation orders without domestication. Therefore this case is going to eventually have to be heard in Texas, with all the attendent costs, whether its heard in Colorado first or not. If you file in CO you are going to spend money there, that you will have to turn around and spend again in TX.

The odds of dad trying to insist that the case be heard in CO are quite slim, and that is easily avoided by not filing in TX until he has been back there for six months.

I have watched grandparents follow parents from state to state to state spending money over and over and over again for no results, despite court orders. When its a dysfunctional grandparent, I have no particular sympathy for them. However in a case like yours, where the child is being separated from everything that they have known, I DO have sympathy. Please don't shoot your entire retirement savings the way some grandparents have.

Fight the case in the state that will need to enforce the case.
 

MinCA

Member
But can't thins grandmother file de facto or guardian ad litem since she is the relative the little girl knows? The father DID abandoned her. The person she is bonded to is the grandmother, and regardless of the father's "rights," what is best for the little girl is to be with the grandmother she knows, not the father who ran off and only came back during an already traumatic time and took her away from those she knew after losing her mother.

I don't care about the adult. What is best for the CHILD, to be taken away by a stranger or to be with the grandparent she knows and is bonded to?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
MinCA said:
But can't thins grandmother file de facto or guardian ad litem since she is the relative the little girl knows? The father DID abandoned her. The person she is bonded to is the grandmother, and regardless of the father's "rights," what is best for the little girl is to be with the grandmother she knows, not the father who ran off and only came back during an already traumatic time and took her away from those she knew after losing her mother.

I don't care about the adult. What is best for the CHILD, to be taken away by a stranger or to be with the grandparent she knows and is bonded to?
The father has constitutional rights, and those can't be trampled on even if it might be better for the child to be with her grandmother....not unless dad can be proven legally unfit. There are actually only a handful of states that recognize "defacto" parental status.
 

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