divorce and alimony from 1980

What is the name of your state? ny

my mom has been receiving alimony from my dad since 1980. He still gets quite a large pension and social security as well and has many assets. She lives on a very limited income. He has not sent her alimony in over a month now (she gets it weekly). We think he is waiting for her to take him to court in hopes the judge will tell him he does not have to pay anymore, but he has been retired for 20 years now and has been paying all this time. Like I stated, he has more than enough money to continue paying and the divorce papers do not say anyting about stoping payments upon retirement. Do you think this can happen? Thank you for any comments.

She needs to go ahead and file for contempt, and file for him to pay her court costs for having to file. If the decree says it is for life or doesn't put a stop date then he still has to pay. Is she remarried or anything that would make him think he didn't have to pay? Since it is also your dad have you talked to him and asked? He could be in the hospital or something and just not able to do it.

I am actually the ex-daughter in law. I had my step-daughter call and he said he did not respond, then we sent a certified letter and he signed for it but still got no response. So we filed contempt charges today. Hopefully that will make him send the payments. He has left things up to my exhusband (his son) to do things for him, but he knows he has not been sending things because of the letter I sent him and he still did not send the payments so now it is in his hands. And she has not remarried or any thing. There is no date - it just says "$125 a week" .... nothing else. Kinda of strange that it did not go into more detail. Thanks!

Need4Answers said:

I am actually the ex-daughter in law. I had my step-daughter call and he said he did not respond, then we sent a certified letter and he signed for it but still got no response. So we filed contempt charges today. Hopefully that will make him send the payments. He has left things up to my exhusband (his son) to do things for him, but he knows he has not been sending things because of the letter I sent him and he still did not send the payments so now it is in his hands. And she has not remarried or any thing. There is no date - it just says "$125 a week" .... nothing else. Kinda of strange that it did not go into more detail. Thanks!

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And in 25 years she never stopped to think that the gravy train might end some day? What will happen to her when he dies? Who will she get money from then?

I wouldn't exactly call it a gravy trail, he used to abuse the hell out of her and her kids..... so $125 a week isn't exacltly enough....... thanks for the sarcasim though...

Need4Answers said:

I wouldn't exactly call it a gravy trail, he used to abuse the hell out of her and her kids..... so $125 a week isn't exacltly enough....... thanks for the sarcasim though...

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She made the decision to stay, she could have left and got a job like many other women out there. It's time people stop placing blame and trying to figure out how everyone owes them something. It's your life, live it the way you see fit. But don't blame someone else for your bad decisions.

Need4Answers said:

I wouldn't exactly call it a gravy trail, he used to abuse the hell out of her and her kids..... so $125 a week isn't exacltly enough....... thanks for the sarcasim though...

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It wasn't sarcasm, it was an honest question. And it's not exactly enough...for what? Did she think she was going to live off him for the rest of her life? And if she was abused, why would she even ask for alimony and make sure she was tied to him for all these years?

If it's such a pittance, she doesn't need it. If she really needed the money that badly, she should have been taking care of herself for the last 25 years so she would never be in this predicament. After all, being successful after an abusive relationship is the best revenge...

Need4Answers said:

I wouldn't exactly call it a gravy trail, he used to abuse the hell out of her and her kids..... so $125 a week isn't exacltly enough....... thanks for the sarcasim though...

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Then she should have gotten the heck out, es-pecially so her kids weren't exposed to that.

If it's been THAT long, she certainly could have made some effort during those years since the divorce to make herself employable. My sis went back to school ar 40 and got a degree and now has a very good job. People also learn entirely new and different careers later in life - a number of my customers are new to this industry in their 40s. Just because she didn't work during the marriage does not mean she was obligated to do nothing to further herself SINCE. VG is correct even if there is a SS order, the ex could still have become severly disabled, ill, or deceased, even left the country. One needs a BETTER plan than ONLY planning upon schleping money from their ex.
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