name change question

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?New York

I recently signed off on my children in December 2004. I hadn't seen my children for almost a year, and was still paying support, and then my ex went after more money from me, when I hadn't seen them for that long. So after a battle, she dropped all support petitions, and I dropped my petition I had against her. I agreed to sign off on the children, when my ex's new husband adopts them.

Here is my question: I still have no adoption papers in the mail, and she said it was going to be done in June 2004, it still hasn't happened. My daughter starts school next September. Can they change their last names to my ex's husband's name yet without an adoption, even though I've signed off on them? Reason being, she already has the kids saying their last name as his, when legally it's not. Does she have to have my permission for a name change until the adoption is complete?

Why she would have them lie about their own name I don't know, I just want to make sure that the ex doesn't confuse my daughter when she goes to school, and her name will still be mine, when my ex has her saying her name differently than the school will call her. You know? How does this work?

Thanks for your time

If you have signed the consent to adopt, what makes you think they are required to send you anything saying the adoption is final. Once you consent to the adoption you have no more rights. You do not have to be informed legally of anything. Did someone tell you you would be receiving something in the mail? Not only that, but if you sign over your rights, you no longer have the right to say who your child's name is, they can tell her it's the mailmans you can't say anything about it. At least this is my knowledge of signing over rights.

I was told, and have written documentation stating, that I would still have to go to court to finalize the adoption, when she gets around to doing it.

I don't mind what name they give them, as long as my ex doesn't have the kids saying their last name as hers, and then have it be different and confuse them when they go to school.

You have to supply a birth certificate when they go to school, and if the adoption isn't done, then they will still have my last name.

My concern isn't what they are called, my concern is I don't want them confused.

I was just curious as to how this works.

Thanks!

Maryland

I just read this thread and had something to add. My husband did this almost 6 years ago. My stepkids were older like teenage older. He signed his rights away to the stepfather. We called the court where the children were adopted and told them we needed to have some form of evidence that the kids were adopted because of health insurance and everything because we were paying all that. So try to call the court or write to them to find out how you can get something stating the children were adopted. Also my husbands exwife did change their names NOT ONLY THEIR LASTS NAMES but also THEIR FIRST NAMES. You heard me correctly. Talk about confusing your children after 14 years being called one name now you are someone else. How messed up is that???? we knew the last name would change but to be that weird and freaky to change a 14 year olds first name and the other ones at that age. I just wanted to let you know. ANd you can always find ways of where your kids are we've been doing it for 6 years now. ANd to let you know my husbands oldest son is almost 20 and we talk to him every other day now. Its great. Good luck to you. I wish you all the luck.