shellnotalawyer
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MI
I recently posted on the Child Custody forum regarding what would happen to my son in the event of my death. I was advised that unless my husband adopts him, his biological father could get custody of him. My husband and I have discussed at length the possibility of him adopting "our" son. He has been my son's "dad" since he was 2 (he is now 12). We moved to MI when my son was 3 from SD, where the bio-dad still resides. The bio-dad has a minimal role in my son's life. Pays $100 in CS, which was the minimum 12 years ago when my son was born as at the time, bio-dad was unemployed. He has never contributed financially beyond the $100/month. Nothing. He is court-ordered to provide insurance but never has. My husband has always provided this and everything else. Bio-dad's name is on the birth certificate and my son carries his last name. Bio-dad calls 3-4 times a year and the calls have never lasted beyond 5 minutes. Honestly. The main issue is who will raise my son should something happen to me or to both me and my husband. If I die, I want my son to stay with my husband and our other son. We are a family and the bio-dad is a stranger to my son. OK, I think you get the background. At this point, after years of considering this and what the bio-dads reaction would be, we have come to several conclusions. I am truly not sure what to expect from the bio-dad. He may or may not agree to it. I think if he were to contest it, it would be on his parents insistence. They hate me. We have recently been considering the possibility of an "open" type of adoption. I don't know if this is possible in a step-parent adoption. I'm talking about my ex still maintaining some visitation rights, but my husband would be the legal father of my son. Is this possible. Also, would this be a MI or SD issue. My son was born in SD and all of the previous court proceedings were there. Next, how do you advise I approach this. Would it be better to just go through the lawyers or should I approach the bio-dad first with the possibility of the open adoption. Explaining that I am not trying to cut him out of my son's life, I am just trying to provide him with a secure future. I would request that IAAL not reply to this post. Thank you. I have searched the site and found no posts about this kind of situation. Thank you, any advice is much appreciated.
I recently posted on the Child Custody forum regarding what would happen to my son in the event of my death. I was advised that unless my husband adopts him, his biological father could get custody of him. My husband and I have discussed at length the possibility of him adopting "our" son. He has been my son's "dad" since he was 2 (he is now 12). We moved to MI when my son was 3 from SD, where the bio-dad still resides. The bio-dad has a minimal role in my son's life. Pays $100 in CS, which was the minimum 12 years ago when my son was born as at the time, bio-dad was unemployed. He has never contributed financially beyond the $100/month. Nothing. He is court-ordered to provide insurance but never has. My husband has always provided this and everything else. Bio-dad's name is on the birth certificate and my son carries his last name. Bio-dad calls 3-4 times a year and the calls have never lasted beyond 5 minutes. Honestly. The main issue is who will raise my son should something happen to me or to both me and my husband. If I die, I want my son to stay with my husband and our other son. We are a family and the bio-dad is a stranger to my son. OK, I think you get the background. At this point, after years of considering this and what the bio-dads reaction would be, we have come to several conclusions. I am truly not sure what to expect from the bio-dad. He may or may not agree to it. I think if he were to contest it, it would be on his parents insistence. They hate me. We have recently been considering the possibility of an "open" type of adoption. I don't know if this is possible in a step-parent adoption. I'm talking about my ex still maintaining some visitation rights, but my husband would be the legal father of my son. Is this possible. Also, would this be a MI or SD issue. My son was born in SD and all of the previous court proceedings were there. Next, how do you advise I approach this. Would it be better to just go through the lawyers or should I approach the bio-dad first with the possibility of the open adoption. Explaining that I am not trying to cut him out of my son's life, I am just trying to provide him with a secure future. I would request that IAAL not reply to this post. Thank you. I have searched the site and found no posts about this kind of situation. Thank you, any advice is much appreciated.