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Adoption in Trouble

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i_adopted_3kids

Junior Member
:( I am in Indiana and I have a serious problem. My husband and I adopted a sibling group of 3 kids about 2 years ago through the Foster Care System. Two of our kids were placed together in a regular foster home and the oldest was in a theraputic foster home. We were assured that the oldest child had worked out his issues that had him seperated from his siblings and was ready to be adopted with them. He was only 9 when he came to live with us and right away we started having problems. After about 6 months (about 1 week after the adoption was finalized) we found out that our oldest son was sexually acting out on our two younger children who were 7 and 4 at the time. We reported this right away and was sent to therapy. Well after about 5 months of my oldest son refusing to discuss any of his feelings or behaviors, the therapist put us on PRN, which means only schedule an appointment as needed. Things quieted down for a few months and then about 10 months ago, the bottom just fell out. Our oldest son has become very violent and aggressive towards his siblings and my husband and me. He has threated to kill us, to stab me in the stomache with a knife and he throws things, broke his bedroom door, tried to slam the door on my fingers, and calls us the worst names. We have had him hospitalized 2x at Children's Hospital and now he is in a Residential Treatment Center. The problem is that he does not show these same behaviors at these places, he'll admit that is how he acts at home and says that he'll only act that way with us - so they will leave him alone. We have come to the conclusion that it is probably not safe physically or emotionally to have him in the home with his siblings, so we are deciding to relinquish our parental rights - we are all heartbroken at this reality, but feel it is the only way to bring harmony back into our household. What is Indiana law concerning this and what do we need to do to relinquish our rights?undefined
 


nextwife

Senior Member
Unfortunately, CPS HAS been known to make inappropriate and dangerous placements - and to fail to provide full disclosure of known issues PRIOR to encouraging the adoption.

In some of these cases, as when ther placement creates a danger to other, younger children in the home, "disruption" may be the only option - if all else fails.

A child with the problems you describe should never have been placed with a family who has young kids. This child should be with adoptive parents who are skillful with troubled children, and where the placement does not endanger other children.

I am aware of some families who have adopted all their children from disruptions.

Do connect with a disruption support group, and read up on disruption resources.

http://www.adoptiondisruption.com/

http://www.adoption.org/adopt/adoption-disruption.php

http://www.adoptioninformation.com/directory/adoptloss_a_disruptionintro.htm
 
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