Adoption By Estoppol

What is the name of your state?Texas:
I live in Texas, as do my ex-wife and my son. He is not mine biologically but I did a legal name change, giving him my name in 2002. I have been divorced from his mother for just over a year and we were seperated for about a year before that. During those two years, the child has lived with her parents since she decided it would be best for him to be shielded from our divorce and it would allow her to work without child care costs. So, he hasn't lived with me for two years now. During that time, I have maintained him on my health insurance and I have provided some financial aid to his grandparents. Throughout his life, he has only known me as his dad and all friends, neighbors, associates and family have known ours to be a father/son relationship; in other words, he has always called me dad, I have always called him son and he has always used my name, even before the legal name change.
What I would like to know is does all of this qualify for adoption by estoppol and if so, what rights am I entitled to and what responsibilities do I have under the law? Is there any chance that I could gain custody of him were I to consider trying?

Do you know who the biological dad is? How old was the child when you married? Have you filed for custody, visitation? You are what is known as a de Facto Parent. If you file for custody, she may counter and try to block your attempt at visitation. A judge can make an order depending on the facts. I wuld suggest you consult an attorney and file for visitation, you don't have to have custody or pay child support to be granted visitation. You really want a judge's order, not a private agreement.

Adoption by Estoppol

We married when he was about 20 months old. I met him and his mom when he was almost a year old. I know who his bio-dad is but he has never attempted to make contact, pay support or anything of a parental nature. Also, his name is not on the birth certificate; when the child was born, no father was listed and he was born under her maiden name. He just grew up using mine and then we did a legal name change later. No, there is no court order. To be honest, I had always been led to believe that I had NO rights or responsibilities under the law. Everything I have done thus far was simply out of love for my son and because I just thought it was the right thing to do. Since he has been living with his grandparents, the relationship with his mom, who is remarried now, has become estranged. They hardly talk and she has only seen him once in the last five months. She wants to bring him home to live with her but he says he doesn't want to and that he hates her. I know he is just angry but my concern is what will happen if she forces him to come home under these circumstances and what happens two years down the road, when he is 12 and they are at each other's throats and he decides he wants to live with me? He has already said that if he can't stay with his grandparents, he would rather live with me than his mom. What to do????

You definitely need to speak with an attorney. Keep in mind that once you decide to become the child's parent in court, you cannot make it go away. So if you end up with nothing but the responsiblility of child support payments, you cannot just decide you don't want to be the parent anymore. And in TX, only the NCP's income is taken into consideration when figuring support.

I say this because say you fight for and are granted custody. Then mom decides to wake up and she wants the child back. It is very possible she will win, then she decides to deny you the relationship with the child. Who knows what a judge will rule when you file contempt, but you have to expect the worse, hope for the best.

Hire an attorney and make an informed decision about the entire situation. Do the research on TX law and make sure you understand it. Look at this from all sides of the situation.