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Gr.parents rights & visitation, gr.childrens crys going unheard

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WhereIsJustice

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Involves 2 states-MT & Wash.St.

My husband, & 3 sons moved to my home state MT. 10 yrs. ago. Each son married a female from there, & had children. These gr.babys from day1 of even pregnancy, as gr.parents & mother/father in law, we have been more then active in the babys lives, as we have been always helping out the parents.

We bought everyting for the gr.kids, seeing to thier needs. Several times it is documented at the welfare office, we had the gr.kids for up to7 months at a time, as the parents felt they couldn't care for them. Also many times of the parents w/the babys living w/us.These children now ages 7,6,& 4 are tramatized from being used as pawns in now a seperation, & a life of fighting as they watch thier parents. The eldest even told me via phone recently, "Mommy hates daddy, I love daddy, Mommy doesn't like taking care of us". :eek: He says he stands between them as they fight, trying to stop them, I suggested to him to take the brother & sister & go to a rm. away from ommmy & daddy, & let them argue. maybe sing, play games, mommy & daddys argueing will only hurt him, & they will always argue anyway..assuring him I was aware & things will get better. gr.ma & gr.pa loved them & somehow would make them safe again. (he cryed before he hung up, saying he is wetting the bed again, I told him it was ok, we would work it out, it wasn't his fault.) He also bites his nails until they bleed..showing me much trauma to this child & his welfare is holding by a thread, as I only can feel it is effecting the others the same, if not worse. I can't get an official to get out there, to see really how the kids are fairing.

They have begged me to tell them how they can reach me, I wasn't then aware of something going on, a divorce/seperation.I just told them to ask thier parents, & they could call me anytime. Not knowing thier parents were too busy in another world, as the kids were suffering begging for help. While I was busy burying my daughter & caring for her 10 yr. old son she left behind here, I was being decieved & didn't see it coming.

I did contact cps in MT, they did say it would be confidential, but turned around & told the parents we made a complaint. So much for cps :mad: .The mom is well known for being unfit, negligent, seeing other men, & using drugs, the father loves the kids,w/help could be a great father, but is using drugs & is not having the best interest of the children as a priority.

Enough of the background of the problem. Except all legal workis being done by my other daughter in law, my son says, & after they agree & sign, they have it notorized. Can this hold up in court?? They are going for shared custody, but son says mother is almost ready to give him full custody..tomorrow the wind could blow a differant way, my only concern is the well being of our gr.children.

Our question:
What are our rights? How do we help our gr.children stop suffering? Can we intervien & if so, how?
Where do we go, or do to protect them? Help them? We love these gr.babys, & they love us, we are thier only gr.parents & have always been there until 1 yr. ago, when we had to relocate to Wash.because of the death of our only daughter, being mislead as were the gr.kids, that soon they would be joining us here & re-uniting as a family.Now we know they aren't coming, it has torn the gr.kids up, as well as our lives. Our gr.kids are like gold to us. To them, we are the only stability they have known & happiness.

:confused: What are the laws in MT. about gr.parents rights? Also Wash? Where do we go from here? We are our gr.babys voices now. Their crys can't go un-heard.We do fear greatly for thier well being. To a child, a day of what they are going through, is a very long time. I know they are in bad shape, thisisn't the 1st time, only 1st time I haven't been there to pick up the pieces.My daughter in law is using us being in Wash. toher benifit, thinking we can't help the kids..is this true?? :eek:
Help? Also, sorry for length. :eek:

P.S. The mother will not reply back to us, about letting us talk to the gr.kids via the phone. My son says she better, but you can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink..right? :( Can she stop us from talking or seeing the kids? Doesn't us being care givers for most of thier lives mean anything re-the laws? Would love some type of response, if you can help.

Thank you for listening. :)
 


WhereIsJustice

Junior Member
:) Thank you so much! I don't care if your a attn. or not.

I have found sometimes they aren't all that helpful anyway..cept for opening thier pocket book to add your check :p . ( Not all, but many..so please no one take effense who is a attn.) A little bit of laughter in the midst of a storm, is a good thing for everyone.

I can't thank you enough, I'm so grateful for any help. God bless you for caring, & wanting our tiny ones to be safe too. :eek:

Hugsssss...from us, & our gr.children.

I'll up-date to you soon as I get them safe, or even if I can't.
Your very special to help a stranger, hands touching hands via the pc, is like a silent prayer. Your a God send.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
I'm sorry for your loss of your daughter, if she was 26 when she died and left a 10 yo son, she was still a child when she gave birth herself. You are guardian for that child even being addicted to morphine? That may be why CPS acted as they did when you called. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=228371 because you come across as not competent in your communications. You don't seem able to follow simple advice and lash out at those who try to help you. Closing the other thread because you didn't like being told how and where to file a suit or to get counseling is biting off your nose to spite your face. Let your grown children handle their own affairs, if they are in danger let their other parent call CPS or ask to have a Guardian ad Litem appointed by the courts to represent the children's interests. This is something that costs money. Your interference may be making their divorce more difficult and more complex. Right now, your rights as a grand parent will be related to what your son allows on his itme. THE COURT IS NOT GOING TO GRANT YOU CUSTODY OR GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS IF YOU ARE NOT COMPETENT OR ADDICTED TO MORPHINE. You may lose the child you are caring for currently if you continue to interfere and draw attention to yourself.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I'll admit to being more than a little confused after having read the other thread over at MedMal. The children are now 7, 6 & 4. You say that you and grandpa have had the children living with you up to 7 mos at a time. In addition to raising a 10yo granddaughter. Yet you say in your other thread that you have been (essentially) crippled and bedridden for 4 years. Something just doesn't add up - could you please clarify?
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
I'll admit to being more than a little confused after having read the other thread over at MedMal. The children are now 7, 6 & 4. You say that you and grandpa have had the children living with you up to 7 mos at a time. In addition to raising a 10yo granddaughter. Yet you say in your other thread that you have been (essentially) crippled and bedridden for 4 years. Something just doesn't add up - could you please clarify?
Stealth,
You are not confused.

I originally didn't respond to this thread because of her confused ramblings on the other forums, here is her other thread https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=228377 Her clarity seems to be linked to her medications and if she continues as she has will lose that one grandchild she currently has rather than gaining grandparents rights and I am not one to use absolutes as you well know.
 

WhereIsJustice

Junior Member
Stealth...

I have just been able to get into the forum, it appears I was blocked from coming in, & am using my husbands pc now to answer.

1st, Let's began where metz placed my other forum, which she made publiclly so easy by placing a link. Where I was asking for advise re-a Dr. who made a mistake doing a surgery that wasn't needed, leading to complications for 4 yrs. Reason it may not make sense, is I was new, nervous, & in pain. I came here to ask for medical legal advise. metz kept trying to belittle me, so I closed that forum, I knew I was only getting hurt, & not getting any advise. But I was elsewhere getting some help, like in this forum, re-my gr.childrens safety.

The 10yr. old is a boy, not a girl. Yes, I have wittness's to the fact even in my poor health, my husband, & w/the help of my family, did care for those children, & did a wonderful job according to welfare & all who seen them. Even though I am very ill, my gr.children come before anything when they need me. Even if it means placing a blown up mattress on the living rm. floor & watching a movie, or playing games w/them..as thier gr.pa or another family member feeds, cleans, & helps me do other things I have problems doing for now, until my long awaited surgery..which has been scheduled after 4 yrs. for april. Ask any mother, or gr.mother, we find ways around illness, or ourselves, to care for those we love.( Even if it cost us.)

I am not addicted to morphine, I feared being addicted. If you read the link so nicely placed for all to see..which I don't mind at all, I have nothing to hide. I just find very childish of metz, & makes me wonder about her even more..
I didn't want to take medications, I was up-set they had me for 4 yrs. on medications. Is metz using this against me? Does this make me a incomputant person? If so..you all are, or have been at 1 point in your lives. If you haven't had to have surgery, or needed any pain meds..thank God!

metz4 following me around, and harrassing/attacking me, is why I closed the other forum, which has nothing to do w/this 1.(which I found out metz hates not having the last word, reason she came here & added the link, & further attacked me) I was asking for medical legal advise, but it became a little kids mud slinging contest from a person who is to be advisable, & professional. Even as they knew I couldn't get into this forum, they took advantage of that, & kept slamming me. Enough of this metz. Do not tell others things that are not true, you don't even know me. But, you do have issues. I am very computant, I have not only professionals who would argue that in court w/you, but also the federal government, who observed as I & my husband did take care of those children.Let alone family/friends who are very up-set by what you have said here in this site.

Metz, you are border line on a lawsuit yourself. You had no bussiness talking about my daughter who recently passed on that way. She was not an issue in this forum, ( as for your information, she was 17, died 1 month short of her 27th birthday.) Which is none of your bussiness. Calling me names, belittling me, will do no good. I don't know what your problem is, but leave me alone. I was actually getting some good advice, but you keep stalking me, following me from 1 forum to another, trying to belittle who I am, & my efforts for advise. As you block me from answering or defending on my behalf.

I advise who ever owns this site, to deeply look into all the comments metz has made not only to me, but to many others.This person is jeoperdizing your site, & if this person says 1 more thing to further belittle, hurt, or harm my family & reputation in such a public manner, this will become a legal matter.

My advice to all who enter this site, is turn around, & go else where. I came here to ask for help/advise, & 1 person who has deep issues, made my life a living hell. If this happened to me, it can happen to you. How would you feel, if this person blocked you from entering this site, then sat around on the pc, & made such unbelivable remarks about your character, abilities as a human being, & told lie after lie, even attacking your dead child..knowing what others didn't know, they had blocked you from even defending yourself, saying as others wondered where you were..what was going on, you were a addict, blubbering off somewhere..actually a idiot who shouldn't even be listened to, because she is so incomputant. She doesn't know what she is talking about?

What goes around, comes around metz. If I was you , I wouldn't even come near me again. Never slander my name, or character again, never talk about anyone child or family member like you did about my daughters again. It is not only a sin against God, it is immoral as a human being. Spend some time protecting your soul, get some rest, & possibly some professional help for your self, you definately have issues. I once suggested "anger management" after you attacked me once. You are a very angery person, who needs to be in control.

Thank you Stealth for trying to help, sorry for the confusion,. I am awaiting surgery for a intestinal surgery I never needed, that went wrong. I was asking for legal advise re-it when I had my 1st incounter w/metz. as you can see, that forum was going no where, & I couldn't answer you, because metz had me blocked from the site as I can see she has been busy...further.

I was fine until 4 yrs. ago Stealth, meanwhile, my family, mostly my husband & I, have been able to take care of our gr.kids, as well as our sons when they are in need. I am in serious condition, but we are praying in april, to have the surgery I have been long awaiting for. Meanwhile, as for metz, I have been on my own free will even though I suffer, been taking myself off all medications. Unlike you, I think before I "jump."

I like my liver, kidneys, & being able to function maybe not very well right now physically, but mentally to be there for my family , as well as for myself. You never know who will be lurking, to attack you. Or out there, discrediting you publically, as you can't defend yourself, because they made it impossible, & knowing this, even used that against you..as others had no idea. Shame on you metz.

Enough of this. Now you all know why I never answered. Now you know what is REALLY going on.

This site has a person who can do the same to you. How would you feel? What would you do? You came here hurting, suffering, seeking help & advise from what you thought was a perfessional. Instead, you further got hurt, & wounds ready to heal, broken open & salt poured into them. Not even taking in the issues at hand..this was a personal attack. Why? I don't know, but I will never come here again & I feel so sorry for any that do.

Don't think you can bad mouth me once I have left metz, you have gone too far as it is. My family, friends, & a attn. I decided was needed at this point, will be checking in to see if you are back to attacking, belittling, & threatening me again, or any of my family. I'm walking away, as I have been trying to do w/you from the 1st day you insulted me, instead of advise me. I ask you to do the same.

Thank you to those who did help me in this site, I am sorry this became such a huge issue...I never thought this person, who is part of this site..would take it so far, & twist it so badly. Just when you think you have seen it all, heard it all..you always are left in awe...

P.S. I am closing this forum too metz, there is no reason for it to remain open. You have damaged the last medical one, now this 1..if you decide to go any further, say 1 more thing against me/my family. It will become a real legal problem. God be w/all who come here, & you metz, I hope & pray someday you realize what you have done.
 
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