Want to change childs last name!

What is the name of your state? Missouri

When I met my now wife, she already had a daughter of a few months. We are using my last name as hers now that we are married. We are waiting to file for a complete name change because the biological father is partially in the Childs life, but we are not sure if he will consent.

The father left his beautiful girl behind and moved to another state. He only sees her once every 6 weeks, she is a one year old. Forget the fact that he could care less about her on a day to day basis.... My wife and I have just had another girl and the name change makes sense now more than ever. In addition, her daughter calls me dad.

If we wait another few years to legally change her name, but keep using my last name until we file, will this cause a problem when we file?

Let me just say that I love this little girl as my own. Her bio father has never once asked me about my skills as father. My insurance alreadys shows her as having my last name and this is the way she is enrolled in day care, among other things. The only place the bios name shows up is on the birth record.

Thanks in advance,

Justin R.
Columbia, MO

http://www.ilrg.com/forms/namechange-minor/us/mo

I am not a lawyer. good luck!

Without the father's consent I am sorry but I don't see it happening. I have 3 children from my first marriage and one from my marriage now and we are able to use the different names just fine. It's really not that tricky and quite common place in this day and time. The father IS involved in the child's life even if you don't think it is often enough. It is HIS child not your's and like it or not that is the child's name.

hmm

We are not using and never have used the bio's last name. My wife refuses to do so. On insurance cards it is my name, at school, my last name, and the same at the doctor, family, friends, airport, etc.

We are simply asking if this will hurt us when we file for the name change.

On a side note, when our other child is born it will be painful and awkard for the daughter we have no to have a last name that is not used anywhere in the family. I will not allow her to be outcast at such an early age.

I do not ned judgement just help with facts.

The facts are simple. The child has a father. Her name cannot be changed from what is her LEGAL name on her birth certificate without her father's consent. That y'all decided to just use a different name is moot. Mommy should have handled this issue long ago.

We just learned fro our attorney that the bio father will need to prove that his daughter's name should remain the same. Just being the father is not enough. If we are able to prove that it is better for her if her named is changed then the court will most likely grant this petition. The Missouri laws are usually in the favor of fathers, but because the bio essentially abandoned his daughter and moved to Florida he has lost a great deal of fighting power. In addition, he is single, and has no other children.

Our stability, growing family and deep roots here in Columbia definitely tip the scale in our favor.

Our attorney thinks that a man who leaves his child behind will loose dramatically.

Has anyone else shared a situation like this?

Your "attorney" is going to make some $$$ from telling you what you want to hear, dude.

And you will enjoy hiring another attorney when your current wife decides that she cannot bear the thought of *her* children using your name, either.

Seriously, think a minute. If she does it to him (or tries to), she'll do it to you.

Wow. What judgment. This is the most cynical and sad place I have ever joined. You haven no advice. Just attitude and anger. Stop living in fear and become proactive!

I am in Indiana and have looked into the Name change for my son. So similar but different. My son will be 12 in July. His bf has made the choice back in summer of '02 where son ranks in his life. He has two other children to support and knows that my husband and myself will support our son in ALL AREAS so it is like he just not come around anymore. Support, we get only when he works and we catch him at a job long enough. Since June of '02 he reappeared (with forces pushing him...aka his mom and Grandmother) Jan. '04...took me to court citing Contempt (that was denied, he was in jail 3 times that I was aware of, fled the state when one warrant was out for him, didn't contact courts or me as to his address changes) but in court I asked for visitation to be resumed IF that was what he wanted.

Those were phased in and lasted 2 months...then nothing since...well, he pays partial support payments at this time.

But, son wants to have his last name changed to mine (mine is my maiden name hyphen married name). I was told by our attorney b/c of son's age we could do this w/o dad's consent. We actually looked into my husband adopting son but I am unsure what that would do...

actingfunny1 said:

In addition, he is single, and has no other children.

***What in the world makes this relevant to removing HIS name from HIS child?

Our stability, growing family and deep roots here in Columbia definitely tip the scale in our favor.

***So whoever has the biggest passel of kids wins the name game?

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one thing I haven't seen mentioned, does dad pay his court ordered support? If he does your argument about him running off and abandoning her does not hold much water.

He only sees her once every 6 weeks, she is a one year old

You say the father lives in Florida and the child lives in Missouri with you and your wife right? I have to tell you that a judge will be very impressed with a father who manages to see his child every 6 weeks with that kind of distance to travel.

You need to do some research on what the laws in your state consider to be abandonement. I think you will learn that your opinion differs from that of the law. I'm not dogging on you, just trying to prepare you for the fact that morally nor legally has this father abandoned his child.

To be truthful it sounds as if he is putting effort intio remaining in the child's life as best he can given the situation.


In addition, he is single, and has no other children.

Why do you think this would go against him? He could very well argue that you are trying to take his place in the life of the only child he has. That is a better arguement than you would have. Being single with no other children does not negate a man's right to have his child carry his name.


Our attorney thinks that a man who leaves his child behind will loose dramatically.

He hasn't left his child behind. Any state law governing abandonement gives strengent guidelines as to what is considered abandonement. In no state will you find that a father who sees his child every six weeks is considered guilty of abandonement.

You have found yourself an attorney who is interested in generating some income. He is going to tell you what you want to hear, take your money and then say "sorry" when you lose in court. Be very careful and get yourself several opinions before you hand over any cash.

On a side note, when our other child is born it will be painful and awkard for the daughter we have no to have a last name that is not used anywhere in the family. I will not allow her to be outcast at such an early age.

This little girl you are talking about is only a year old. NOTHING is painful and awkward for her unless her diaper is full or her tummy is empty. She is not even at an age where she knows what a last name is.

Whether or not this little girl ever feels like an outcast is completely up to you. It has nothing to do with the last name she will carry and everything to do with the attitude of you and your wife. A child can't feel what they have not been taught to feel in a situation like this. If you make her last name an issue to her then she is going to take it on as an issue.

I'm not trying to be cynical and judgemental with you. I'm giving you honest advice. You have a situation where the father visits the child regularly, seems interested in having his child be a part of his life and unless he gives permission for a name change it isn't going to happen based on the fact that you love her as your own and don't think he is a good parent. Sorry

No one here answered you with anger as you said. You were given CORRECT legal advice and just didn't happen to like the answer you were given. My baby does not feel like an outcast because she has a different last name than her siblings. Do you know why? Because she is shown that every second of everyday that she is is a part of this family. As I stated before different names in a family is common. You ARE NOT her father. She has a FATHER. Who from what you have stated is attempting to stay in her life. It is great that you love her so much. It really is. Love her as your own but realize that she has her own father. Be a good-stepfather and encourage that relationship as much as you can. She is lucky to have two men in her life who love her but don't try and take away something she has in common with her daddy. His name.

I guesss I forgot to mention, she calls me dad, and the father does not pay support nor ever has. We have refrained from court so her mom has all of the rights and say at this time. The only rights he has are the ones she gives him thank god. Also, they were never married.

If there is someone out there that can help with a WAY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, then that is what I am looking for. Not just the obstacles, but someone help me with a plan for making this work.

actingfunny1 said:

I guesss I forgot to mention, she calls me dad, and the father does not pay support nor ever has. We have refrained from court so her mom has all of the rights and say at this time. The only rights he has are the ones she gives him thank god. Also, they were never married.

If there is someone out there that can help with a WAY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, then that is what I am looking for. Not just the obstacles, but someone help me with a plan for making this work.

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<beating my head against the monitor>