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SM5NY

Member
What is the name of your state? NY
Hello, I'm abopting my husbands 5 year old daughter. The Biomom and her parents live in MO. The BM signed off and all is going well. However, with the Grandparents on the BM side... we do not want to take rights from them. They are good grandparents, and call every weekend. It's not their fault their daughter is a smuck. We want the grandparents to still continue to visit their grandchild, but we do not want the Grandparents to bring the Child around the BM and it would be nice if they do not try to drill the BM in the childs head since this mother no longer exists. Some children already have it hard enough dealing with this kind of thing and do not need things put in their heads. How would we go about everything if talking to them doesn't work.
Thanks
 


Bay1954

Member
Keep all visits at your home or if you travel to MO--make sure visits are supervised by you and your husband.
There is a grandparent visitation statute in NY (DRL 72). This statute applies to intact families and survives adoption.
If it ever came to suing you, they would have to sue in your state of residence.
 

SM5NY

Member
Bay1954, thank you, that is good to know. We are planning to try and keep it calm with in home/ our state visits proposal first and plain out laying down some rules as we do not want to exclude them from her life but just want to know this info if it turns out a little messy. In the past there has been somewhat of a proplem with the Grandmother having issues with coming to terms with all the happenings... which is understanding since she's a Grandma but we still have to protect the child.
Thank you again!
 

Bay1954

Member
You're very welcome. But I caution you on one thing--do not allow unsupervised visits in NY and do NOT allow them to take the child unsupervised to MO. This will establish a pattern which they could use in court.
It's a pity that one has to worry about such things but the grandparent visitation laws are still quite strong in NY and you would be subject to them, should these grandparents, kind or otherwise, sue.
 

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