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To those that helped w/ ? re: college child support ...

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bchbum

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Ga

Thanks so much for your replies! To answer your questions ...

My DH asked his other child (when he was attending college) if he'd give him access to his records. His son said "sure" ... we sent him an authorization letter to send to the school ... a few days later, the ex typed a letter (and made son sign) stating that he now didn't feel comfortable signing the letter, etc. So, we had to send support on a good faith assumption that he was going full-time and doing well.

We later found out that he was failing ALL of his classes ... no WONDER the ex didn't want us to have direct access to the son's grades ... he was failing and never said anything to us as she continued to endorse the checks we sent.

Sooo ... now, we feel it's important to make sure that we see proof that the conditions of the support order are being met ... I guess I fall back on my question ... how can my DH be in contempt when the conditions of college child support may not be met? Ugh ... it's a shame that it has to be such a game to her.

Do you think a judge would understand our point of view in light of what the ex has pulled over on us before?
 


MtnMoon

Member
bchbum said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Ga

Thanks so much for your replies! To answer your questions ...

My DH asked his other child (when he was attending college) if he'd give him access to his records. His son said "sure" ... we sent him an authorization letter to send to the school ... a few days later, the ex typed a letter (and made son sign) stating that he now didn't feel comfortable signing the letter, etc. So, we had to send support on a good faith assumption that he was going full-time and doing well.

We later found out that he was failing ALL of his classes ... no WONDER the ex didn't want us to have direct access to the son's grades ... he was failing and never said anything to us as she continued to endorse the checks we sent.

Sooo ... now, we feel it's important to make sure that we see proof that the conditions of the support order are being met ... I guess I fall back on my question ... how can my DH be in contempt when the conditions of college child support may not be met? Ugh ... it's a shame that it has to be such a game to her.

Do you think a judge would understand our point of view in light of what the ex has pulled over on us before?
That's a risky assumption... If the order states conditions...and your husband is not able to get his ex to cooperate to get the grades through her...and your husband is unable to get info directly from the college...and your step-child won't give the college authorization to give the info to your husband...then he should look into going to court to have that remedied. Stopping child support payments on an assumption that the grades might not be up to par (without having proof of this) opens up the possibility of your husband being found guilty of contempt of court. Soooooo...bottom line is either find a way to get the proof...or go to court and get the court's assistance in settling the dilemma of not being able to get proof of the grades. Personally, I wouldn't take the chance that the judge "might" understand why I didn't follow a court order and pay child support... I can understand where you're coming from...but a judge might say "Why didn't you bring this matter up in court instead of just stopping payments?"
 

BethM

Member
Is there nothing in the agreement that states his ex wife has to provide him with proof of attendance and grades? If not then he has no one to blame but himself for the position he is in now.

I'm not trying to judge BUT if he failed to protect himself back then he now needs to go to court and have the agreement modified so that he will have future access to attendance records and grades.

If the agreements says he is to be provided with this information then she is in contempt for not providing. His only recourse is to file contempt charges. If he stops payment he will be the one in contempt and she could rightfully cause him a huge headache.

My advice..keep paying the support. Immediately go back to court to have the agreement modified so that she has to give him the needed information. If, when you get back into court you find that the child is not full time or is flunking then you can request that all money paid to her be re-imbursed.

It's a hassle but it's the only legal way out of the problem.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Hon - it makes things a lot less complicated if you keep your posts together in a thread, especially when they're related.
 

bchbum

Junior Member
Thank you all for your replies! I appreciate your understanding and wisdom ... we're going to go ahead and pay the support and see about getting the original agreement modified. I don't think that back then, my DH thought that his volutary agreement would turn into a game where the ex would refuse to provide info. that would confirm/deny conditions of college child support were being met.

Thanks again.
 

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