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Change of Circumstance

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rodman06

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida :
Sorry about the long background, but I have to set the stage for my question. I have been paying $1,100/mo alimony since 02/1993 through 11/2004, and carry a $100,000 insurance policy with my ex-wife as my beneficiary($2,500/year). I lost my job in July 2002 and since then I have been trying to start my own business and also looking for a job, with no success. I have not had any income since 8/2002.
I am almost 60 years old and have a heart condition (implanted defibrillator), and a total knee replacement. In all this time I have basically depleted my life savings to the point where I have nothing in the bank, and owe a substantial amount of money to a lot of people including the IRS. I am remarried and own a home.
My ex-wife, thru her attorney, is demanding payment, partial payments, and interest for the amount I owe, and suggesting I mortgage my house to pay for all of this. I replied that I would pay the moment I am able and that I would also include any back pay I owe, but they want some now and for me to promise when I can start paying in full, which I can't promise. Our children are grown and out of the house. I will not be able to pay anything under any circumstances right now anyway.
What I want to do is file for a Change of Circumstance and stop the entire process. What are my chances? Anybody experience something like this?
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
If you have a home that can be refinanced, then your chances are next to NULL.

You have an obligation. Pay it or face the consequences.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
If you have a home that can be refinanced, then your chances are next to NULL.

You have an obligation. Pay it or face the consequences.
Refinancing the home is also in your best interest regarding the IRS debt as well.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
And pray tell, what lender will underwrite a mortgage for a borrower that has no verfiable income since 2002? Demanding is one thing, but it's the same as "demanding" that an 80 year old get a full time job - the other parties may want it, but that doesn't mean that the third party who has to GIVE him a job will be willing to do so. I'm involved with the mortgage lending industry, and I don't see any way he can qualify for a loan under these circumstances.

And if the IRS is owed, there are likely tax liens against the house, so even if he COULD qualify for a mortgage, any judgements , liens, etc will need to be payed off before the title company can insure the new lender's loan will be in the necessary "position" to meet the underwriting requirements..
 
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Gracie3787

Senior Member
rodman06 said:
What is the name of your state? Florida :
Sorry about the long background, but I have to set the stage for my question. I have been paying $1,100/mo alimony since 02/1993 through 11/2004, and carry a $100,000 insurance policy with my ex-wife as my beneficiary($2,500/year). I lost my job in July 2002 and since then I have been trying to start my own business and also looking for a job, with no success. I have not had any income since 8/2002.
I am almost 60 years old and have a heart condition (implanted defibrillator), and a total knee replacement. In all this time I have basically depleted my life savings to the point where I have nothing in the bank, and owe a substantial amount of money to a lot of people including the IRS. I am remarried and own a home.
My ex-wife, thru her attorney, is demanding payment, partial payments, and interest for the amount I owe, and suggesting I mortgage my house to pay for all of this. I replied that I would pay the moment I am able and that I would also include any back pay I owe, but they want some now and for me to promise when I can start paying in full, which I can't promise. Our children are grown and out of the house. I will not be able to pay anything under any circumstances right now anyway.
What I want to do is file for a Change of Circumstance and stop the entire process. What are my chances? Anybody experience something like this?
You can file a petition for modification of alimony. Unless your ex is disabled and entirely dependant on alimony, it is very likely that the court would reduce or end alimony altogether. The court will take into consideration your changed circumstances, your age, health, ability to get a job, your ex's financial circumstances and that alimony was paid for 11 1/2 years.

You really need to at least consult with an attorney about it, because with you owing back taxes also, it could become very complicated.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Gracie3787 said:
You can file a petition for modification of alimony. Unless your ex is disabled and entirely dependant on alimony, it is very likely that the court would reduce or end alimony altogether. The court will take into consideration your changed circumstances, your age, health, ability to get a job, your ex's financial circumstances and that alimony was paid for 11 1/2 years.

You really need to at least consult with an attorney about it, because with you owing back taxes also, it could become very complicated.
Gracie, I really have to disagree with you on that one....he may be able to get it reduced however I suspect that his ex wife has the same issues that he has to deal with (age etc.)
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Maybe, Maybe not. She could be a very healthy, capable 50 year old, such as myself. AS you know, I not only work full time, but am also an involved parent of a seven year old. Being female OR past 50, does not make one incapable, and it is really annoying that so many women adopt the "OOOH, I just couldn't be expected to actually earn a living" plea.

My mom was able to return to the work force at about that age when my dad became disabled by brain damage (while married) after being out of the workforce since she was in her 20's. Seems like if a woman MUST, she still can get out there and earn a living, if able bodied, even after a couple decades as a housewife.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
nextwife said:
Maybe, Maybe not. She could be a very healthy, capable 50 year old, such as myself. AS you know, I not only work full time, but am also an involved parent of a seven year old. Being female OR past 50, does not make one incapable, and it is really annoying that so many women adopt the "OOOH, I just couldn't be expected to actually earn a living" plea.

My mom was able to return to the work force at about that age when my dad became disabled by brain damage (while married) after being out of the workforce since she was in her 20's. Seems like if a woman MUST, she still can get out there and earn a living, if able bodied, even after a couple decades as a housewife.
Nextwife....your mom returned to work in a different era....I hate to say that but its true.

There are some really serious age discrimination issue that are going on right now....that are unbelieveable to someone who has never had to deal with them....but they are VERY true. Medical insurance is probably the biggest issue. Employers do their best to avoid hiring older workers....specifically due to health insurance and the associated costs.

That is why so many layed off older workers simply CANNOT find alternate employment.

Someone who has never worked or never had "a carreer"....impossible...the best they can hope for is hourly wages without benefits....however yes, there are multitudes of oportunities available for them.

Its a travesty in this country and very few are willing to acknowledge it. I feel really sorry for this guy....but equally sorry for his ex.

I knew it was bad but I never realized how bad until recently...This tax season I worked with a large number of technically "unemployed" older workers. All of them had past "careers" that they lost due to buyouts, downsizing or general layoffs...They are all people who earned SERIOUS money and now are reduced to 10-12 dollars an hour...and follow the "temp"...assignments....they are all just trying to "eek it out"...until they qualify for Social Security. Many of them have had to give up their homes...the smart ones by selling when the time was right...the others due to foreclosures.

Please understand...its not that simple. I honestly wish it was.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
The bottom line is, this guy took care of his ex for all those years-now HE's the one in need of support. After she took support from him all those years, now that he's in need, she's legally joined in by the state in harassing him, rather than it being her turn to turn around and, for a change, support him. Unless and until ther STATE can guarantee that a person's income levels won't drop as they get older, or that they won't get sick or disabled, the state should not be making financial commitments for those persons that are unable to be changed. In marriages the state does not order a person's income not to change, they shouldn't do so out of marraige. Instead of encouraging divorcing women to plan on recieving SS for a "lifetime", they should be made to plan for what will happen if and when the guy is not well enough to work, or drops dead from being the only one of the two of them holding up their part in contributing financially.


WE have no idea if she's "never worked". And, really, we women already knew back when I was growing up that the days of pensions, jobs with one company forever until the gold watch, reliable retiiremnt plans, and women not having a need to be able to support themselves was OVER. What planet was any woman on to not ever plan on taking care of herself if her spouse could not, if his ability to work collapsed or the marriage collapsed? Divorce rates, heart attacks, stroke, environmental health hazards were all already on the rise back then. There is no way any woman can PLAN that her spouse will always be there able to support her. Men get sick, lose jobs, and leave marriages. There IS a change in circumstances. He's sick. He didn't get sick just to get back at his ex!

How long has he been divorced? His ex could have gone back to school, or obtained a RE license or something during the period from the divorce until now. My sis was 40 when she went back to school and got a degree from Yale! 40+ is NOT too old to start a new career. I know people in RE and lending who started selling well older than that!
 
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