Step-Parent Adoption: Biofather Abandons Child, Then Comes Back (Sort of)

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

Here's the story... Dianne and Thomas are together for a couple years, Dianne gets pregnant. During the pregnancy, Thomas loses his temper during an argument and begins destroying the house. Dianne kicks him out.

In February of 2004, Emily is born. Thomas drops in a couple times early on, although he spent more time arguing with Dianne than visiting his daughter. One time, he brought diapers. No other support was ever offered or received.

After about April of 2004, the visits stopped. Dianne soon began dating Giovanni, and the two got engaged in March of 2005. The two would like to get married in December of 2005 and Giovanni would like to adopt Emily.

Recently, Dianne got a letter from her county's attorney's office asking her to turn over any information she has about Thomas because they want to pursue him for child support and medical expenses (Dianne also receives day care assistance and the state wants to recoup some losses). Dianne gave them this information.

Here's the question: As of now, because Thomas has willfully had no contact with Emily nor has he paid any support, he has legally abandoned her, which would be cause for a court to terminate his parental rights. If the state manages to force him to pay child support, will that essentially mean that he has not abandoned his child any more, and should be able to exercise full parental rights? As a matter of pride, Thomas is unlikely to consent to an adoption (only the prospect of not paying any further child support might sway him).


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We don't do homework.

And on top of what BB said the assessment is wrong. The father has not qualified to have legally abandoned the child unless all the information hasn't been given out. If paternity hasn't been established then he's not legally the father, let alone legally abandoned the child. Also without a court order he's not legally bound to provide support for said child that again has not been proven to be his. You can figure out all the other reasons why this can't be done.

BelizeBreeze said:

We don't do homework.

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Thanks for the help, genius.

tigger22472 said:

And on top of what BB said the assessment is wrong. The father has not qualified to have legally abandoned the child unless all the information hasn't been given out. If paternity hasn't been established then he's not legally the father, let alone legally abandoned the child.

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Okay, please clarify this, I am interested... what you are saying is that if Thomas knows that Emily is his daughter but has not paid support, has not made efforts to visit her, has refused to take blood tests to prove/disprove paternity... he has not legally abandoned her because he has not been legally proven to be the father? But if Dianne and Giovanni petition the court so Giovanni can adopt Emily, Thomas can still step into the picture and prevent it?

Also without a court order he's not legally bound to provide support for said child that again has not been proven to be his.

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Dianne is not worried about the child support. She simply wants him to waive parental rights so that Giovanni can adopt Emily. However, whether he's "legally bound" or not, he knows that Emily is his daughter and he is making the choice not to support her. If he feels uncertainty about whether or not Emily truly is his daughter, he can have a DNA test to confirm or refute that, but has willfully chosen not to do so. However, he has never expressed any such uncertainty. His choice to not visit and not support a child that he knows to be his reveals a lot about his character even if he was under no legal obligation to fulfill his parental duties.

After some period of time, it is likely the state attorney's office will be successful in proving that he is the father of this child and/or Thomas will attempt to intervene to prevent the adoption for the sake of vindictiveness. The question is, how difficult would it be for Giovanni to adopt Emily if her biological father opposes it, even if the biological father has nothing to do with her?


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Unless Thomas spent 24/7 with Dianne in the weeks around conception, or kept her chained in the basement with padlocks and deadbolts all over, Thomas cannot KNOW that he is the father. If he is not legally the father, he cannot legally have abandoned the child. Which part of this is difficult to understand?

At anytime, Dianne had just as much right as thomas to petition the court for thomas to pay child support, when she initially turned to the state for help.

As someone familiar with the forms you have to fill out for assorted state aid, they make it pretty clear they would like you to name dad so that he can pay his share of the childs needs. So Dianne had to know that this day may someday come.

no matter when Thomas finally steps up to the plate, he will have to declare paternity, either willingly, or with a DNA test.

Even if the state were not already involved, dianne would have to properly notify all potential fathers of Emily, to give them a chance to step forward and claim paternity, before giovanni can adopt her.

So there is no legal way out of Thomas coming forward to declare his paternity for Emily.

stealth2 said:

Unless Thomas spent 24/7 with Dianne in the weeks around conception, or kept her chained in the basement with padlocks and deadbolts all over, Thomas cannot KNOW that he is the father. If he is not legally the father, he cannot legally have abandoned the child. Which part of this is difficult to understand?

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He "knows" in the sense that he has said "I know I am the father". He knows in the sense that he tattooed the baby's name on his arm. A DNA test will bear this out, as well; however, he has not yet taken one. Disregarding whether or not he is *legally* the father, he is *factually* the father, something which can and eventually will be proven.

The facts remain as follows:
- He is the father
- He believes he is the father
- He has not expressed doubt that he is the father
- He has thus far chosen not to take a DNA test to either prove or disprove paternity
- He has not supported the child materially or financially
- He has not chosen to visit the child in over a year, despite being free to do so
- In very real terms, he has abandonded this child. Whether or not he has legally abandoned the child is an matter for the court to decide

Additionally, I'm sensing a great deal of hostility on your part, none of which is warranted.

haiku said:

So Dianne had to know that this day may someday come.

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She did, and has cooperated with the agency and has answered all their questions truthfully and completely.

Even if the state were not already involved, dianne would have to properly notify all potential fathers of Emily, to give them a chance to step forward and claim paternity, before giovanni can adopt her.

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Thomas is the only potential father of Emily.

So there is no legal way out of Thomas coming forward to declare his paternity for Emily.

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True, but once he declares his paternity, does he then have the standing to block the adoption despite his choice to have nothing to do with Emily?

BBR04 said:

He "knows" in the sense that he has said "I know I am the father". He knows in the sense that he tattooed the baby's name on his arm. A DNA test will bear this out, as well; however, he has not yet taken one. Disregarding whether or not he is *legally* the father, he is *factually* the father, something which can and eventually will be proven.

The facts remain as follows:
- He is the father
- He believes he is the father
- He has not expressed doubt that he is the father
- He has thus far chosen not to take a DNA test to either prove or disprove paternity
- He has not supported the child materially or financially
- He has not chosen to visit the child in over a year, despite being free to do so
- In very real terms, he has abandonded this child. Whether or not he has legally abandoned the child is an matter for the court to decide

Additionally, I'm sensing a great deal of hostility on your part, none of which is warranted.

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"Factually" is moot when it comes to a court of law. The only thing that matters is that he is found to LEGALLY be the father. Via either DNA test or admitting paternity to the judge.

That said, yes, as the father he has the right to contest the proposed adoption. Whether he prevails or not is up to the judge.

The only hostility you sense is from someone who is tired of people playing semantic games. If you'd taken a brief moment and searched the board, you'd see this question answered over and over again ad nauseum.

BBR04 said:

Thanks for the help, genius.

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I'm sensing undue hostility in this response, BBRO4.

Silverplum said:

I'm sensing undue hostility in this response, BBRO4.

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Why? All I did was thank him for his very helpful assistance and then compliment his vast intelligence.

stealth2 said:

The only hostility you sense is from someone who is tired of people playing semantic games.

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(1) I am not playing any type of game, semantic or otherwise
(2) You are not required to respond if my post annoys or upsets you
(3) I did nothing wrong
(4) Upon browsing this forum some more, I have a much better picture of what is going on here. On a site with the word "advice" directly in the name, a good number of posters become quite annoyed with people actually asking for advice. Luckily, not all posters here seem to be like that, and luckily, a couple of them have actually posted in this thread.

Have fun, Giovanni.

Silverplum said:

Have fun, Giovanni.

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My name is Bruce, not Giovanni. Giovanni is Dianne's fiance.