child he never knew about

What is the name of your state?colorado
My husband of 6 years just found out that he has a 9 year old child that he never knew about. The Mother of the child went to the child enforcement agency to get child support. I have so many questions I am not sure where to begin...but will try. We are told that my husband owes back child support as well as future. How can she get back child support when she is the one who never told him about the child? Does she not have any consquences for with holding this child for 9 years? My husband truely had no knowledge of this child and is not a dead beat Dad... He is in the same town and area and phone book to find him at any point in time. We are also told that my husband has no rights to this child unless he fights for custody in court?
I can not believe we would pay such large sums of money for a child he would never see.
any help would be greatly appreciated! since we are still in shock!

mojo91 said:

What is the name of your state?colorado
My husband of 6 years just found out that he has a 9 year old child that he never knew about. The Mother of the child went to the child enforcement agency to get child support. I have so many questions I am not sure where to begin...but will try. We are told that my husband owes back child support as well as future. How can she get back child support when she is the one who never told him about the child? Does she not have any consquences for with holding this child for 9 years? My husband truely had no knowledge of this child and is not a dead beat Dad... He is in the same town and area and phone book to find him at any point in time. We are also told that my husband has no rights to this child unless he fights for custody in court?
I can not believe we would pay such large sums of money for a child he would never see.
any help would be greatly appreciated! since we are still in shock!

Click to expand...

If he ends up owing back support it will be because the mother has been on state aid of some sort. The mother won't actually see the back support, it will go to the state to reimburse the aid that was given.

It may be that the state is forcing the mom to file for support because of the state aid.

Yes, he would have to file for visitation/custody in order to recieve any rights. However he would have had to do that 9 years ago as well...so nothing has changed in that respect.

Thank you!
As far as we know from paper work that has been sent she is not on any state aid and has not recieved any state aid in the past.
But we will owe her the back child support directly.
Does this mean that she is at no fault for withholding the child for 9 years?
If my husband fought for custody what would be likely percentage of time a judge would grant my husband? I mean, this does disrupt this child's life as well.

Has he obtained an attorney and demanded a DNA test? Has his paternity been proven by DNA?

yes we have obtained a lawyer.
and yes he has had a DNA test and it was confirmed.
I have some concerns with the lawyer my husband obtained and this is why I am asking my own question on this formum and just to get any additional info that is possible.
Never been in any situation like this before! so appreciate any info.

Which state sent you paperwork? Colorado?
Was there any paperwork he ignored before the CS order?
What are your concerns with your lawyer?

Colorado sent the papers
from the colorado child enforcement agency
No there has never been any other paperwork sent, no notification of anything at any time.
My concerns with the lawyer are that she does not seem to give any solid answers on anything and that basically we are going to be financially ruined but she will try to negotiate the best possible deal for us.
and I am not sure what she means by negotiate?
I am under the understading that he will pay a set amount for child support for next 10 years and that he owes back child support period- so what are we negotiating? and why should he pay any back child support when it was the mothers choice not to inform him of the child.
My husband has lost 9 years with his child... and now we will have financial hardships and all we hear is
" so sorry charlie"

If your attorney, who works for you, doesn't want to FIGHT for you, dump her sorry butt. Check the yellow pages for attorneys that offer free initial consults and take your questions with you. Find an attorney that is going to FIGHT for you. You NEED a kickass lawyer, who specializes in family law, preferably father's rights.

In which county did she file? In which county do you live?

Does he WANT to try to establish a relationship w/the kid, or would he rather just pay support until it's over? If he wants to see the kid, he has to file for visitation -- it doesn't just get handed to him.

It really IS a "sorry, Charlie" situation in that he played...and now he's gotta pay. He (and you) must figure out a way to deal with it.

Here are many CO-specific links to help your husband learn about what the law is and what the processes are. I know some are for "divorce," but they have information pertinent to his situation.

http://www.denbar.org/group/index.cfm?EntityID=DBA&category=1140
(Denver Bar Assn. -- links to their CS handbook along the left of the page)

http://www.colorado-family-law.com/
(An excellent resource for beginners)

http://www.coloradodivorcemediation.com/news/news.asp?display=article&ArtID=75
(CO is big on mediation. You don't need a lawyer w/you IF you do tons of homework beforehand.)

https://childsupport.state.co.us/home/indexIndex.jsp
(Official CSE site -- completely worthless for the NCP, but you'll probably need it in the future nonetheless.)

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/selfhelpcenter.htm
(All CO forms, plus exceedingly useful info along right side of page, plus links to law, plus the CS worksheets.)

http://198.187.128.12/colorado/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=fs-main.htm&2.0
(LexisNexis law site: Family statutes are Title 14.)


That's probably about enough for now.

mojo91 said:

What is the name of your state?colorado
My husband of 6 years just found out that he has a 9 year old child that he never knew about. The Mother of the child went to the child enforcement agency to get child support. I have so many questions I am not sure where to begin...but will try. We are told that my husband owes back child support as well as future. How can she get back child support when she is the one who never told him about the child? Does she not have any consquences for with holding this child for 9 years? My husband truely had no knowledge of this child and is not a dead beat Dad... He is in the same town and area and phone book to find him at any point in time. We are also told that my husband has no rights to this child unless he fights for custody in court?
I can not believe we would pay such large sums of money for a child he would never see.
any help would be greatly appreciated! since we are still in shock!

Click to expand...

If she is going through Child Support Services you may owe all the back support. When filing through Child support Services all a mother has to do is provide a last known address. So an order may have been mailed to your husband to whatever address she gave them. If he doesn't receive it in the mail they don't care. They mailed it and it is concidered served. He only has 30 days after notice to contest it. Then another 30 days after an order has been established. I used to move alot and they tried to serve me with support documents but I never received them until 3 years later. Thats when they said I owed $21,000.00 because I never responded. It automatically becomes an order by default. (I was able to fight mine because I had my child and the person trying to get child support was committing freud.)So you have to prove you did not live wherever they mailed the first ones too. Or at least ask your attorney if this is what you need to do.

thanks to all of you!! It is nice to know there is something out there like this! With people who are willing to help.
Thank you SILVERPLUM for the links. I will look them up.
We are certain that she has never tried to send papers to him before.
He has not moved around alot and in fact has had the same address for 6 years and before that lived with a realative that is still at that same address and phone number for the last 20 years.
I am still curious if anyone knows if there are any consquences for her actions that she withheld the child for 9 years?
We know she never told him she was pregnant and we know she never brought this to the child enforcement agaency prior.
I know there are many women who never have recieved child support and so deserve to, but where are the father's rights in a situation like this?
And is this any help when it comes to back child support?
Thank again everyone!

There are no consequences for the mother. Not as far as I know. Except that if he decides he wants some sort of a relationship with the child then it could look bad on her in family court because she with held the information from him that he was the father and therefore did not think in her childs best interest, that her child deserved both a mother and father. As far as back support he is gonna have to prove that he just found out. And I do not know how is going to go about doing that without a really good attorney. And the only way to keep the child support from being outragious is to go through family court and get visitation or partial custody.

Oh yeah, keep in mind that they do not think about the adults and what kind of financial strain it puts on anyone. Only what is in the child's best interest. So if the courts do not feel that it is in the childs best interest to waive all of the child support for the past 9 years, they won't. It's a crazy system that needs A LOT of overhauling.

My situation was very similar. I was told about my daughter when she was 3 1/2. mother tried to get back child support to birth, including 1/2 of all medical expenses back to birth. I had a good attorney, and he found a statute in florida that caps back child support at 2 years. Look and see if there is a similar statute in colorado. Additionally, you can negotiate the amount you pay in the back support. In cases in florida, they typically order 20% of the total child support amount to be paid each month to go towards the "arrears". Just remember that she will ask for it all at once, you may be able to settle with her in mediation giving her a smaller amount in a lump sum in lieu of the 20% monthly payments.

As far as seeing his child, make sure you file for paternity, and have custody decided. I was able to get joint legal custody (not that that means very much) with "secondary residential" responsibility. I see my girl every other weekend, we alternate holidays, 1/2 of all of the major breaks from school, and 2 weeks in summer (I still wish I had fought for more during the summer, but I thought I could change it easily, that is NOT the case).

Get a good attorney.

mojo91 said:

What is the name of your state?colorado
My husband of 6 years just found out that he has a 9 year old child that he never knew about. The Mother of the child went to the child enforcement agency to get child support. I have so many questions I am not sure where to begin...but will try. We are told that my husband owes back child support as well as future. How can she get back child support when she is the one who never told him about the child? Does she not have any consquences for with holding this child for 9 years? My husband truely had no knowledge of this child and is not a dead beat Dad... He is in the same town and area and phone book to find him at any point in time. We are also told that my husband has no rights to this child unless he fights for custody in court?
I can not believe we would pay such large sums of money for a child he would never see.
any help would be greatly appreciated! since we are still in shock!

Click to expand...

How much back child support is being requested from your husband? Here's some info about back child support:

"Question: I was just ordered to pay child support, and I already owe $3,000 in back support. How did this happen?

Answer: According to Colorado law, if you did not live with the custodial party and the child, an amount may have been ordered which represents support for the time period before child support was established. If the custodial party and children were receiving public assistance from a government agency, this amount may be owed to the state. If they were not receiving public assistance, this amount will be owed to the custodial party.

Here's that website link: http://www.childsupport.state.co.us/home/faqEstablishingChildSupportIndex.jsp

Here's a link to the "Father's Guide to Child Support" from Colorado Child Support Enforcement: https://childsupport.state.co.us/siteuser/do/general/GetPDF?PDFNumber=83


Does your step-child live in Colorado?

as far as we know the child is in Colorado, but we really do not know where or anything else for that fact.
We know nothing about the child and how he has been living.
Right now we have not gone to court and have no hard numbers of back child support at this time, but have been told that it could be as high as $60,000!!!! Because of what my husbands income is now.
We have provided 10 years worth of tax documents to show that he has not always made this income.
However- SHE (the mother) Now does not want to give any of her finanical records up. I thinkshe was just hoping that she could go to this Child enforcement agency and then get some money period!

Rm1759- SORRY this happenend to you as well!!!! But I am glad to hear that you were able to get some time with your child and perhaps it can be more in the future.

We have made no decisions on custody/visitations at this time due to not knowing anything about the child and we do have another child at home with us to consider. But of course looking in to to the whole situation!!

Mtnmoon- thanks more links!!!!
I still dont think I understand why you already owe back child support? If you were just ordered to pay child support then do you owe back child support because they date it to the day you found out you were the father?

Still sitting here wondering why women do this sort of thing... Hide the fact that they had a child and then go and fight for money!!
Where really is the best interest of the child being meet?????????