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What rights do my in laws have?????

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sallylindey

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

I am currently going through a divorce. My spouse and I have one child 2 years old. In the beginning of the separation, my in laws told me that they would always keep in contact with me no matter what as I am the mother of their grandchild. Since the birth of our child to present I send pictures, letters, videos, etc…. to my spouse’s parents on a weekly basis to keep them up to date of their grandchild. They live 1000 miles away and have only seen their grandson 3 times since he was born. In January, I did file for divorce and now they want absolutely nothing to do with me. They don’t answer my calls nor return messages, letters go unanswered (you get the idea). My husband stated that they never want to talk to me again because I put an “attack” on their son when I filed for divorce instead of signing the papers that he wanted drawn up.

Emotions aside now, they are coming for a visit to Florida in July for one week. My husband cannot get off of work during this time. Am I the required to sit in a room with these people who obviously have animosity towards me, to have my son visit with them (we all are aware that children, even toddlers, sense tension)? I do not feel comfortable leaving my son alone with them as he doesn’t even know them. What are their rights at this point?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
sallylindey said:
What is the name of your state? Florida

I am currently going through a divorce. My spouse and I have one child 2 years old. In the beginning of the separation, my in laws told me that they would always keep in contact with me no matter what as I am the mother of their grandchild. Since the birth of our child to present I send pictures, letters, videos, etc…. to my spouse’s parents on a weekly basis to keep them up to date of their grandchild. They live 1000 miles away and have only seen their grandson 3 times since he was born. In January, I did file for divorce and now they want absolutely nothing to do with me. They don’t answer my calls nor return messages, letters go unanswered (you get the idea). My husband stated that they never want to talk to me again because I put an “attack” on their son when I filed for divorce instead of signing the papers that he wanted drawn up.

Emotions aside now, they are coming for a visit to Florida in July for one week. My husband cannot get off of work during this time. Am I the required to sit in a room with these people who obviously have animosity towards me, to have my son visit with them (we all are aware that children, even toddlers, sense tension)? I do not feel comfortable leaving my son alone with them as he doesn’t even know them. What are their rights at this point?
They have no rights at all. If dad wants to allow them to visit with the child during his parenting time, then thats HIS right. Unfortunately though you may have no choice about them being alone with the child. If your husband asks the judge to award him that week as part of his parenting time the judge is likely to give it to him....specifically BECAUSE the grandparents would be visiting.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Until and unless there is a visitation agreement signed by a judge they have no rights at all. Since you just filed I doubt seriously if there is one in place so, the first thing to do is answer that question.

If you have no visitation agreement, then tell the grandparents to suck wind.
 

sallylindey

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
They have no rights at all. If dad wants to allow them to visit with the child during his parenting time, then thats HIS right. Unfortunately though you may have no choice about them being alone with the child. If your husband asks the judge to award him that week as part of his parenting time the judge is likely to give it to him....specifically BECAUSE the grandparents would be visiting.
At this time my husband only sees our son on the weekends due to the fact that he has moved two hours away. Due to the backed up courts, my case probably won't be heard until August 2005. Is it typical for a judge to allow the alone time even though they have no bond with our son? They will be staying with relatives 2 hours away from me and 4 hours away from my husband. Does that even matter?
 
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rm1759

Member
As posted previously, you do not have to allow them to visit your son. In Florida especially, grandparents have no rights. Dad can allow them to visit during his time with the child, and during that time he would decide whether they were alone with your son or not. You are under no legal obligation to let them visit during your time with your child.
 

sallylindey

Junior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
If you have no visitation agreement, then tell the grandparents to suck wind.
Oooooooh I like that one, can I quote you? I know anything is possible, however, how likely is a judge to order visitation on my parenting time?
 

sallylindey

Junior Member
rm1759 said:
As posted previously, you do not have to allow them to visit your son. In Florida especially, grandparents have no rights. Dad can allow them to visit during his time with the child, and during that time he would decide whether they were alone with your son or not. You are under no legal obligation to let them visit during your time with your child.
I definately want my son to get to know his grandparents, he is a part of them, and I don't have ANY problems with their visits during my husband's time. I just don't feel it will be healthy for me to sit there with them and my husband is now saying it is MY obligation to do so. I feel I have made great efforts for them already (I will continue to do so with pictures, etc...) and how they are treating me is a slap in the face!
 
B

bradybunchmom

Guest
see the kids on dads time

tell the grandparents they can see the child on the fathers time,and you are not obligated to give them more time.theyll be lucky to see the kid at all,with their smart ass attitude.if they dont like it,tough ****
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Seriously, in Florida grandparents have no rights at all when it comes to visitation. It will be up to dad to provide visitation during his parenting time.
 
sallylindey said:
I definately want my son to get to know his grandparents, he is a part of them, and I don't have ANY problems with their visits during my husband's time. I just don't feel it will be healthy for me to sit there with them and my husband is now saying it is MY obligation to do so. I feel I have made great efforts for them already (I will continue to do so with pictures, etc...) and how they are treating me is a slap in the face!
You have been given the correct legal answers, you are not obligated to let the grandparents see their grandchild. Normally, I wouldn't even comment, but this just gets to me. They live 1000 miles away, how many opportunities are they going to have to physically see him? Yes, you deserve a pat on the back for sending pictures--but now, you're going to get even for what you perceive as "the slap in the face", aren't you? And, aggravate your STBX at the same time, what a deal!
Agreed, I wouldn't sit in a room with people I wasn't on good terms with either. (wow, what a big surprise--parents taking their own child's side!!) Who says you have to? They want to see their grandchild, not you. What is the big deal if they have him for a couple of days? Do you have any reason to doubt they would take care of him?? Are you afraid they will abscond w/him? Your posts don't seem to indicate problems of that sort. Which means this is about how you feel, not what is good or not good for your child. Maybe I just can't see it, what is the problem?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
IrishLady47 said:
You have been given the correct legal answers, you are not obligated to let the grandparents see their grandchild. Normally, I wouldn't even comment, but this just gets to me. They live 1000 miles away, how many opportunities are they going to have to physically see him? Yes, you deserve a pat on the back for sending pictures--but now, you're going to get even for what you perceive as "the slap in the face", aren't you? And, aggravate your STBX at the same time, what a deal!
Agreed, I wouldn't sit in a room with people I wasn't on good terms with either. (wow, what a big surprise--parents taking their own child's side!!) Who says you have to? They want to see their grandchild, not you. What is the big deal if they have him for a couple of days? Do you have any reason to doubt they would take care of him?? Are you afraid they will abscond w/him? Your posts don't seem to indicate problems of that sort. Which means this is about how you feel, not what is good or not good for your child. Maybe I just can't see it, what is the problem?
The child is two. The grandparents have only seen him three times since he was born therefore they are not familiar to him. Sending him off with them for a couple of days wouldn't typically be the normal thing to do....and could be really confusing for the child. However spending time with the child, while their own son is also visiting with them would be totally normal.
 
LdiJ said:
The child is two. The grandparents have only seen him three times since he was born therefore they are not familiar to him. Sending him off with them for a couple of days wouldn't typically be the normal thing to do....and could be really confusing for the child. However spending time with the child, while their own son is also visiting with them would be totally normal.
The only people a two year will be "familiar" with are people seen on a daily or close to daily basis. I've known soldiers coming back from just a 3 month deployment whose chldren that age don't remember them. The kids are a little shy at first, but warm right up w/love & affection from the adult. This child is not going to recognize the grandparents whether the Dad or Mom is there with them or not. The question is whether GP are competent to care for him & will treat him with love & affection. They live 1000 miles away, how many opportunties will they have? I still think this isn't about the child, Mom is getting even or just entirely too possessive. She's not leaving their son with two strangers off the streets--these people are the Dad's parents. The child is two, even if he spends a few days w/GPs, a month later he still won't remember them and to suggest it could be damaging, it simply bulls**t.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
IrishLady47 said:
The only people a two year will be "familiar" with are people seen on a daily or close to daily basis. I've known soldiers coming back from just a 3 month deployment whose chldren that age don't remember them. The kids are a little shy at first, but warm right up w/love & affection from the adult. This child is not going to recognize the grandparents whether the Dad or Mom is there with them or not. The question is whether GP are competent to care for him & will treat him with love & affection. They live 1000 miles away, how many opportunties will they have? I still think this isn't about the child, Mom is getting even or just entirely too possessive. She's not leaving their son with two strangers off the streets--these people are the Dad's parents. The child is two, even if he spends a few days w/GPs, a month later he still won't remember them and to suggest it could be damaging, it simply bulls**t.
Whether or not the child could handle a visit like that depends entirely on the child. My niece knew me well and loved to spend time with me but still couldn't handle visiting overnight even at 4. Not all children handle things the same....particularly when there is a divorce going on. The child already has lost daily contact with daddy....if mommy were to also disappear it could be EXTREMELY confusing.
 

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