Deadbeat Mom

What is the name of your state? California

I'm single and I'm raising my seventeen year old nephew. I rented my mother's house about eleven years ago. Ten years ago my sister and my nephew moved in with me temporarily. She ended up staying five years. My sister is a drug addict, crystal meth being her drug of choice. Five years ago my mother moved back into the house and had my sister evicted. The drugs and the craziness were just too much. My sister left the state and left my nephew with me, which was fine. I'd been raising him with no help from her since he was seven anyway. He's more like my son than my nephew.

The state (California) has been taking child support out of the father's paycheck since my nephew was four. It's mandatory. I asked my sister to send me the child support checks so I could save it for my nephew's college education. She refused to send it. I had his father contact the people with the state that administer to tell them that my nephew was living with me and that his mother was living in a different state (Nevada). They sent her a letter asking if my nephew was living with her and she lied. They never presued it any further and my sister has continues to take my nephew's child support.

Six months ago my sister showed up at my door and asked if she could stay for two weeks until she could get a place. She's still here and she has contributed nothing. My mother is selling the house and I need to move into an apartment. My mother and I have been sharing expenses and she has been very helpful, but that is coming to an end. I need that child support money now, and of course my sister still refuses to give it up. I barely make enough to pay rent and the boy's got to eat. My request of his child support is more than reasonable, but I don't know if I have a legal leg to stand on since I don't have legal custody of the boy.

I would like to have future child support directed to me and force her to pay back support. I consider what she has been doing to be stealing money from her own son. Not only am I not going to have money for his education, it's going to be very difficult to get by as I continue to care for him. He deserves better.

Could someone please give me a little direction? I would very much appreciate it. I don't have a clue as to what to do.

Thank you SO much!

Well.... you could file for custody. Then you can expect that she will take the boy with her, as is her right. Dad could file for custody.

Thank you, Stealth. Her and the father share joint custody, though she has physical custody as I understand it. She won't take he boy either. She doesn't want the expense. She only wants to keep his money. Besides, he would refuse to go with her anyway.

Is there any way I can get for him what she has stolen from him? I's in the neighborhood of $18,000.

Nope. If Dad didn't bother to get the order modified, then she is entitled to the support.

He attempted to get it modified, but when the state approached her in a letter she lied and stated that the boy was living with her. She was living in Nevada and the boy was living with me here in California. It was that way for five years.

And then he should have come back with school records and/or taken it to court.

Unfortunately the father isn't willing to take the fight that far. I do appreciate your insight, Stealth, even if it's not what I want to hear. It just infuriates me that he is getting screwed. He's a good kid and he deserves better. The offense is so egregious that I would think there would be some kind of recourse.

I don't know if this will work, and I may be way off base, ask dad to file again and YOU AND THE CHILD go to court. As the 17 year old to talk to the judge, stating clearly that he lives with you, he has lived with you and wants to continue living with you. Either that or talk to dad and see if he will agree that you file for custody, once again, bring the 17 year old to court with you!

It's not like he's 4 any more, he's almost an adult. However, the minute he turns 18 AND graduates from high school, support will stop anyway.

Also, another excellent website: www.deltabravo.net. Go to the "Dear Socrateaser" board.