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adoption

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precious82700

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?FL
My husband adopted his son thru his previous marriage but now he has custody of him he is six ( was two months when adopted) now.The problem is that his mother has brought his biological father in the picture for spite.He has told my step son that my husband isn't his real father and he is confused cause he is mixed so he doesn't really understand why he has a brown father and a white father .His mother makes him call my husband by his first name not dad.It takes a couple of days to get him to call him dad.HE loves his dad but he is just confused because of what his mom is doing.My question is what legal right does my husband have to keep this man away from is son.His right were servered because he couldnot be located and was paying no child sopport.It was all done legally.MY step son's mother has brought this other man in because she is mad cause my husband has custody,but there is a reason why he has him and not her. please some one help because it isn't fair to my step son cause he is too young to know this right now.He was five years old when she told him and introduced him to his biological father.There must be some way to protect my step son
 


nextwife

Senior Member
Has hubby sat down and explained adoprtion in age appreopriate language? My 7 year old is Romani (Gypsy), and considerably darker than hubby and I, but she clearly understands that the mommy and daddy who "made her" aren't her mommy and daddy who love and raise her.

It si important that the child's "adoption story" in some way be shared with them, so they understand and are comfortable with it. Hubby can show his son the birth certificate and SHOW him that he IS his REAL"daddy", who loves and takes care of him, but the other person is the daddy who made him. Kids can understand at their level at six. MIne understands why she doesn't look like mommy and daddy, just as our friends who adopted from Cambodia and China have made their children comfortable about looking different from Mommy and Daddy.

He needs to get some adoption reading material that might help him use appropriate adoption language and help his child understand his adoption story.

Dad must be very firm about the fact that HE IS daddy-the child's legal birth certificate says so. And that this other man is not considered his daddy and that the law says he's not.

She is attempting to discredit daddy and show disdain for his place in the childs life. I also suggest counseling.

When my daughter was much younger, one of the books we read to her was "Are You My Mother?, and "A Mother for Choco". There are many books that make it clear that adoptive Mommys and Daddys can look very different from their babies, yet they still will love them forever.

http://adoptionshop.com/p210/adoption-books-for-children-talking-to-kids-about-adoption/you-re-not-my-real-mother.html
 
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