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Military and Grandparents Rights

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M

Mystaphy

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Pennsylvania

I am single mom currently deployed to Iraq. My orders are for a year and a half. I lived with my sons paternal grandparents since birth and until time of deployment. My sons grandparents now are suing me for partial custody, shared legal custody, and primary physical custody. They are trying to state that I left my son " volunetarily for Iraq. I do have a lawyer handling the case but what are their chances of winning and what exactly do they have to prove in order to win. I didnt abandon my child.
 


LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Mystaphy said:
What is the name of your state?Pennsylvania

I am single mom currently deployed to Iraq. My orders are for a year and a half. I lived with my sons paternal grandparents since birth and until time of deployment. My sons grandparents now are suing me for partial custody, shared legal custody, and primary physical custody. They are trying to state that I left my son " volunetarily for Iraq. I do have a lawyer handling the case but what are their chances of winning and what exactly do they have to prove in order to win. I didnt abandon my child.
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This case shouldn't be able to proceed while you are deployed. The law prohibits that.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Her attorney can say what they want but you must answer some questions first before any advice is given.
Do you have an attorney representing you?
Have you invoked the SSCRA? Have you gone to JAG?
Have you established paternity by marriage or with DNA or by the father signing a paternity acknowledgement?
Do you have a court order establishing custody, child support, visitation?
Who was made the child's tempoary guardian in the event of deployment?
What are the father's obligations toward child support and uncovered medical expenses.
Deployment is not abandonment, nor is it a change in residence.
 
M

Mystaphy

Junior Member
Her attorney can say what they want but you must answer some questions first before any advice is given.
Do you have an attorney representing you? Yes i have
Have you invoked the SSCRA? JAG tried lawyer declined stating that "he hoped we (grandmother and I) could come to an agreement
Have you gone to JAG? Yes they tried to envoke SSCRA but other lawyer continued with the case
Have you established paternity by marriage or with DNA or by the father signing a paternity acknowledgement? sons father signed a paternity acknowledment
Do you have a court order establishing custody, child support, visitation? no court order
Who was made the child's tempoary guardian in the event of deployment? The partner of my sons grandmother. (they live in the same house and she supports the grandmother)
What are the father's obligations toward child support and uncovered medical expenses. None. I had to stop his support payments and when he paid it wasnt much.

I know i have a lawyer representing this case I only posted the message because maybe someone else out there is in a similar situation and it can help them.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Your answers raise more questions than they answer and what ever your intent, this thread helps no one other than to confuse. Hopefully you have a competent attorney and you have told them the truth.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Mystaphy said:
Her attorney can say what they want but you must answer some questions first before any advice is given.
Do you have an attorney representing you? Yes i have
Have you invoked the SSCRA? JAG tried lawyer declined stating that "he hoped we (grandmother and I) could come to an agreement
Have you gone to JAG? Yes they tried to envoke SSCRA but other lawyer continued with the case
Have you established paternity by marriage or with DNA or by the father signing a paternity acknowledgement? sons father signed a paternity acknowledment
Do you have a court order establishing custody, child support, visitation? no court order
Who was made the child's tempoary guardian in the event of deployment? The partner of my sons grandmother. (they live in the same house and she supports the grandmother)
What are the father's obligations toward child support and uncovered medical expenses. None. I had to stop his support payments and when he paid it wasnt much.

I know i have a lawyer representing this case I only posted the message because maybe someone else out there is in a similar situation and it can help them.
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Are you saying that JAG tried to invoke SSCRA and your civilian attorney said no and proceeded with the case????
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
LdiJ said:
Are you saying that JAG tried to invoke SSCRA and your civilian attorney said no and proceeded with the case????
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I don't think we can assume anything from what OP has said. None of the facts add up and there are some big gaps and inconsistancies. Here is her other thread. Mind you, there are no court orders for custody, child support or visitation for dad, although paternity was established by signed acknowledgement. Dad is not the guardian and is not making any child support payments or medical. https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=235849
 
M

Mystaphy

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
Your answers raise more questions than they answer and what ever your intent, this thread helps no one other than to confuse. Hopefully you have a competent attorney and you have told them the truth.
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How am i confusing people. I lived with the paternal grandmother and her partner from the time of my sons birth until the time I deployed. She is trying to establish grandparents rights. She pretty much waits until I leave the country to file stating I abandoned the child and left for active duty. I have the family care plan signed by the partner and notarized. The grandmother tells me she only wants visitation rights and her pleading states she wanted primary physical custody, shared legal, and partial custody. She is also suing my son's father. She'll win on his part because he doesnt want responsibilty.
She has a granddaughter three years older than my son and she doesnt know the whereabouts because the other mother took off. The woman didnt have money for a lawyer to fight for visitation rights for her other grandchild. All of a sudden she has money (the child support money ive been sending her) for a lawyer to fight me while I am here in IRAQ. I would understand her trying to get vistitation rights when I come back from IRAQ but why do it now. She doesnt work. Shes been trying to get SSI and they denied her. Her partner owns the house and takes care of her and thats why I left my child in her care not the grandmother. But the grandmother gets to see the child on a daily basis because she lives in the same house as the partner. So I dont see how a lawyer could have taken the case to begin with. From what I was reading about grandparents rights is that they can request a hearing, when the child has been abanonded or neglected and when the child has lived with them for the past twelve months and the parents take them out of the house. Thats how they can fight for partial custody. But from my understanding of the law they would have had to been raising the child in order to envoke grandparents rights. I have taken care of my child since birth. The only reason on her pleading that states why she should get partial custody, shared legal, and primary physical custody is that I voluntarily left custody of my child in her care ( in which i did not i left it in her partners care) and left for active duty. I am a reservist. I joined the military before I had my child and before I met them. I didnt all of a sudden go active duty.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
Mystaphy said:
How am i confusing people. I lived with the paternal grandmother and her partner from the time of my sons birth until the time I deployed. She is trying to establish grandparents rights. She pretty much waits until I leave the country to file stating I abandoned the child and left for active duty. I have the family care plan signed by the partner and notarized. The grandmother tells me she only wants visitation rights and her pleading states she wanted primary physical custody, shared legal, and partial custody. She is also suing my son's father. She'll win on his part because he doesnt want responsibilty.
She has a granddaughter three years older than my son and she doesnt know the whereabouts because the other mother took off. The woman didnt have money for a lawyer to fight for visitation rights for her other grandchild. All of a sudden she has money (the child support money ive been sending her) for a lawyer to fight me while I am here in IRAQ. I would understand her trying to get vistitation rights when I come back from IRAQ but why do it now. She doesnt work. Shes been trying to get SSI and they denied her. Her partner owns the house and takes care of her and thats why I left my child in her care not the grandmother. But the grandmother gets to see the child on a daily basis because she lives in the same house as the partner. So I dont see how a lawyer could have taken the case to begin with. From what I was reading about grandparents rights is that they can request a hearing, when the child has been abanonded or neglected and when the child has lived with them for the past twelve months and the parents take them out of the house. Thats how they can fight for partial custody. But from my understanding of the law they would have had to been raising the child in order to envoke grandparents rights. I have taken care of my child since birth. The only reason on her pleading that states why she should get partial custody, shared legal, and primary physical custody is that I voluntarily left custody of my child in her care ( in which i did not i left it in her partners care) and left for active duty. I am a reservist. I joined the military before I had my child and before I met them. I didnt all of a sudden go active duty.
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I find this case disturbing. While there may be more to this story than we are being told (I have no opinion one way or another on that), this case clearly violates SSCRA. What's more, I do not see how it would be possible for a judge to support the theory of abandonment here. The military "family care plan" should clearly eliminate that possibility. I sincerely hope that you have a good attorney, and that your attorney plans to continue to push for invoking SSCRA despite the other attorney's opposition.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
You really need to get JAG to invoke SSCRA, you should not have the grandmother's attorney calling the shots out of ignorance. Also see if there is any way you could get hardship leave to return? Is there anyone else who could be the guardian of the child? You really should have established custody and child support orders for the father prior to deployment, he should be responsible for half the child's support and certainally the guardian could do that now. It sounds as if you got caught in the middle not only in a case of an unemployed grandmother with an irresponsible deadbeat son (your shild's father), but also a domestic partnership. There is no question that she will be able to establish a significant relationship and visitation, but abandonment should not even be an issue. You should have been able to invoke SSCRA and not have to retain an attorney until you return. The Grandmother should be paying all the attorney's costs for her frivolous lawsuit, has your attorney attempted to have the case dismissed? When are you scheduled to return? Do you have a job to return to?
 
M

Mystaphy

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
You really need to get JAG to invoke SSCRA, you should not have the grandmother's attorney calling the shots out of ignorance. Also see if there is any way you could get hardship leave to return? Is there anyone else who could be the guardian of the child? You really should have established custody and child support orders for the father prior to deployment, he should be responsible for half the child's support and certainally the guardian could do that now. It sounds as if you got caught in the middle not only in a case of an unemployed grandmother with an irresponsible deadbeat son (your shild's father), but also a domestic partnership. There is no question that she will be able to establish a significant relationship and visitation, but abandonment should not even be an issue. You should have been able to invoke SSCRA and not have to retain an attorney until you return. The Grandmother should be paying all the attorney's costs for her frivolous lawsuit, has your attorney attempted to have the case dismissed? When are you scheduled to return? Do you have a job to return to?
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Im glad someone else find something wrong with this case too. I wish I had someone else too look after my son but i dont have anybody all my family is out of state. My lawyer put in my pleading that this case should be dismissed the hearing is sometime next month. I do feel a little bit better dealing with it now rather than dealing with it when i return from home just to get it out of the way. I did establish a custody order from the day my son was born but domestic relations said because he was not living with me while I am deployed I had to close the case. DR said that she could open a case against him(well the person who has guardianship of my child). I dont have a job at the moment I am a senior in college I have 30 credits to go. I did ask my lawyer about suing her for the cost of this suit but he said I wouldn't win. Im supposed to be back around march next year.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Mystaphy said:
Im glad someone else find something wrong with this case too. I wish I had someone else too look after my son but i dont have anybody all my family is out of state. My lawyer put in my pleading that this case should be dismissed the hearing is sometime next month. I do feel a little bit better dealing with it now rather than dealing with it when i return from home just to get it out of the way. I did establish a custody order from the day my son was born but domestic relations said because he was not living with me while I am deployed I had to close the case. DR said that she could open a case against him(well the person who has guardianship of my child). I dont have a job at the moment I am a senior in college I have 30 credits to go. I did ask my lawyer about suing her for the cost of this suit but he said I wouldn't win. Im supposed to be back around march next year.
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PLEASE, contact JAG and get this straightened out. Please see your other thread on the military forum, bad apple is a military attorney, his first response to you there was based on less information than here, it is really easier to keep one thread going.

Contact Domestic Relations in PA, your deployment or who the father is living with has nothing to do with his responsibility for child support unless you took some action to terminate parental rights. Handling this remotely even with representation is difficult, are you sure your attorney is familiar with SSCRA?

You should only be responsible for 1/2 the child support and the father responsible for the other half, same for uncovered medical bills. But if there is no child support order in place you send what you send, do you have an allotment sent?

Please understand that since the biodad has no custody rights or orders, the child does not have to remain in the same state so you could have another guardian in your family plan and you may want to make arrangements to change the guardian to someone in your family, SSCRA allows for your residency and that of your dependents to remain stable no matter where you are located and you have several options including your permenant residence if it is out of state. Both the civilian attorneys don't seem to have a grasp on the implications and protections of SSCRA and therefore are continuing as if there was no protection under SSCRA. This should be dismissed and you should get all your legal costs paid because there was no reason to bring the suit in the first place.

Please go to JAG.
 
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