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Desperate Need of Help!! Asap

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Kitten11

Junior Member
I live in Michigan. To shorten up the story, my boyfriend has a 4 year old son, that lives with his mother. He sees his son off and on, although there have been no legal visitations set up (because the mother and him are still friends and getting his son has never really been an issue.) My boyfriend obviously pays child support. The only problem is, he has had many jobs some lost because of epilepcy. He pays child support when he can, but he himself is struggling to get on his feet. It's been hard for him because of his seizures and because of an on the job injury to his shoulder. He's VERY far behind on his child support and today (without anything sent in the mail settling for a certain amount like last time) he was arressted and now sits in jail. He can only get out if we pay $5,000!!!!! The only problem is, we ourselves are struggling to survive. We barley have enough to get into a place to live. He WAS going to start a job back up at Kmart and I at a job I've had for the past two summers, but things are looking dim now. We only have about 800 dollars and that was for a place to live!!! So I was wondering if someone could enlighten me on any information as to how I might be able to lower the "bond" or have him agree to pay so much in a certain time. If he could just get out of jail and work at this Kmart job, then we'd be able to get the money quicker. But sitting in a jail cell isn't really helping much!! So is there anyone in my city that I can contact, perhaps write an explanation to basically explaining our situation so that he may get out or have the 5,000 lowered or made in payments??!! Please help. My boyfriend is on his way to a better life, and jail time will only slow that down, if not ruin it for him.
Thanks much, Ally
 


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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
(QUOTE)But sitting in a jail cell isn't really helping much!! (QUOTE)

It doesn't help his child either. He is there for what? You know for what, and hopefully when he gets out he will secure a few more jobs to support his child.

Who is supposed to support his child? Me?, my neighbor? It's not my child.
 
K

Kitten11

Junior Member
well,

o.k. aparently you did not understant. He did pay child support. And he does help support his child when he gets him!!! The mother and he get along great. Having an epileptic seizure isn't really something that he can control. He doesn't like losing his jobs!! He loves his son more than the world. Infact we just had him not even a month ago. He tried to get into a really cool trucking school were he'd make 700 to 900 dollars a week (the school was called SWIFT in TN if you don't believe me!) which would be more than enough to help catch up on his child support. He knows what his responsibilities are, and he isnt trying to run from them! This website is not what I had in mind. I did not realize that I would be getting negative feedback. I was trying to get help. But then what can I expect from free advice. Thank you for your input. I suppose I can't expect more of you, given you don't fully understand the situation. I'll find help somewhere else.
Ally
 
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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Kitten11 said:
o.k. aparently you did not understant. He did pay child support. I understand, and this is a quote from your first post.

(QUOTE)He's VERY far behind on his child support (QUOTE)
Click to expand...
 
K

Kitten11

Junior Member
O.k. Sorry that I dont know how to write to help the readers exactly understand what's going on. Writing never was my strong suit. I said DID pay child support because those were times where he LOST his JOB due to GRAND MAL seizures and therefore had no money coming in even for himself. And when I said he was BACK in his child support, that was again due to the fact that he had seizures as well as a on the job injury. I think you're trying to place him in the stereotype of "All guys that don't pay child support are bad." Well we are nice people. The mother knows he payed. The mother knows he has seizures, she's seen it. The son use to have them as well. Not only do we have (even though it's not legally set) split custody of his son, but my boyfriends mother loves getting him as well. The mother and I are great friends, she knows what's going on. I'm just trying to find help. So I'll disregard all the ones from you, and use the more helpful advice givers. Thanks. Ally
 
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Scorpion44

Junior Member
Hello...

Well, I understand you perfectly Kitten11. There are some good men out there!! Though few, lol! I have a son as well. And the father has had a rough life. He has been with a really nice girl for awhile now (one of the only girlfriend's of his that I've liked!) He as well has a hard time keeping a job because of epilepcy, which I thought was sort of weird! I do understand why it would be hard for you boyfriend to keep a job. As soon as job's find out about it, they fire him I'm sure. And the trucking job, although a great way to get a better start at life and catch up on that child support, I believe requires a person to be completely medication free for 2 years. If the boy's mother is aware what is going on, and she is understanding to why he lost his jobs, then I have no clue what this paradise person is complaining about. It sounds to me like he's been trying hard, as does my boy's father. Sometimes you have to struggle. Paradise--- I'm not trying to be harsh, so please don't write harsh back to me, I'm just curious as to what about Kitten11's case has you all grumpy?? Have some sympathy. Not all guys try to avoid child support. And this guy sees his son, that's alot more than most do! From the sounds of it, he is a struggling guy that does care about his son and has been trying to juggle child support with unfortunate job loses as well as trying to straighten his life out. Atleast he IS trying to make things better. Alot of guys don't even claim the child as there own. Scorpion44
 
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abstract99

Senior Member
Well, there are a few things that need to be addressed here

1) Obviously mom and dad don't get along that well since there is a decent chance that it might have been her that filed the paperwork that caused him to be arrested. If she had not had a caseworker assigned to the CS case to monitor the payments the the chances are not a lot that the arrest warrent was not issued due to her actions in some way.

2) While your BF is in jail you need to do the following:
- Find out how to get copies of his medical records. I am pretty sure that he can sign something that will allow you to get these.
- Talk to a bonds office. They might be able to help you with posting bail. They pretty much give you a loan on the bail, therefore, you will be paying interest in most cases. Call friends, family or whoever and see what they can pitch in to help. See if he can get the bail released and let out on his own recognance.
- See how much info you can get about the reasons for the loss of his jobs. I am pretty suer that he can sign you as a power of attorney and you should be able to get this for him
- Call the DA's Office

3) Some state CS agencies allow you to access your case online. If he gets enrolled in this (you can do it for him if you know all the info to enroll) he can access his payment history. If he has been making payments through the states they will have a record of this. If he has any cash receipts for payments made directly to mom you will need these to.

He needs to take all of this to court and plead his case. Perhaps there needs to be a provision in there about his condition and how it effects his employment. I'm not gunna bull**** you here. He might have a case, he might not. It depends the circumstances of his payments. If he pleads the epelipsy thing as a reason for unemployment the courts might be lienient. He will need to be able to prove that he thoroughly sought out employment and started to make payments as soon as he was re-employed. I wish you luck.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
One thing that struck me - if he can't hold a job due to epileptic seizures, the LAST thing he should be thinking about doing is driving a truck. In fact, many states will not allow an epileptic to drive at all.

The problem here is that there is, apparently a rather substantial arrearage in support. Unfortunately, Dad should have filed for a modification when he lost his job, and not simply stop paying the ordered amount. In addition, this is apparently not the first time that significant arrearages have accrued. The courts get mighty testy when their orders are ignored. Mom may or may not have started the ball rolling. If the support is to be paid through CSE, they may have flags in the system. If Mom ever received state aid for the child, you can bet they're going to go after their money.
 
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abstract99

Senior Member
One thing that struck me - if he can't hold a job due to epileptic seizures, the LAST thing he should be thinking about doing is driving a truck. In fact, many states will not allow an epileptic to drive at all. Yeah I have already made a note to myself to never drive through Michigan. Better safe than sorry. Weird though.
 
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nextwife

Senior Member
I agree with Stealth about the trucking. My dad was subject to Grand Mall siezures following his brain surgerey,and I would never have advocated putting him behind 18 wheels with that possibilty.

I also understanfd why his condition, once an employer has seen him experience a grand mall at work,would give an employer pause.

One question: What income is the CS based upon? Was it a default number based on average wages, or is it based on min. wage or what? Perhaps he needs to go (and should have a long time ago) and document his income and the reason for it to the cour t- if the CS is not respresentative of his income, it should be modified to reflect what he can and does earn.
 
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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
Scorpion44 said:
Well, I understand you perfectly Kitten11. There are some good men out there!! Though few, lol! I have a son as well. And the father has had a rough life. He has been with a really nice girl for awhile now (one of the only girlfriend's of his that I've liked!) He as well has a hard time keeping a job because of epilepcy, which I thought was sort of weird! I do understand why it would be hard for you boyfriend to keep a job. As soon as job's find out about it, they fire him I'm sure. And the trucking job, although a great way to get a better start at life and catch up on that child support, I believe requires a person to be completely medication free for 2 years. If the boy's mother is aware what is going on, and she is understanding to why he lost his jobs, then I have no clue what this paradise person is complaining about. It sounds to me like he's been trying hard, as does my boy's father. Sometimes you have to struggle. Paradise--- I'm not trying to be harsh, so please don't write harsh back to me, I'm just curious as to what about Kitten11's case has you all grumpy??I'm not grumpy, I am just seeing things differently.


My boyfriend obviously pays child support. The only problem is, he has had many jobs some lost because of epilepcy. He pays child support when he can, but he himself is struggling to get on his feet. It's been hard for him because of his seizures and because of an on the job injury to his shoulder. He's VERY far behind on his child support and today (without anything sent in the mail settling for a certain amount like last time) he was arressted and now sits in jail.Have some sympathy. Not all guys try to avoid child support. And this guy sees his son, that's alot more than most do! From the sounds of it, he is a struggling guy that does care about his son and has been trying to juggle child support with unfortunate job loses as well as trying to straighten his life out. Atleast he IS trying to make things better. Alot of guys don't even claim the child as there own. Scorpion44
Click to expand...
I would think Epilepcy would qualify as "Disabled". He let how many support payments lapse?
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Okay, but now I'm getting grumpy! There is no "c" in epilepsy. Just as there is no "i" in team. Tho there is in epilepsy. And both words have an "e". :p
 
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haiku

Senior Member
if he has a clinical diagnosis of epilepsy, he is automatically disqualified from recieving a cdl.
 
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abstract99

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
Okay, but now I'm getting grumpy! There is no "c" in epilepsy. Just as there is no "i" in team. Tho there is in epilepsy. And both words have an "e". :p
Click to expand...

There's no I in team? WHAT??? I got some calls to make.....
 
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