3 weeks from new baby arrival--problem has arose!

What is the name of your state?Indiana
We are three weeks away from the birth of a baby boy we are adopting.We have adopted twice before,interstate adoptions of special needs,but feel fairly confident with adoption jargon.We are working with an attorney(ours)and the birth mother has also utilized him for all the paperwork also.We have had signed as many of the consents allowable at this point--but this week our birth mom started calling our attorney office asking about how we deal with the living expenses due her.We had never discussed any king of living expense arrangement,and I've talked to her since january.We have awarded guardianship of the child until we apply for and obtain the parent status upon finilization.I just need to know what,if any,birth mom living expenses are in my state andis there a point when it's too bad the birth mom didn't speak up sooner?

aglaze said:

What is the name of your state?Indiana
We are three weeks away from the birth of a baby boy we are adopting.We have adopted twice before,interstate adoptions of special needs,but feel fairly confident with adoption jargon.We are working with an attorney(ours)and the birth mother has also utilized him for all the paperwork also.We have had signed as many of the consents allowable at this point--but this week our birth mom started calling our attorney office asking about how we deal with the living expenses due her.We had never discussed any king of living expense arrangement,and I've talked to her since january.We have awarded guardianship of the child until we apply for and obtain the parent status upon finilization.I just need to know what,if any,birth mom living expenses are in my state andis there a point when it's too bad the birth mom didn't speak up sooner?

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In a private adoption its not uncommon for the adopting parents to provide support to the pregnant bio-mom. Most likely someone has brought this to the bio-mom's attention and that is why she is inquiring. Since you have adopted twice before I am sure that you are aware that until the final papers are signed after the baby is born, the bio-mom can still change her mind. Therefore THAT is the point where its "too bad the birth mom didn't speak up sooner."

aglaze said:

What is the name of your state?Indiana
We are three weeks away from the birth of a baby boy we are adopting.We have adopted twice before,interstate adoptions of special needs,but feel fairly confident with adoption jargon.We are working with an attorney(ours)and the birth mother has also utilized him for all the paperwork also.We have had signed as many of the consents allowable at this point--but this week our birth mom started calling our attorney office asking about how we deal with the living expenses due her.We had never discussed any king of living expense arrangement,and I've talked to her since january.We have awarded guardianship of the child until we apply for and obtain the parent status upon finilization.I just need to know what,if any,birth mom living expenses are in my state andis there a point when it's too bad the birth mom didn't speak up sooner?

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There is something very wrong here. Where on earth did you get the idea that the birthmother has no rights, or be entitled to independent counsel? That you can somehow, because she has cooporated in the adoption process in advance of the child's birth, essentially steal her child without even paying for her living expenses to bear you a healthy child? No matter whether it is a private adoption or not, there are expenses involved with an adoption. NO doubt your attorney is getting paid for this.

There is something fishy going on here. I find it difficult to believe that you would be so ignorant of normal adoption proceedures after adopting 2 children already or that you would be allowed to adopt so many children without knowing proceedures if it was letigimate.

First of all---I didn't come to this forum ,with a question, to be attacked and judged.Secondly--there is nothing fishy about this situation at all,and both adoptions of our other children were legitimate.My only question was concerning the living expenses of the birth mom,and in Indiana what IS considered "living expenses" and if there is a cap $ amount on those expenses.I never said or even illuded to the fact that I thought she wasn't entitled to independant counsel or her "rights".She is the one who wanted to use our attorney,and also FYI the baby isn't a "healthy"child she's having for us--and we most certainly aren't "stealing"him.There has been substantial cost involved already----maybe you should get off your high horse and quit freaking out,and trust me...we are fully aware and certainly not ignorant of the processes and procedures surrounding adoption.All I wanted to know was simply based on the fact that guardianship has already been granted us,through the court---was is the typical amount of the living expenses allowed to a birth mom?
Calm down.

aglaze said:

First of all---I didn't come to this forum ,with a question, to be attacked and judged.Secondly--there is nothing fishy about this situation at all,and both adoptions of our other children were legitimate.My only question was concerning the living expenses of the birth mom,and in Indiana what IS considered "living expenses" and if there is a cap $ amount on those expenses.I never said or even illuded to the fact that I thought she wasn't entitled to independant counsel or her "rights".She is the one who wanted to use our attorney,and also FYI the baby isn't a "healthy"child she's having for us--and we most certainly aren't "stealing"him.There has been substantial cost involved already----maybe you should get off your high horse and quit freaking out,and trust me...we are fully aware and certainly not ignorant of the processes and procedures surrounding adoption.All I wanted to know was simply based on the fact that guardianship has already been granted us,through the court---was is the typical amount of the living expenses allowed to a birth mom?
Calm down.

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What did you pay for living expenses for the other children you adopted? Why is this child not healthy if it isn't born yet?

Birth Parent Expenses Allowed
Statute: § 35-46-1-9(b)

* Attorney fees.
* Hospital and medical costs.
* Reasonable expenses for counseling.
* Travel and maternity clothes.
* Agency fees.
* Living expenses.
* Lost wages if leaving a job is made necessary by medical complications of the pregnancy.

Birth Parent Expenses Not Allowed

Statute: § 35-46-1-9(b), (c)
* Compensation for lost wages shall be offset by living expenses paid and any unemployment compensation to which mother is entitled.
* Total expenses paid shall not exceed $3,000 unless approved by the court.
* Payment of living expenses shall not extend beyond 6 weeks after the birth.

Allowable Payments for Relinquishing Child

Statute: § 35-46-1-9(a)

* Except for expenses allowed, it is unlawful to transfer or receive property for waiving parental rights or consenting to adoption.

Allowable Fees Charged by Department/Agency

Statute: § 31-19-2-8

* The petitioner for adoption must attach to the petition an adoption history fee of $20 and a putative father registry fee of $50, payable to the Department of Health.

Accounting of Expenses Required by Court

Statute: § 35-46-1-9(c)

* All fees and expenses paid must be disclosed to the court supervising the adoption.


Credits: National Adoption Information Clearinghouse