Alittle shocked

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?VA

I have a 2 year old. His mother and I were never married. As you can see it didn't work out, blah blah blah. We are in the process of going to court. I have just found out what I will probably be asked to pay. Right now I am just shell-shocked at the number I am looking at. In no way have I ever paid that kind of money when we were together. I don't know about the rest of you, but I was raised by a single mom who new how to make 50 bucks last. I was never in contact with my father as he was a A-hole. It seems that I will be going to jail because of the fact that, no its not that I will not pay the child support, its the fact that I cant. She makes almost double then I. I have tried to get as much visitation rights as possible. Well being a male, you will get bare minimal, one day out of the week and one weekend. I cant understand how a 300 dollar increase just suddenly is needed. I would love to receive a bill on what my so called 600 dollar child support is really going to. Two of my friends have been hit with something similar, one is in and out of jail and as been for 4 years. He just cant keep up with the demand, that and the mother has increased it to a total of 850 dollars for one child. The other is working three jobs just to pay it. My friend with the three jobs had to sell his car, sell his townhouse, move in with roommates (which is not very nice when having a child come over) and still almost never makes the deadline on time. We are all good guys, well in my eyes we are, we are the breed that grew up with out fathers but we do NOT want that to happen with our kids. It seems no matter how hard we try, its going to happen. The worst part about his hole thing, when dad is in and out of jail because of this, my son will think he is to blame.

Regards,
Jail house dad

You should feel better after getting that off your chest. Perhaps you can try and negotiate a workable amount that the two of you will agree on. Just a suggestion.

Any time you think you're paying too much, I'll be more than happy to trade with you.

Lisabyday said:

You should feel better after getting that off your chest. Perhaps you can try and negotiate a workable amount that the two of you will agree on. Just a suggestion.

Click to expand...

You know, it feels really good to get that out in the open. Wasnt really looking for a response, or answers. Just needed to vent and this seemed like a good enough place if any. Thanks again for reading.

Well if you don’t like the rules then you can either sit back and do nothing or try to change the laws. Several items that are beneficial to non custodial parents were passed last year & there are several more that should pass this year. There child support bill that prorates for each day of child custody (passed the senate), a visitation enforcement bill that would include jail time for a first time offense( passed house) and bill that allows for retroactive child support reductions in the case of fraud (passed house). Set standard visitation which will mean to you is that you’ll have your child approximately 3 weekends a month (Fri-Sun), every single holiday is split & so is the summer. This will put your child support obligation up against the shared parenting model so heck, she could even wind up paying you. My advice right now is to try to find a way to move within walking distance of the child’s current primary home or at least within the same school district. You child needs to have you equally involved in his/her life & that’s what you have got to fight for.
There are many equal parenting rights organizations in VA, do a search in your area. Here is a good place to start researching your rights.

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.htm

Don’t forget to request that you be able to take the income tax deduction yearly, she be responsible for the first 250 (or ?) of unpaid medical per year & that you can deduct such things as student loans & union dues from your monthly income prior to support being calculated.

Mr. KAT pays over 2k for one child....but that's only for another 171 days.

Good Luck.

KAT