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Ex wants more support

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kornstar1981

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Florida
First of all I apologize B/C this is going to be a long one. I will try to give the most background info I can with the smallest amount of words. :)
My husband has 2 children with his ex-girlfriend(they were never married), now ages 4 and 6. Their break-up was not the most friendly one and has been a battle since day 1. He originally attempted to settle things with her with out going to court(lesson learned) which was very unseccessful. Approx. 7 mnths after thier breakup he filed the nessecary paperwork to have paternity, visitation, and support court ordered. The courts had attempted to serve her the paperwork, which she avoided and the day after filed a restraining order against him(which was granted with no proof, her word vs. his). It took over a year for him to get his original motion heard due to continual postponing on her half. He was than granted eow 4hrs sat, 5 hrs sun with the agreement that overnight visits would later be arranged. His support was ordered at approx. $500 a month which INCLUDES the proper portion for day-care expences. His child support has been paid as ordered through the state(which HE requested). She has denied visits on many occasions, harassed me at my job, spoken poorley to the children about us, etc. The list really could go on. She basically uses the children against him in every way possible. Since that court order was issued my husband and I got married and now have a child of our own. Due to the changes in his family situation, he chose to better himself and career and became a truck driver last May. He makes a good amount of pay, but is not home much. He only comes home about once a month. During the times he is away he attempts to call the children and they are always "busy". When he is home and attempts to see his children(he always gives her notice) she makes excuses why he can't see them. He has only seen them 3 times since May. In July she quit her job to stay home with the children(she has since had another child) and has not sent the children to daycare since then. That's the background and again I sencerily apologize for the legnth, but I feel you must know what kind of person we are dealing with. Now my question:
She is not working, and now wants to send their 4yr old to a private pre-school and wants him to pay for it(Fl offers free pre-school). She says she will take him to court if he doesn't give her an extra $400 per month. Can the courts raise his support payments now that he advanced his career to provide for all aspects of his family? What about the portion for child care that he has been paying since July that she hasn't used? Can he be resposible for private pre-school when there is free pre-school availilbe? Please help, this whole situation has been so stressful since the beginning. He is actually trying to be one of the good guys.
 


Scorpion44

Junior Member
:) hello,

This isn't really any help. I just wanted to tell you that there are a lot of unusual responses and that you shouldn't take offence to any of the ones that are negative. Aparently people have nothing better to do that give negative advice where it is not wanted. I would love for you to read the one posted today by kitten11 and read Your response. You being with a guy that owes child support, you might be able to relate that night all guys are bad. :) Scorpion44
 

abstract99

Senior Member
Can the courts raise his support payments now that he advanced his career to provide for all aspects of his family? The payments can be raised at any time. If his pay has gone up the support will in fact go up also. He might receive some type of income deduction for the new baby (I'm not even gonna bother to look it up but you can do a google search youself to find out, it is all on the web). The deduction of his income, if any, WILL NOT be a lot because you as the other parent are also required to provide 1/2 of the support of you child.

What about the portion for child care that he has been paying since July that she hasn't used? He might get it back but VERY unlikely. He can request that she be required to provide receipts of all child care costs

Can he be resposible for private pre-school when there is free pre-school availilbe? If mom has sole custody this means that if both parents cannot come to a decision then it will fall on her. Chances are that it says somewhere in the CS paperwork that these costs are to be split 50/50. Dad can request that mom be made solely responsanble for the pre-school thing if she wants to do it. I personally think that it is really stupid to send the child to a private pre-school. I cannot for the life of me even comprehend why a private pre-school would even exist. How private are we talking here? Is this private like Kinderkare or private like wear a unifor to pre-school type of thing?

If I were dad I would file for a change in the child support anyway. Even though his income has increased he is now paying for child care that is not being used. The courts will assign mom an income since she is no longer working. He will need to request this because otherwize the courts will not do it.
Dad might be able to file contempt charges (depending on what the visitation order says) for moms denial of visitation and phone contact. The situation that you have would best be handled by a lawyer to ensure that dad is protected. I strongly recomend that dad does not try to do this himself.

I hope it helps. Does that answer all of your questions?
 
Last edited:

kornstar1981

Junior Member
New Guy-- Thank you so much, your advice is definately helpful.
Unfortunatily we have already gone the route with trying to have the daughter we share be counted, but she means nothing in the eyes of FL law :) He does not have a CS order againt him for her(we are married) so the court for whatever reason has refused to recognize his role in supporting her. I am resposible for 100% support in thier eyes. The ex also has another child now, so I guess they kinda would cancel each other out.
The pre-school she wants the 4yr old to go to is held a public school that is not a location that offers the free pre-school. My husband nor I had ever heard of this so we checked it out, it is the only one in the county that charges and the amounts of tuition were acurate to what she told us.
He knows that he needs a lawyer, but our funds have run out fighting the rest of this battle and we still owe my mom $2000 for legal expences that she paid for. As for her having a lawyer, she had sex with hers during the last phase and that is how she paid for him(she openly told us this). So I am sure she will do it again. :) This is the kind of person we are dealing with and my husband swears she was not like this when they were togeather, she used to be a good, Catholic school girl.
Thanks Again!!
 

abstract99

Senior Member
Unfortunatily we have already gone the route with trying to have the daughter we share be counted Some states do it and some states don't, sorry.

she had sex with hers during the last phase and that is how she paid for him Wow, I wonder if I can talk my wife into this for our lawyer! :) :) Just kidding.

This is the kind of person we are dealing with and my husband swears she was not like this when they were togeather, she used to be a good, Catholic school girl. People change, that is why they get divorced. P.S. With me being currently married to a woman that went to catholic school, they are not as good as you might think. :) I think it is the nuns and the rules that make them lash out more at authority when they get older. :rolleyes: GOOD LICK! OOPS I MENT LUCK. :D
 

kornstar1981

Junior Member
Thanks for making me smile! When talking about this stuff, smiles don't come often. :D My husband cries just about every day over all this, his children barely know him and call the father of her new baby Daddy, and all he has done is just fight for rights that should already be his. She is just a spiteful b*tch :) Hopefully as the children grow older they will see thier father for who he really is and see how hard he has tried. We can only hope they don't inherite her spitefullness :) (Sorry, just had to speak my mind for a second)
THANKS AGAIN!!
P.S. I hope your wife kicks your a$$ for that comment about her helping you out with your lawyer fees :) :)
 

kornstar1981

Junior Member
Alright, although I feel morally responsible to let her know, J/K.
BTW, I read your other post and am sorry that your wife is going through all those treatments, but am happy that the cancer is in remission.
 

abstract99

Senior Member
kornstar1981 said:
Alright, although I feel morally responsible to let her know, J/K.
BTW, I read your other post and am sorry that your wife is going through all those treatments, but am happy that the cancer is in remission.
Thanks but the bad thing about her condition is that there is like a 1 in 4000 chance of cancer being part of your genes. The type that she has can spread from organ to organ, it will never go away perminitly (started as toumors on her ovaries but has already moved to her cervix). There will never be an end to this but luckily for me my wife is a very upbeat person. The glass is always 1/2 full not 1/2 empty. I honestly think that more people should look at life the way she does. Never take anything for granted, live each day to the fullest, and don't bitch so much because you never know when it will all be taken away from you. The good people are always rewarded in the end. :)
 

haiku

Senior Member
kornstar1981 said:
What is the name of your state?Florida
First of all I apologize B/C this is going to be a long one. I will try to give the most background info I can with the smallest amount of words. :)
My husband has 2 children with his ex-girlfriend(they were never married), now ages 4 and 6. Their break-up was not the most friendly one and has been a battle since day 1. He originally attempted to settle things with her with out going to court(lesson learned) which was very unseccessful. Approx. 7 mnths after thier breakup he filed the nessecary paperwork to have paternity, visitation, and support court ordered. The courts had attempted to serve her the paperwork, which she avoided and the day after filed a restraining order against him(which was granted with no proof, her word vs. his). It took over a year for him to get his original motion heard due to continual postponing on her half. He was than granted eow 4hrs sat, 5 hrs sun with the agreement that overnight visits would later be arranged. His support was ordered at approx. $500 a month which INCLUDES the proper portion for day-care expences. His child support has been paid as ordered through the state(which HE requested). She has denied visits on many occasions, harassed me at my job, spoken poorley to the children about us, etc. The list really could go on. She basically uses the children against him in every way possible. Since that court order was issued my husband and I got married and now have a child of our own. Due to the changes in his family situation, he chose to better himself and career and became a truck driver last May. He makes a good amount of pay, but is not home much. He only comes home about once a month. During the times he is away he attempts to call the children and they are always "busy". When he is home and attempts to see his children(he always gives her notice) she makes excuses why he can't see them. He has only seen them 3 times since May. In July she quit her job to stay home with the children(she has since had another child) and has not sent the children to daycare since then. That's the background and again I sencerily apologize for the legnth, but I feel you must know what kind of person we are dealing with. Now my question:
She is not working, and now wants to send their 4yr old to a private pre-school and wants him to pay for it(Fl offers free pre-school). She says she will take him to court if he doesn't give her an extra $400 per month. Can the courts raise his support payments now that he advanced his career to provide for all aspects of his family? What about the portion for child care that he has been paying since July that she hasn't used? Can he be resposible for private pre-school when there is free pre-school availilbe? Please help, this whole situation has been so stressful since the beginning. He is actually trying to be one of the good guys.
first off, try here-www.supportguidelines.com, check and swee if it links you to florida's support calculator. or look for child support calculator for FL in Google.

this can give you a rough idea as to what you are or should be paying be fair to your level of income now, and if it is worth going to court over.

until a court order tells you to pay her more money, you can tell her to pound sand.

pre-school is not usually considered mandatory, so it may not be something you have to pay for, and if anything, if you were responsible it should only be for half.

were your husbands ex, take you back to court, and florida is a state where the CP's income counts, you should also request they impute an income on her, to figure child support as if she were working. She too is responsible for her childs financial welfare.

If your husband wishes to utilize visitation, he realy needs to modify for set visitation. reasonable visitation NEVER worls if the parties are not getting along.

As a truck driver he should be able to at least schedule one certain weekend a month with his dispatcher, so he can ask to have it in court. Then when she says no she is in clear contempt and he can take her to court every time she denies him.
 

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