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Need advice about terminating parental rights

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Joejoe1

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Nj
I have a situation in which I have a child from a women I only dated for 6 months. The mother of my child has been making miserable with all her lies and schemes. The child is now 19 months old and the mother has prevented me from seeing him for a period of 5 months. I tried calling her to make arrangements to see the baby but she never answered the phone and would not return messages. This women is a coniver, she has been plotting something since the child's birth. I just completed a supervised visitation program that lasted 3 months, I am scheduled to court very soon for supposedly unsupervised visitation. She has an attorney, I don't because I simply can't afford itand I even looked into legal aide and they said they can't help me. She has been making my life so miserable that I have even considered giving up my parental rights so that her brother can adopt the child. Is this possible? I would like to have a relationship with the baby but I am constantly worring about what this women will make up next. Family courts are always in favor of the women and i just feel like it is a losing battle. What is the best thing for a father to do in my situation?
 


the_destiny

Junior Member
playmaster said:
What is the name of your state?Nj
I have a situation in which I have a child from a women I only dated for 6 months. The mother of my child has been making miserable with all her lies and schemes. The child is now 19 months old and the mother has prevented me from seeing him for a period of 5 months. I tried calling her to make arrangements to see the baby but she never answered the phone and would not return messages. This women is a coniver, she has been plotting something since the child's birth. I just completed a supervised visitation program that lasted 3 months, I am scheduled to court very soon for supposedly unsupervised visitation. She has an attorney, I don't because I simply can't afford itand I even looked into legal aide and they said they can't help me. She has been making my life so miserable that I have even considered giving up my parental rights so that her brother can adopt the child. Is this possible? I would like to have a relationship with the baby but I am constantly worring about what this women will make up next. Family courts are always in favor of the women and i just feel like it is a losing battle. What is the best thing for a father to do in my situation?
The bad part about the law is it is allways in favor of the woman... Trust me I am the woman in a perternity case my self..If you want to be in the life just keep fighting.. However you can give up all rights if you chose... Tell the courts when you go back you want to give up all rights..
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
the_destiny said:
However you can give up all rights if you chose... Tell the courts when you go back you want to give up all rights..
Uuuuuh, no. As far as I know, our fine state would require her spouse to adopt the child prior to your rights being terminated - her brother could not do so.
 
S

seniorjudge

Guest
stealth2 said:
Uuuuuh, no. As far as I know, our fine state would require her spouse to adopt the child prior to your rights being terminated - her brother could not do so.
She has been making my life so miserable that I have even considered giving up my parental rights so that her brother can adopt the child. Is this possible?

Generally, the TPR and adoption are handled in one lawsuit.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
seniorjudge said:
She has been making my life so miserable that I have even considered giving up my parental rights so that her brother can adopt the child. Is this possible?

Generally, the TPR and adoption are handled in one lawsuit.
I worded it badly. She would need a spouse willing to adopt. Then the proposed termination/adoption could go forward.
 

care716

Junior Member
Family courts are making good strides in NOT favoring women, here in Ohio especially they are quite the opposite. Keep detailed notes on phone calls, letters, conversations where you have tried to have contact and she denied or ignored. Often times that can be very helpful. If she won't answer the phone, send certified letters, even if she doesn't accept them you get a receipt showing how many times they attempted to deliver it. Also sometimes its better to call from a cell phone as your call logs are automatically listed on your bill(versus waiting or trying to get one from a local telephone provider).
Don't give up yet, I didn't get the feeling you WANTED to give up rights, just that this is exhausting. Know that will it be, but "this soon will pass". If this woman is as you say, can you live with the fact that your child will not have you as a role model in his/her life?
Also a good faith show would be to go to your local c.s. office and begin to make voluntary payments(even without an order they will usually open a case for you), that way you have a record of payments and it shows that you are serious. Even if you can't pay much, a little is better than nothing. But do not ever pay directly to her...this is considered a gift and will not count for you if you are ordered to pay c.s. C.S. payment is generally considered a seperate issue from visitation, but in family court it will be helpful for you to show facts on how you will be an asset in this childs life. If you are already paying support(blushing cause you prob are) get a copy of the paperwork from them.
When you go to court, try hard to stay away from bashing her(even if they bash you) state how your presence would benefit this child. You completed the supervised visitation schedule, so this should be helpful for you, if all else fails and it seems you're not going to get a fair shake offer to do more supervised visitation, it may suck, but at least you'll still be able to see your child.
Maybe you could also see if you could speak to an attny just to get advice on how best to represent yourself in court(often local attny's know what the judges hot points are) It will cost an office visit, but a lot less than actual representation. And could give you key information you wouldn't have even thought about.
 

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