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Prooving a parent unfit

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ariesnana

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida
I have temporary custody of my grandson, the bio mom is in jail, the bio dad lives in AZ and is trying to get custody of his son. We won the jurisdiction in Fl since he has lived with us for over a year. We have a family mediation hearing later this month.

The dad just received his second drug charge in Az (misdemeanor Class 1) while on probation. His probabtion was extended to 2 yrs with fines, community service and a 45 day sentence to county jail that begins in Nov 05.

Will this be enough to keep him from getting custody of his 4 year son? My daughter had signed temp custody over to us because of her drug problems.

Thanks for your time.
 


B

BL

Senior Member
With the charge and extended probation Etc , no .

With everything combined , the Court would be inclined to keep status Quo for now , especially if he is to Begin a sentence .

If you were to retain Temp. Custody ( or guardianship ) , The Father could always later on when he is cleaned up his act , Petition again , after all he IS the biological Parent .
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
ariesnana said:
What is the name of your state? Florida
I have temporary custody of my grandson, the bio mom is in jail, the bio dad lives in AZ and is trying to get custody of his son. We won the jurisdiction in Fl since he has lived with us for over a year. We have a family mediation hearing later this month.

The dad just received his second drug charge in Az (misdemeanor Class 1) while on probation. His probabtion was extended to 2 yrs with fines, community service and a 45 day sentence to county jail that begins in Nov 05.

Will this be enough to keep him from getting custody of his 4 year son? My daughter had signed temp custody over to us because of her drug problems.

Thanks for your time.
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Realistically.....unless dad has a strong family support system (financially) the fact that you got FL jurisdiction most likely means that dad is not going to be a serious problem for you. Dad has major financial issues to deal with in AZ as a result of his own problems....and the ordinary person wouldn't have the means to deal with an interstate child custody battle at the same time.

Even with strong financial backing it would/could be an uphill climb for him.
 
A

ariesnana

Junior Member
Excellent, that's exactly what I needed to hear. The bio dad is living with his g/f and their new baby and is living in poverty, he is still married to my daughter as neither of them has filed to legally seperate. No financial support. And given enough rope and he will get caught using drugs again sooner or later.

I do have another question, if I were to file for child support in Fl would they enforce it in Az?

Thanks again
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
ariesnana said:
Excellent, that's exactly what I needed to hear. The bio dad is living with his g/f and their new baby and is living in poverty, he is still married to my daughter as neither of them has filed to legally seperate. No financial support. And given enough rope and he will get caught using drugs again sooner or later.

I do have another question, if I were to file for child support in Fl would they enforce it in Az?

Thanks again
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Ok...how can I put this that makes sense?

Are you nuts? Your entire case/argument is built on the fact that the father is both unfit and living in poverty. Do you want to guarantee that dad will find SOME way to fight you?.....do you want a child support order that is basically uncollectable?

You honestly "lost" me with that question...sigh.
 
B

BL

Senior Member
If you have been or are awarded continued Custody ( guardianship ) , why haven't you , or will Apply for State Aid ( welfare grant ) for the Child's needs , and let the State handle any support issues from the " Parents " ?
 
A

ariesnana

Junior Member
No I am not nuts, I am quite intelligent as a matter of fact. What is nuts is the laws that are on the books to protect the rights of deadbeat parents who don't have a clue how to be a responsible person, let alone take care of a child. I never said that my case was based on the dad's inability to pay for his childs needs. I was only giving you basic info. My grandson is 4 years old, the dad had him for 4 months last year and in that short period of time he taught him how to curse, push other kids, never took him to doctors when he was sick, kept him inside a filthy apartment, smoked pot and cigarettes in car and apt. Keeps unregistered weapons, robs convenience stores, drives without a license, oh yeah, he also OD on meth. Az keeps giving him drug diversion because jails are over crowded and lax drug laws there. I have supported my grandson and been his primary caretaker for most of his life. He was totally withdrawn when I got him back after the 4 months. My daughter had taken him out to Az to try and fix her marriage and because they are both immature and drug abusers, they use the child as a way to get back at each other. The dad never cared about being a dad until his g/f had a baby. Then he kicked my daughter into the streets and snatched their kid. It took her 4 months to get him back. At least she had enough sense to sign over temp custody to me.

I've spent thousands of dollars on attorneys in the past several months while he files as indigent and gets all court fees waived. My husband recently lost his job but until then, we didn't need financial help. Now I've dipped into my retirement savings and need some help for a change.

Thanks for your suggestion, BLonde L on trying to get some State aid for at least insurance for grandson. I'll give that a try and hopefully my husband will find employment sooner rather than later.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
ariesnana said:
No I am not nuts, I am quite intelligent as a matter of fact. What is nuts is the laws that are on the books to protect the rights of deadbeat parents who don't have a clue how to be a responsible person, let alone take care of a child. I never said that my case was based on the dad's inability to pay for his childs needs. I was only giving you basic info. My grandson is 4 years old, the dad had him for 4 months last year and in that short period of time he taught him how to curse, push other kids, never took him to doctors when he was sick, kept him inside a filthy apartment, smoked pot and cigarettes in car and apt. Keeps unregistered weapons, robs convenience stores, drives without a license, oh yeah, he also OD on meth. Az keeps giving him drug diversion because jails are over crowded and lax drug laws there. I have supported my grandson and been his primary caretaker for most of his life. He was totally withdrawn when I got him back after the 4 months. My daughter had taken him out to Az to try and fix her marriage and because they are both immature and drug abusers, they use the child as a way to get back at each other. The dad never cared about being a dad until his g/f had a baby. Then he kicked my daughter into the streets and snatched their kid. It took her 4 months to get him back. At least she had enough sense to sign over temp custody to me.

I've spent thousands of dollars on attorneys in the past several months while he files as indigent and gets all court fees waived. My husband recently lost his job but until then, we didn't need financial help. Now I've dipped into my retirement savings and need some help for a change.

Thanks for your suggestion, BLonde L on trying to get some State aid for at least insurance for grandson. I'll give that a try and hopefully my husband will find employment sooner rather than later.
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You missed my point. I understand that you need help. Getting a child support or is one thing, actually COLLECTING is another. The odds of you being able to collect from this guy are pretty darned slim.

In addition....the general trend of things is that a child support order just causes a parent to fight harder and longer for custody.

Therefore, based on your own comments above....you may simply spend a lot more in legal fees to get a child support order...plus more because dad continues the battle....and never collect a penny.

However the other advice you got, to apply for any state aid you may qualify for....would get the child support ball rolling without any real cost for you....but it still might encourage dad to keep up the custody battle.
 
A

ariesnana

Junior Member
Yes Ldij, I do see your point. The dad is working according to his statements to the courts, though I'm sure at a minimum wage job, he lived with my husband and me for awhile and doesn't interview well so needs others to get minimal jobs for him. But you are probably right, it would be pretty useless as if they garnished his meager salary he would probably just quit and collect welfare himself.

As for my daughter, she is in jail on drug charges and hasn't supported herself or her child. If she happens to get out anytime soon perhaps this is her wake up call. I'm just trying to keep my grandson in a stable life with a decent upbringing.

I have a family mediation hearing to go to on April 21 and my attorney says we will object if the dad doesn't attend. Do you think they will allow him to appear at this by telephone? Anyone know what this entails or what the next step would be? We had a telephone meeting a few months back with a Judge in Az and the one in Fl where they were fighting over who gets jurisdiction. I had attorneys in both states and feel very lucky that we were able to get jurisdiction here in Fl. The judge in Fl says he didn't really want it because it is a very complicated case and issue but I guess in the end he realized it was best all around.

If the dad doesn't appear for the mediation will they just cancel it? Are there any right things or wrong things to say to the mediator?

Thanks for all your responses, I do appreciate having a place to vent and get some advice
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
ariesnana said:
Yes Ldij, I do see your point. The dad is working according to his statements to the courts, though I'm sure at a minimum wage job, he lived with my husband and me for awhile and doesn't interview well so needs others to get minimal jobs for him. But you are probably right, it would be pretty useless as if they garnished his meager salary he would probably just quit and collect welfare himself.

As for my daughter, she is in jail on drug charges and hasn't supported herself or her child. If she happens to get out anytime soon perhaps this is her wake up call. I'm just trying to keep my grandson in a stable life with a decent upbringing.

I have a family mediation hearing to go to on April 21 and my attorney says we will object if the dad doesn't attend. Do you think they will allow him to appear at this by telephone? Anyone know what this entails or what the next step would be? We had a telephone meeting a few months back with a Judge in Az and the one in Fl where they were fighting over who gets jurisdiction. I had attorneys in both states and feel very lucky that we were able to get jurisdiction here in Fl. The judge in Fl says he didn't really want it because it is a very complicated case and issue but I guess in the end he realized it was best all around.

If the dad doesn't appear for the mediation will they just cancel it? Are there any right things or wrong things to say to the mediator?

Thanks for all your responses, I do appreciate having a place to vent and get some advice
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Courts are getting more and more open to the idea of allowing parents to appear telephonically...its a recognition of the high cost of traveling for court/mediation etc. Therefore its possible that he could be allowed to appear telephonically.

If he is just a complete no-show then it would move on to court for a judge to make the decisions. If he is a complete no-show in court then you would win by default.

Whenever discussing the case with a court professional you should always focus on the child and what you can do/provide for the child. Badmouthing the other party is a serious no-no.
 
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