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Alimony and college education?

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What is the name of your state? Florida
I was married in 2000. We had our first and only child in 2003. No property. We made a family decision for me to stay at home with our son until 3 years old (as autism runs high on his side of family and we did not want him to have the mmr shot as a precaution) and I would return to school at that time and finish my degree in Accounting. In 2004 my husband received a large workman's comp settlement and decided he wanted a divorce and moved 2 hours away and left son in my care. My petition asked for alimony (bridge the gap, temporary), and husband's counter-petition asked for the same from me. My husband stated to me that my associates degree will guarantee him alimony (he has no college education). Is this correct?
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
"Rocky marriage the first three months of 2000" is totally irrelevant. You stayed around, and didn't have your baby until 2003.

If you have only been out of the workforce since 2003 (being this is early 2005), alimony is unlikely for you. If he does have the lesser earning capacity, alimony for him IS possible. You may wish to negotiate that neither pays the other.

What does your attorney say?
 
Husband just brought this subject up to me today. Can this (college education) be the absolute basis on me paying alimony to him, or are there other factors involved? I placed a call to my att., but have not heard back from him yet.
 
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nextwife said:
"Rocky marriage the first three months of 2000" is totally irrelevant. You stayed around, and didn't have your baby until 2003.

If you have only been out of the workforce since 2003 (being this is early 2005), alimony is unlikely for you. If he does have the lesser earning capacity, alimony for him IS possible. You may wish to negotiate that neither pays the other.

What does your attorney say?

One thing that I forgot about until this morning is that the Florida State Dept of Education (W/C Division) approved of a retraining program for my husband and will pay for his courses of study not to exceed 2 years. He decided not to pursue this. Will this have any bearing on his plight?
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Yes, the fact that he turned down a retraining opportunity through WC would be a factor, Florida is an equal distributition state so much of what you mentioned can be argued.

The issue of autism in his family is another issue that may not be resolved easily. Has your child been assessed by the department of developmental disabilities in your state? Is there any early intervention? If Mercury in immunizations were the cause of autism, countries like Japan which has a lot in the food chain would have higher rates of Autism than us. The genetic factors of Autism Spectrum disorders is the biggest factor although there may be others, such as dietary factors.
http://www5.myflorida.com/cf_web/myflorida2/healthhuman/ddp/about_us/overview_index.html
HIGH RISK OF DEVELOPING A DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY: It is not always easy to tell if a baby has a developmental disability. However, a child who does not crawl, walk, or talk at the same age as most other children may be considered a child with a developmental disability. In Florida, children from birth to five years of age who are at high risk of developing a developmental disability may receive services from the following agencies: The Department of Health, Division of Children’s Medical Services serves children from birth through three years of age. The Department of Children and Families, Developmental Disabilities Program serves children in the high risk category who are ages four and five.

Your previous posts indicate limited socialization for your son and that you have limited contact with the father because on personal issues. Does your husband have an Autism spectrum disorder such as HFA or Asperger's? If so, his WC claim and injury may turn into long term disability and possibly, SSDI. It is vitally important your child have opportunities for socialization. If your child is at risk, this may add to your claim for alimony, but you may also access appropriate services, please contact the DD department for assess ment and early intervention.
 
rmet4nzkx said:
Yes, the fact that he turned down a retraining opportunity through WC would be a factor, Florida is an equal distributition state so much of what you mentioned can be argued.

The issue of autism in his family is another issue that may not be resolved easily. Has your child been assessed by the department of developmental disabilities in your state? Is there any early intervention? If Mercury in immunizations were the cause of autism, countries like Japan which has a lot in the food chain would have higher rates of Autism than us. The genetic factors of Autism Spectrum disorders is the biggest factor although there may be others, such as dietary factors.
http://www5.myflorida.com/cf_web/myflorida2/healthhuman/ddp/about_us/overview_index.html
HIGH RISK OF DEVELOPING A DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY: It is not always easy to tell if a baby has a developmental disability. However, a child who does not crawl, walk, or talk at the same age as most other children may be considered a child with a developmental disability. In Florida, children from birth to five years of age who are at high risk of developing a developmental disability may receive services from the following agencies: The Department of Health, Division of Children’s Medical Services serves children from birth through three years of age. The Department of Children and Families, Developmental Disabilities Program serves children in the high risk category who are ages four and five.

Your previous posts indicate limited socialization for your son and that you have limited contact with the father because on personal issues. Does your husband have an Autism spectrum disorder such as HFA or Asperger's? If so, his WC claim and injury may turn into long term disability and possibly, SSDI. It is vitally important your child have opportunities for socialization. If your child is at risk, this may add to your claim for alimony, but you may also access appropriate services, please contact the DD department for assess ment and early intervention.
Fortunately, my son began talking at 10 mos and walked at the same time. When we are out and about, my son is a social butterfly, loves other children and adults. He has no signs of this disorder at all, but that was the basis of our decision from the start. My husband's father works with educating Autistic children and he was the one who was adamant about my son not having the MMR shot based on his education with this matter and the fact that 2 of his grandson's do have PDD and Celiac Disease (wheat-gluten allergy) and his youngest son has certain criteria that meets a low level dx.. My husband does have trouble in social interaction (personal observation), but nothing has been diagnosed.
 
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VeronicaGia

Senior Member
huntersmommy06 said:
What is the name of your state? Florida
I was married in 2000. We had our first and only child in 2003. No property. We made a family decision for me to stay at home with our son until 3 years old (as autism runs high on his side of family and we did not want him to have the mmr shot as a precaution) and I would return to school at that time and finish my degree in Accounting. In 2004 my husband received a large workman's comp settlement and decided he wanted a divorce and moved 2 hours away and left son in my care. My petition asked for alimony (bridge the gap, temporary), and husband's counter-petition asked for the same from me. My husband stated to me that my associates degree will guarantee him alimony (he has no college education). Is this correct?
Your marriage is a short one. You should both forget the alimony.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I have seen cases where an agreement between spouses, that the other would either go to college or finish college after being a stay at home parent for a period of time, has resulted in alimony. However with your marriage being so short that may not work in your case. Since it appears that you will have custody of the child there will be child support. If he gets on SSDI your child would also be entitled to separate benefits.

No, your associates degree would certainly NOT be a basis for him collecting alimony from you.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
huntersmommy06 said:
Fortunately, my son began talking at 10 mos and walked at the same time. When we are out and about, my son is a social butterfly, loves other children and adults. He has no signs of this disorder at all, but that was the basis of our decision from the start. My husband's father works with educating Autistic children and he was the one who was adamant about my son not having the MMR shot based on his education with this matter and the fact that 2 of his grandson's do have PDD and Celiac Disease (wheat-gluten allergy) and his youngest son has certain criteria that meets a low level dx.. My husband does have trouble in social interaction (personal observation), but nothing has been diagnosed.
Neuroscience is my field.
You mention the two high risk factors, genetics and food. There are ways to get around MMR and still attend school and pre school.
PDD is usually changed to Asperger's as the child is older.
With Asperger's, HFA and PDD the 1st 3 years are normal and may include early speech development and precociousness. Being a social butterfly is entirely possible with Asperger's which is found in children with normal to high IQ and they are highly verbal.
Please get your child assessed especially if your are going through a divorce so as to have as many supportive services available also it may impact your divorce settlement.
Did his family know this information and not disclose it prior to marriage?
 
rmet4nzkx said:
Neuroscience is my field.
You mention the two high risk factors, genetics and food. There are ways to get around MMR and still attend school and pre school.
PDD is usually changed to Asperger's as the child is older.
With Asperger's, HFA and PDD the 1st 3 years are normal and may include early speech development and precociousness. Being a social butterfly is entirely possible with Asperger's which is found in children with normal to high IQ and they are highly verbal.
Please get your child assessed especially if your are going through a divorce so as to have as many supportive services available also it may impact your divorce settlement.
Did his family know this information and not disclose it prior to marriage?
I was aware of the fact that all 4 of my spouses siblings were homeschooled, however, I was unaware of the fact that it had to do with the MMR shot until my sister-in-law's 2 boys were dx.'d with PDD and Celiac (they are 3 and 18 mos.).

My son's pediatrician is one of those reluctant to order testing unless there are signs. My son already speaks 3-4 word sentences and has been way above the norm in his developments. What type of specialist would I need to see in order to have those tests done?
 

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