crazyfutureMIL

Teta · Apr 6, 2005

What is the name of your state?New Jersey My fiance's mother is taking us to court for grandparenting time. She was never denied to see the baby. She just doesn't like me and she has been doing everything in her power to make me flip out. She has came to our house with the police, saying she wants her personal belongings(which was a steam cleaner she gave me 2 yrs ago), she has sent my fiance's ex-girlfriend to his job, threatened to cus me out in front of everyone at my job,etc. I finally put a harrassment charge on her. She has never really spent quality time w/ our daughter and she has told me before that she would take our daughter away and we will never see her again. I don't trust the lady and I don't want her to see our child now. I am the natural mother. She is a very aggressive person and she always gets her way. I need to know if I can deny her that right and what happens from there. She takes a bunch of medications and goes to a psychiatrist that always tells her that everything she does is right. I can't afford a lawyer.
Sorry for writing out of order. I spoke to a paralegal and she told me that there is no actual law in NJ for grandparenting rights. Should I deny her the visits? Thanks in advance for all your help! PLEASE HELP!

BelizeBreeze · Apr 6, 2005

Your husband needs to grow a few. Grandparents have NO RIGHTS in an intact family save what the parents allow.

Tell MIL to BITE ROCKS.

LdiJ · Apr 6, 2005

Teta said:
What is the name of your state?New Jersey My fiance's mother is taking us to court for grandparenting time. She was never denied to see the baby. She just doesn't like me and she has been doing everything in her power to make me flip out. She has came to our house with the police, saying she wants her personal belongings(which was a steam cleaner she gave me 2 yrs ago), she has sent my fiance's ex-girlfriend to his job, threatened to cus me out in front of everyone at my job,etc. I finally put a harrassment charge on her. She has never really spent quality time w/ our daughter and she has told me before that she would take our daughter away and we will never see her again. I don't trust the lady and I don't want her to see our child now. I am the natural mother. She is a very aggressive person and she always gets her way. I need to know if I can deny her that right and what happens from there. She takes a bunch of medications and goes to a psychiatrist that always tells her that everything she does is right. I can't afford a lawyer.
Sorry for writing out of order. I spoke to a paralegal and she told me that there is no actual law in NJ for grandparenting rights. Should I deny her the visits? Thanks in advance for all your help! PLEASE HELP!

Ok...Belize got that slightly wrong...but the spirit of his message is still true.
Since you and your fiance are not yet married you don't quite meet the definition of "intact". However, if you are both opposed to any court ordered visitation for grandma....and grandma doesn't have an ESTABLISHED long term relationship with the child, then it would be harder than nails for grandma to win a visitation case.

The paralegal was correct that there is no law in NJ that gives grandparents any automatic rights. However there is a law in NJ that allows grandparents to SUE for rights....but again...she has to prove an established long term relationship with the child.

So, stand your ground. At this point grandma has no rights at all and you can safely make whatever decision you feel is best for your child. If grandma were to sue the burden of proof would be on her to prove that your decision was not in the child's best interest.

BelizeBreeze · Apr 7, 2005

LdiJ said:
Ok...Belize got that slightly wrong...but the spirit of his message is still true.
Since you and your fiance are not yet married you don't quite meet the definition of "intact". However, if you are both opposed to any court ordered visitation for grandma....and grandma doesn't have an ESTABLISHED long term relationship with the child, then it would be harder than nails for grandma to win a visitation case.

The paralegal was correct that there is no law in NJ that gives grandparents any automatic rights. However there is a law in NJ that allows grandparents to SUE for rights....but again...she has to prove an established long term relationship with the child.

So, stand your ground. At this point grandma has no rights at all and you can safely make whatever decision you feel is best for your child. If grandma were to sue the burden of proof would be on her to prove that your decision was not in the child's best interest.

Except that the court has, since troxel, has never defined 'intact' as married. So, as long as this couple is living together with plans to marry and they can substantiate the bond between them, the only chance the MIL has is through the ex daughter in law.

That's what I was referring to. And I agree, it would be clearer were we talking about two single parents and no third-party.

crazyfutureMIL

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Teta

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BelizeBreeze

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LdiJ

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BelizeBreeze

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