what ever happened to freedom to choose and the responsibility that goes with it?

sonjarohini · Mar 20, 2005

What is the name of your state?delaware

I am a woman in a quandry. We have taken child support to a ridiculous extreme.

How is it that two adults can have a consensual relationship over a three-date fling, the woman gets pregnant, CHOOSES to keep the child and 3 years later contacts a man she hasn't seen since for child support. She chose to keep her child, why is he ultimately responsible to care for it? He certainly can't order her to terminate the pregnancy or give the child up for adoption. She is as responsible forf her pregnancy as he is - more so, since she is the only one with any biological rights to speak of.

Also, this a woman with her third child from different 'fathers', with no education and no job of her own, gets breast implants and can afford $1400.00 per month in rent (when he is struggling to work and get an education and pay child support). Why must the man pay child support that must certainly be going towards her lavish lifestyle and her unique medical expenses?

Can the person paying for child support put the money into some sort of a trust fund or secured resource that will ensure that the monies meant for that child are spent on him and not the mother's 'profile'? Can the payor directly spend the money on the child for his clothes, food, school supplies etc on a monthly basis instead of paying it directly to the woman?

Phnx02 · Mar 20, 2005

sonjarohini said:
What is the name of your state?delaware

I am a woman in a quandry. We have taken child support to a ridiculous extreme.

How is it that two adults can have a consensual relationship over a three-date fling, the woman gets pregnant, CHOOSES to keep the child and 3 years later contacts a man she hasn't seen since for child support. She chose to keep her child, why is he ultimately responsible to care for it? He certainly can't order her to terminate the pregnancy or give the child up for adoption. She is as responsible forf her pregnancy as he is - more so, since she is the only one with any biological rights to speak of.

Also, this a woman with her third child from different 'fathers', with no education and no job of her own, gets breast implants and can afford $1400.00 per month in rent (when he is struggling to work and get an education and pay child support). Why must the man pay child support that must certainly be going towards her lavish lifestyle and her unique medical expenses?

Can the person paying for child support put the money into some sort of a trust fund or secured resource that will ensure that the monies meant for that child are spent on him and not the mother's 'profile'? Can the payor directly spend the money on the child for his clothes, food, school supplies etc on a monthly basis instead of paying it directly to the woman?

Because it takes 2 to make a baby - idiot! If your B/F or husband didn't want to reproduce from his 3 sexual encounters, then he should have been more responsible in the first place. Don't have sex with someone after only 3 dates, or wear a condom. Everyone knows from the age of 12 the possible consequences of unprotected sex!

Yes, since the female is the "incubator", she ultimately has first choice on how to handle the pregnancy occuring in her body. If a child is born, it has to eat and be clothed for the next 18 years. Your B/F is 1/2 responsible for creating this life, and 1/2 responsible to parent and provide for his/her needs until the child can provide for herself. That's the chance he took when he had unprotected sex....with someone he hardly knew. Unless this child is living in a tent somewhere, it's complete ignorance to think that all his cs is paying for a set of new boobs.

misslawli · Mar 21, 2005

Is It fair that she hid this child from him? NO. But it is done. Now all he can do is get to know his child. Just because she got a boob job and lives in an expensive place doesn't mean that she should have to suppor THEIR child by herself. He is just as responsible for the support of the kid as she is. No. Support can not go into a trust fund because the child needs a roof over his/her head, clothing, and food now not 10 years from now. Basically what support is is a reimbursment to the CP for money already spent on the raising of the child. If she alredy spent all of her money on the child then she is being reimbursed for his percentage.

The money is officially hers and legally it's none of yoour concern what she does with it.
Also a judge doesn't care if he is living in a cardboard box, as long as he is fulfilling is responsability to the child.
Sorry that the way it is.

Red Day · Mar 21, 2005

She made the decision to keep her child. She was responsible enough to raise her child, as opposed to giving the child up for adoption, which in some cases, are better for the child. However, she takes care of this child. Why WOULDN'T you want your BF or Hubby to take responsibility of a child he didn't even know he had? Isn't that the right thing to do?

"why is he ultimately responsible to care for it"

HE ISN'T!! She is! She is the one who has been taking care of this child for the last 3 years for God's sake.

And this child isn't an IT. Quit being selfish. Go get another job and help your BF or husband out with finances. Quit whining.

genivieve · Mar 21, 2005

sonjarohini said:
What is the name of your state?delaware

Can the person paying for child support put the money into some sort of a trust fund or secured resource that will ensure that the monies meant for that child are spent on him and not the mother's 'profile'? No
Can the payor directly spend the money on the child for his clothes, food, school supplies etc on a monthly basis instead of paying it directly to the woman?

No

It is unfortunate that child support could not be distributed like that. Imagine how many unhappy, fat, revengeful, freeloading mommys would be mad. LOL Yup, I'm picking another argument. A legitimate question was asked and again a new poster was tore apart. I love PMS.

nagol818 · Mar 21, 2005

sonjarohini said:
Can the person paying for child support put the money into some sort of a trust fund or secured resource that will ensure that the monies meant for that child are spent on him and not the mother's 'profile'? Can the payor directly spend the money on the child for his clothes, food, school supplies etc on a monthly basis instead of paying it directly to the woman?

Interestingly enough though, I now use a CS debit card instead of receiving a check in the mail. All of the places I make transactions are now on record.

Funny thing though about it..I can go into a beer distributor and make a purchase but I can't get gas with it.

Inquiry123 · Mar 21, 2005

Responsibility 101

Your Question:
what ever happened to freedom to choose and the responsibility that goes with it?

The Obvious Answer:
He had the freedom to CHOOSE when/where/with whom he had sex with. And now he has the responsibility that goes with it. That's what ever happened.

So, now he's getting an education? OK...run this story problem by him (hint: it's a trick question.) If a man is dating a flat-chested woman that has two children by different "fathers"...how much, to the nearest dollar, will the third date cost him?

captnwedge · Mar 27, 2005

nautious

You ladies really make me sick some times. You make the decision on your own to have a child out of wedlock, not tell the man you had wild unprotected sex with that the ******* child is his. Years later when you realize you messed up and should have killed the thing because you can't handle it, then you go hunt down the man who was the "donor", call him a deadbeat and screw him for all he's worth. Even though he may now have a family of his own and wants nothing to do with this ******* child he knew nothing about in the first place. I may be a bit cold hearted but it sickens me to no end!!!

misslawli · Mar 27, 2005

Get over it. People like you make ME sick. Everytime you have sex there is a risk involved. If you don't want to risk it don't have sex. It's really that simple. You play.....You pay!!

Don't go blaming all the women just because you got screwed by one. The only person that matters now is the poor kid that wound up with a parent like you Capt. I would hate to be in that kids shoes, knowing that my father or my mother resents me now because they didn't "KILL" me when they had the chance.

nagol818 · Mar 27, 2005

sonjarohini said:
What is the name of your state?delaware

How is it that two adults can have a consensual relationship over a three-date fling, the woman gets pregnant, CHOOSES to keep the child and 3 years later contacts a man she hasn't seen since for child support.

Well, look at it this way. He could have been paying for the first 3 years too. You b**** because she waited 3 years and I bet you'd b**** if she wouldn't have waited at all.

what ever happened to freedom to choose and the responsibility that goes with it?

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sonjarohini

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Phnx02

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misslawli

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Red Day

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Inquiry123

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captnwedge

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misslawli

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