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need some advice pertaining to leaving spouse

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justagirl82

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Texas.

I have been married to a US citizen since early 2001. Right now it's been about 4 months since I got my receipt from filing the I-751 form to remove conditions on my permanent residence (we hadn't been married the required amount of time when I applied for my Greencard the first time). Anyhow, things in the marriage aren't working out and I want to leave and file for custody of our little girl (she's nearing 3yrs). I'm scared to leave without having my Greencard, though. What can he do to me if I leave? He has in a previous fight threatened that if I left he would make sure I got deported and that I'd never see our daughter again :( I don't think he could do anything to me, right? But I'm scared to leave without knowing for sure. I expect the Greencard to come within the next 2 months, but I don't know how much more I can take in this marriage.

If you need any more info just ask.

Thanks for your time.
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover

She said it’s really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS:
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

CHORUS
 

evcalyptos

Senior Member
justagirl82 said:
What is the name of your state? Texas.

I have been married to a US citizen since early 2001. Right now it's been about 4 months since I got my receipt from filing the I-751 form to remove conditions on my permanent residence (we hadn't been married the required amount of time when I applied for my Greencard the first time). Anyhow, things in the marriage aren't working out and I want to leave and file for custody of our little girl (she's nearing 3yrs). I'm scared to leave without having my Greencard, though. What can he do to me if I leave? He has in a previous fight threatened that if I left he would make sure I got deported and that I'd never see our daughter again :( I don't think he could do anything to me, right? But I'm scared to leave without knowing for sure. I expect the Greencard to come within the next 2 months, but I don't know how much more I can take in this marriage.

If you need any more info just ask.

Thanks for your time.
I guess you'll find out just how much more you can take. If you divorce before your I-751 is decided, you will have to re-file it with a waiver.
http://uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/remcond.htm

I don't know why you think your I-751 is only 2 months off. Typically, they take 1 year+ to be decided. I have not read of any Texas cases that got through in 6 months. You may also be called for a joint interview for this application.

There are also serious issues regarding custody. You are not allowed to remove his child just becasue you're sick of him. I don't believe that he can influence a deportation in your case, but you are in limbo while you wait on the I-751. If you remain married, you can still file for naturalization (N-400) on schedule, which is 3 years minus 90 days from your PR anniversary (not wedding anniv).
 

justagirl82

Junior Member
Thanks, evcalyptos.

When I was filing my I-751 I had requested to speak to an information officer since the people answering the 1-800 # kept giving incorrect information out (which resulted in me travelling to my nearest office and waiting for 7 hours only to be told I didn't need to be there and that I just need to mail in the form :mad: ) The information officer spoke to me for a while and asked me some questions and then said my case shouldn't take the whole year and that she'd be surprised if it took 6 months - then again, maybe she was wrong, too. She also said she doubted they'd request an interview.

I hate being in this state of limbo.


There are also serious issues regarding custody. You are not allowed to remove his child just becasue you're sick of him.
Have thought about seeing if I could take her back home with me but from what I've read, moving internationally with a child without agreement from the other parent is next to impossible. Kinda already knew that, but can't help but to dream... KWIM?

Just upset because I'm half a world away from my family and friends and the marriage isn't working and now I find myself stuck. I have tried to work out things with him but I just give up, he isn't going to change. :mad: There's no physical abuse - but a hell of a lot of verbal & emotional abuse. I'm not going to sit around and just keep taking it. Also can't raise our daughter in a home where her mother and father are constantly fighting. It's not a good situation.

So, I guess I just have to wait on the GC. And in the meantime try to hold on to sanity.
 

evcalyptos

Senior Member
justagirl82 said:
Just upset because I'm half a world away from my family and friends and the marriage isn't working and now I find myself stuck. I have tried to work out things with him but I just give up, he isn't going to change. :mad: There's no physical abuse - but a hell of a lot of verbal & emotional abuse. I'm not going to sit around and just keep taking it. Also can't raise our daughter in a home where her mother and father are constantly fighting. It's not a good situation.

So, I guess I just have to wait on the GC. And in the meantime try to hold on to sanity.
It sounds like it all sucks, and I don't envy the position you're in.
Presumably you are familiar with the concept, if not all the ins and outs, of petitioning yourself for the I-751 (via waiver). Look up 'how do I' at uscis.gov and there is a lot of detail about removing conditions, including waivers.
A consultation with a lawyer familiar with VAWA cases might be in order. At least to find out if you can at minimum move to somewhere safer for you and the child. There are a couple of VAWA cases posting at the marriage-based immigration forum at britishexpats.com Sounds like you are going to need a family lawyer for the divorce/custody as well.

Back to your original post: he can't get you deported. Gather your own copies of all your immigration paperwork and store them somewhere safe, outside the home. Gather and save all evidence of you entering this marriage in good faith and any evidence of a co-mingled marital life. Get some of your own money set up in an account that he doesn't know about. Look after your own interests and don't worry about him. Do what you're doing by reading online and learning about your rights; he is trading on your lack of knowledge (believe me, I'll bet he doesn't know much) and using it to keep you under his thumb.

Find Catholic Charities for your area (you don't need to be Catholic) and pursue their low/no cost immigration assistance. USCIS also offers this: http://uscis.gov/graphics/lawsregs/advice.htm
Speak to a local women's shelter about strategies for leaving and legal assistance with the custody.

And then, buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Hopefully the destination will be peaceful :)
 

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