a new experience

What is the name of your state? CA

So, I'm recently married to a woman with a kid. A delightful child, her mother is the NPC with visitation every other weekend, but dealing with her ex is an unholy chore (one example being her telling him she might be late returning the child this Sunday since she doesn't drive and I'm working, and his response being that if HIS daughter wasn't back by the agreed upon time in the court papers, he was calling the police and calling it kidnapping).

My wife doesn't work, despite my requests to find something part time (the search hasn't been very fruitful), if for no other reason than to pay the child support (as I make enough to comfortably support us both). As a result, she's in arrears, and the ex is getting antsy. One could ask, "why haven't you helped?" and my answer would be a combination of "not my kid, and I don't want my hard earned cash going to this guy's already substantial beer fund" and my fear that with the laws and horror stories here in CA, that my contribution now (in the efforts to help out) might come back to bite me and cause me to actually be responsible for payments in the eyes of some judge.

He has recently told her he's going to court this Monday as a result of her lack of payments. While he has a history of being a blowhard and threatening with bluffs, I am wondering if I should be concerned.

I have other questions which I'll be posting in the Custody forum as well.

She needs to get a job! The other option if she doesn't is the courts will want to see your income and attach your wages. He has every right to file for CS. The child deserves it.

Yes, she should get a job, and yes he has every right to file for CS. Total agreement there. But how am *I* legally responsible for someone else's kid? This is what I don't understand.

boykev said:

But how am *I* legally responsible for someone else's kid? This is what I don't understand.

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My response:

nagol818 doesn't know what he/she is talking about. You're not responsible, legally or otherwise, and in all liklihood, you never will be. As long as the child is getting the "necessities of life", you could never be liable for the support. And, even if the child isn't getting the necessities, only in the most dire of circumstances would a court even consider a non-parent to pay support.

But, I'd get rid of this woman. She's a real legal liability - - especially in a Community Property State, as is California. She's probably going to do some jail time in the not-to-distant future for her failure to pay support. And, that's only the beginning of your legal, and financial, nightmares.

IAAL

Yikes!

That's even WORSE than my visual!

Custody

If you are in the long haul with this woman and her ex is such a loser why not fight for cutody of the child,seems like the kid might be better off.

The only way you're "responsible" is if you don't want to see her get into legal trouble for ignoring her support obligation.

And what will you do if/when she ends up in jail for contempt and non payment? Would you pay the arrears to get her out?

Work Efforts Order

If her ex takes her to court, the judge will issue a work efforts order. And if the 'ex is a lover of calling FSD everytime the wind blows, you will have nothing but misery as long as your wife continues not to work and even if she DOES work, it will NEVER be good enough until arrears are paid in full and she pays timely.

Good luck

What is with these women who think that because they have a spouse or boyfriend that they hooked up with, they have no financial responsibilities? I can't believe a woman can't even get herself a lousy PART-TIME job, at minimum, to help support HER child. And she is probably half my age and has twice the physical stamina. So what does she do with all that free time all week?

nextwife said:

So what does she do with all that free time all week?

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My response:

Oprah, Bon-Bons, sofa, for starters.

IAAL