Private adoption from Nigeria.

What is the name of your state? Florida

My husband and I were recently contacted by a mother planning to give her child up for adoption. The birth mother found our profile on a website that post families wishing to adopt. The mother is not working with any kind of adoption agency and neither are we. After a couple weeks of communication between us she has decided that we are the right family for her child. The mother and child are currently in Nigeria where they have been for a couple years however the mother is planning to move back to her home country the United Kingdom. Due to her family’s background and beliefs the mother is requesting a very quick and private adoption. My question is how I start the adoption process. What exactly do I need to do first? My husband and I have never adopted so we are really confused as what to do now. I contacted an adoption agency that advertised free adoption advice but they were not much help. They wanted me to give them the contact information of the birth mother so they could get her enrolled with them. They said once she was enrolled that they could try to see if she might be a good match for us. To me it sounded more like they were trying to help themselves. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
Becka

Be VERY cautious. I smell a scam. International adoptions just don't happen that way.

Contact a local attorney who is knowledgable about international adoption, and have him make certain what the process is for adopting from that country.

Thanks for the advice. Are adoption scams a common thing? We are new to the whole adoption process and are kinda flying blind right now. So far the mother seems very genuine. She has shared pictures with me of herself and her child. She has also given me basic information like her address and phone number so that I can contact her directly. Other than those things I have nothing. Do you know of anyone who has been scammed by something like that?

Nigeria is the host country for all sorts of fraud.

International adoption still means you need a home study, visa fromn the US, police clearnaces and a dossier for the government. Your situation just sounds odd, having gone through the involved process (but worth it!) of international adoption. Shortcuts mean trouble. The link below is worth following.

And start researching the process of international adoption, so you at least have a clue of what normally needs to happen. Do NOT send money!

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_429.html

Document and identity fraud related to adoptions are serious concerns in Nigeria. All adoptions are required to undergo full field investigations in the state where the adoption took place to verify the authenticity of the information provided in the adoption decrees and I-600 petitions.

YES it is a scam! YES I have seen people taken in by adoption scams first hand. It is a common thing, and VERY convincing because they send pictures, get the kids to talk on the phone, etc.

There is a 99 percent chance that this is a scam. If they've told you that if you adopt the kid, you get access to some huge fund, the chances go up to 99.99 percent. Do not be taken in by pictures, addresses (they're fake, or to some bar where they can get the mail), web sites (they'll set up official looking web sites) or anything else.

If you feel the need to proceed on the off chance its legitimate, go ahead, BUT DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY PERSONAL DETAILS - THEY WILL USE THEM AGAINST YOU - AND DO NOT SEND ANY MONEY!

nextwife said:

Contact a local attorney who is knowledgable about international adoption, and have him make certain what the process is for adopting from that country.

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Be warned, though, that the most common way they have of moving these scams along is to have somebody pose as an attorney. They will even set up fake web sites listing Nigerian attorneys or law firms, to make you think the guy's real. Do NOT pay anything to an alleged Nigerian attorney unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE the guy is legit. If you insist on proceeding let me know and I'll try to get you reliable sources.

listed3 said:

Be warned, though, that the most common way they have of moving these scams along is to have somebody pose as an attorney. They will even set up fake web sites listing Nigerian attorneys or law firms, to make you think the guy's real. Do NOT pay anything to an alleged Nigerian attorney unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE the guy is legit. If you insist on proceeding let me know and I'll try to get you reliable sources.

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You will note, that I advised them to get their own adoption attorney LOCALLY to them. So, if they live in Chicago, for example, they should research experienced adoption attorneys (experienced with international adoptions) in Chicagoland.

Personally, and being in daily contact with many adoptive poparents on various weblists who have adopted all over the world, I believe this to be a scam.

No offense meant, Next. When you said local I thought you meant in Nigeria. Actually a Nigerian lawyer might not be a bad idea, but you'd have to REALLY be sure they were legitimate. Anyway, I agree with everything you've said - just wanted to alert the poster to the fraudulent Nigerian lawyers.

listed3 said:

Be warned, though, that the most common way they have of moving these scams along is to have somebody pose as an attorney. They will even set up fake web sites listing Nigerian attorneys or law firms, to make you think the guy's real. Do NOT pay anything to an alleged Nigerian attorney unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE the guy is legit. If you insist on proceeding let me know and I'll try to get you reliable sources.

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Dear Listed3,

I am appalled at how far these people will go. As I have some interest in finding a reputable Attorney in the Los Angeles area to help me, could you make any recommendation of who might be the best person to contact?
Ideally a person with some experience in this area and someone whom I can trust? I have a email account you can write to at [email protected] that i only use on the side.

Yours Truly

Mary

I honestly don't know why connecting with a reputable adoption attorney should be that hard. I simply asked around, and then checked out the persons I was referred to through the bar association, and by asking non-adoption RE attorneys I knew what they knew of their reputations. I asked people who knew people who had gone through successful adoptions if they could connect me with those adoptive parents. I spoke to them and got feedback. I asked paralegals and attorneys who they had heard were good FOR ADOPTION. I got feedback from multiple web support lists for adoptive parents. I checked with my state office of consumer protection to see if any complaints had been filed against given adoption agencies/attornies. I simply put feelers out by talking to customers and friends about who they knew that had adopted and then did research. Ultimately, one of my clients connected me with a friend who had run a local adoption agency for about 15 years and the adoption agency head was the wife of a federal judge (so I was very certain they weren't some fly-by-night, johnny come lately scam adoption agency). They ended up handling our international adoption and arranging our out-of-country attorney/facilitator. Had I done a domestic adoption, I had other resources/attorneys I would have used.