• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Grandparent rights to child born via surrogacy using dead son's sperm

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

deborah108

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California

We are considering hiring a surrogate to have a child using our dead son's sperm and a donated egg. We would then like to have the baby adopted by a couple who would allow us to be grandparents to our grandchild. We would be paying for the surrogacy arrangements and would hope to find a couple willing to become members of our extended family.

Our 20year old son had sperm frozen before he underwent chemotherapy for bone lymphoma which had been cured. He was killed in a car accident.

my question is : if the adoptive parents changed their minds or scammed us, would we have any legal rights to visitation of our grandchild?
 


rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sure you could find an open adoption, willing to allow you to be grandparents, you would require an attorney to assist, but why not arrange to be the adoptive parents yourselves, then you would only have to arrange for the surrogate mother and less expense and uncertanties.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
I. too, was going to suggest that they simply be the adoptive parents, using surrogacy. I'm 50, my hubby is 59 and we have adopted a child who is now 7. I'm on a weblist of parents adopting who are older than we. They can give you lots of feedback about being AARP aged parents.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GAARP/
 

nextwife

Senior Member
deborah108 said:
If I were only 50 I think we could do it but starting out at 57 seems unfair to our grandchild.
Possibly. Many of those I know this age are becoming parents to already born kids in need of a family (and there are a LOT of those). Most of these adoptive parents are not starting their adoption journey at conception, so being older AT adoption has less impact if the child is already a few years old, or even just born.

I, too, am sorry for your loss. I do want to point out that one can't know if your son WOULD have actually had children, had he lived. I, for example, always THOUGHT I'd give birth and have two kids. But life had other plans. If your son had married a woman who, for example, could not bear children, who knows, maybe they would have adopted an unrelated child as we did? And would have been just as happy as that child's parent as we are? There are a number of parents in my group who lost a child and have found parenting a young child to be very rewarding and to make them feel younger and keep them healthier.

The problem is that open adoption is very hard to enforce, if necessary.
 
Last edited:

000

Member
Since you have stated that you do not wish to adopt and raise this hoped-for grandchild, your options are slim to none.

First, grandparents have virtually no rights to grandchildren's visitation. There are only a handful of states that even recognize it and only on a limited basis. These states may follow the others soon and abolish grandparent's rights all together.

Second, an "Open Adoption" is wishful thinking. Courts usually cannot and do not enforce them.

Third, since you would not actually be party to the adoption, (i.e. you are not a biological parent and you would not be adopting) you would not be included in any court documents for visitation rights.

Fourth, surrogate mother may change her mind and want to keep her child, throwing a monkey wrench in the adoption proceedings.

IMHO: Your only hope is to adopt and raise the child yourself. (Get surrogate mother's relinquishment immediately, of course) I do not see any other legal remedies.

You should consult with an experienced adoption attorney in your town.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top