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Grandmother trying to influence Child negatively

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smoove01

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Maryland


Hello
I am a single father of a 10 year old daughter. I have been raising her since 1999 when her mother died. I live in Maryland. Let me start from the beginning. My daughter's mother died in July of 1998 in Maryland. We were living together in an apartment. When my daughter's mother died, the grandmother had an issue with my daughter staying in Maryland. She voiced her opinion briefly but I did not take it seriously. The funeral for my daughter's mother was in Maine where she is originally from. The grandmother asked me before I went to Maine for the funeral if my daughter could stay in Maine for the remainder of the summer of 98 until pre-school start. I was a little reluctant but I agreed anyway. My daughter never made it back to Maryland that year. Her grandmother filed false charges against me in the State of Maine to take my daughter away from me. I had to go thru a whole year of court proceeding going back and forth to the state of Maine from Maryland. After trying everything in her power to take my daughter but nothing seem to work, the grandmother dropped the case she drawn against me and asked for grandparents visitation rights. The Grandparents visitation rights order was a little unfair but I still agreed. Present day 2005. It has been very difficult dealing with the grandmother. The grandmother tries to make derogatory remarks and tries to give my daughter a negative image of me. She tries to challenge my authority of my daughter. Asking my daughter about my personal life. Physically or psychologically rescuing my daughter when there is no threat to her safety. Attacking my character and lifestyle, living arrangements, planned activities with my daughter, and clothing. Emphasizing my flaws, such as an occasional burst of temper or not being prepared for the child’s activities. Normal parental lapses are blown out of proportion and my daughter is repeatedly reminded of them. Discussing the court battle between me and the grandmother to my daughter and telling my daughter that eventually that we will go to court again and my daughter will come to live with her in Maine. Makes my daughter think there is reason to be afraid of me. Suggesting to my daughter that I never cared for her. She is basically is consciously brainwash my daughter. I am very concerned about this. I need some advice. The Grandparents Visitation rights order is still present in Maine even though my daughter has resided in Maryland since 1999. I think the grandmother thinks as long as the grandparent's visitation order is in Maine she can do whatever she wants because if I have a problem, I have to come to Maine. I want to change the jurisdiction of the grandparent’s visitation rights to Maryland where it could be monitored under the state government under which my daughter resides or have it terminated completely. I need to know where I should get a lawyer in Maryland or Maine. Should I stop the grandmother from talking to my grand daughter? Should I stop my daughter from visiting her grandmother in the summer for 6 weeks? I am really concerned because my daughter goes to Maine to visit her grandmother June 25 until August 13 which a long time to try to damage my daughter emotionally. My daughter should not have to deal with this situation. Please help me. Father looking out for the best interest of his daughter
 


000

Member
Your story is a good example of why no parent should EVER allow anyone else to have custody of their child for any amount of time, even for an extended vacation unless it is a dire emergency. Too many times, the person that has the child does not want to give it back and uses the child as a pawn in their sick little games. I have seen parents stuck in the court systems for years just to try to get their own child back. Sometimes unsucessfully.

You should start by speaking to a family law attorney in your town about getting jurisdiction changed. He/she will let you know if you need to retain a Maryland attorney for that. Should you get jurisdiction changed, you really need to have the visitation changed dramatically to something like allowing her to visit the child (not the other way around) only at the most once every other month and eliminate any extended weeks long visits and NEVER allow this child to be alone with her for more than a few hours. The risk of her "kidnapping" her is too high. Since it has been several years when this order was established, grandparent's visitation rights have eroded during that time. She may not even have a case for visitation any longer.

Get to an attorney ASAP and find out!!
 

BL

Senior Member
Just to add , IF she were to retain any sort of visitation rights , or phone conversations , When and IF the Orders are modified , have orders included that The Grandparent(s) , their Friends or Guest are NOT to speak derogatorily about the Parent and the Parent is NOT to speak Derogatorily about the child or to the Child about each other .

Then if it continues document each time , what the child told you ( it is admissible) , and file contempt . File it often if it continues .

One other thing IF this is effecting the child emotionally , request the child be evaluated by a forensic physiologist when you go to Court .

I agree consult an Attorney ASAP.
 

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