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military soldier (spouse)

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mostimportantly

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Kansas

I've got a huge problem. My husband is a soldier, right now we are separeated. He contacted a lawyer about our divorce but he was told it would be atleast $1500 because we have a child. I love this man and I know that will be my weekness in the long run.

My question is this: I've contacted a non-profit organization to help me with the divorce because I've had it with him. He wants a divorce but he wants me to pay for it. Since I have no money am seeking a non-profit organizations. Well to the point...........Am I entitled to any benefits? What about child support? What about my last name? Will my child and I have a different name after the divorce? What about alimony? We've been married for 3 years now he's served overseas and I've been by his side.

I am blinded with despair, please help me, guided me. :confused:
 


Silverplum

Senior Member
mostimportantly said:
My question is this: I've contacted a non-profit organization to help me with the divorce because I've had it with him. He wants a divorce but he wants me to pay for it. Since I have no money am seeking a non-profit organizations. Well to the point...........Am I entitled to any benefits? What about child support? What about my last name? Will my child and I have a different name after the divorce? What about alimony? We've been married for 3 years now he's served overseas and I've been by his side.
I am blinded with despair, please help me, guided me. :confused:
I don't know if you are entitled to any/many benefits after divorcing a military member. You can change or keep your name as you wish. You probably don't qualify for alimony with such a short-term marriage. If you obtain custody, you will receive child support, but you are expected to support yourself and your child. The child support is for the noncustodial parent's share of basic expenses.

Here's two websites that can help you:

https://www.jagcnet.army.mil/Legal

http://www.kscourts.org/ctruls/csintro.htm
 

mrsbrown

Member
Is he still overseas? The only reason I ask is because when my husband (who was until recently in the military) was trying to divorce his now ex-wife the military told him that it would have to wait until he was back in the US. Until then he had to provide for them.
 

mrsbrown

Member
KS is nonalimony?

Also, I am from Kansas and that is where my husbands divorce took place. He does not have to pay alimony and was told that Kansas does not inforce alimony.
 

mostimportantly

Junior Member
He's not overseas. I have contacted the websites.

However when I contacted the corresponding JAG office. They tell me something different. Keep in mind my husband has friends all over the military post including the JAG office. I've tried before to get help but I've been given the runaround. As I got off the phone with them minutes ago. They told me, they can send me to another base to get legal assistance? :confused:


I understand child support is for his half of basic expenses. but at this moment he is not paying anything.

I just want to inform myself. To better prepare myself incase we do end up in court.
 

mrsbrown

Member
My husband said that because children were involved in his divorce JAG was not able to help. This was at Fort Riley. He ended up getting a lawyer thru Kansas Legal Services and the entire divorce cost around 500.00. Until the divorce is final your husband will have to provide for you and the family. I think that is what JAG told him. That even though he wanted to seperate he had to support his ex (even though she was not helping with the kids). So basically until the divorce was final she got to live with him on base. I am pretty sure JAG won't be able to help you since kids are involved. I would contact Kansas Legal Services for a lawyer. And here is the information he used to compute what amount of child support she would be paying:

http://www.kscourts.org/ctruls/csintro.htm

You can read thru the worksheets and plug in the appropriate amounts. This will give you a idea on the amount you may receive.

This is another helpful site:

http://www.srskansas.org/cse/cse.htm

Hope it helps.
 

mrsbrown

Member
I do know that you can complain that he is not supporting you since you are still married. I am not sure if this is with JAG or with his superiors. Might want to call around and see. I would call JAG and ask how you file a complaint on a soldier not supporting his family. Just a idea. I am definately not a lawyer....just heard similar stories from my husbands experience.
 

ablessin

Member
I had a friend go thru a similar situation - she had a huge run-around with the military and getting him to send her money to support her while he was overseas. She had a child, but not his, so that didn't "count" - but he did wind up giving her some money (maybe a thousand) - I don't know who paid the divorce, but I remember that they had a tough time filing because they were married in her home state (his too) but since he was overseas they kept telling her she either had to wait for him to come back, or he had to start the divorce proceedings over there (which he refused to do)... she I think filed for divorce under abondonment ............. it was quite sticky.

You will definately get child support, alimony - probably not.

Contact a good lawyer soon so that you don't lose out on any opportunity you may have coming to you!!!
 

peaceatlast

Junior Member
see the commander first!

Regardless of where your spouse is stationed, he has a commander. That is the first person you should see and do it immediately. Whether or not your husband has friends in high places, no commander is going to ignore a complaint about one of his troops. You need to let him know that your spouse is not supporting you or your child. He WILL make certain that changes. The military will deal swiftly with any soldier, sailor or airman that is causing problems for the spouse or children.

Your child will be entitled to post/base benefits until the age of 18 or 21 if still in school. Until your child reaches the age of majority, you will also be entitled to those same benefits. In other words, you will both have ID cards for commisary, px/bx, medical, etc.

Child support WILL be ordered. Support or maintenance is dependant on the state in which the divorce/dissolution is filed and finalized.

Should your spouse fail to meet his obligations, present a copy of the final decree to the office of pay and finance. They will automatically deduct your court ordered monies to be deducted from his pay and sent directly to you.

Most important, do not panic. Look around for a good attorney. You will be able to find an attorney who will work hard for you and ask that his fees be paid by your spouse. You may have to spend time to find that person but they are out there.

The military takes an extremely dim view of those individuals who neglect their family. They have procedures for this to include possible reduction in rank, potential time in the brig, loss of pay and other "enticements".

Hang in there and just take it one step at a time. But do go and talk to his commander at the earliest possible time. :eek:
 

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