Alimony award in 6 year marriage, employed spouse?

Georgia, 30 years old and confused...

I have been married for 6 years (1 year seperated) and am seeking divorce. I make approx 70k and my wife around 38k. I proposed that my wife take our home, her car, and all furnishings free and clear. I would then walk away with no equity and pay off all remaining debt (credit card, autos) which is total 9k. She resists this offer due to the fact that she is seeking the home and alimony in the amount of 1700.00 a month for 5 years. The arguement being that because she leaves my IRA alone that is settlement for lack of equity owed.

My question is am I a jerk or does it seem crazy that she claims not to be able to afford the associated expenses of living in this home and therefore I must subsidize this lifestyle? Is this equitable division?

**forgot to mention there are no children in this marriage.

Mofukra said:

Georgia, 30 years old and confused...

I have been married for 6 years (1 year seperated) and am seeking divorce. I make approx 70k and my wife around 38k. I proposed that my wife take our home, her car, and all furnishings free and clear. I would then walk away with no equity and pay off all remaining debt (credit card, autos) which is total 9k. She resists this offer due to the fact that she is seeking the home and alimony in the amount of 1700.00 a month for 5 years. The arguement being that because she leaves my IRA alone that is settlement for lack of equity owed.

My question is am I a jerk or does it seem crazy that she claims not to be able to afford the associated expenses of living in this home and therefore I must subsidize this lifestyle? Is this equitable division?

**forgot to mention there are no children in this marriage.

Click to expand...

Its possible that you are being unreasonable. Its possible that you aren't.
Since you are only 30, and you were married for 6 years, then I would assume that most of your assets were accumulated during the marriage. I would also suspect that you contributed double the amount to the IRA that you would have been eligible to contribute if you hadn't been married.

Basically, the two of you are each entitled to half of the TOTAL assets, which includes your IRA. (or at least the amount of the IRA that was accumulated during the marriage), and you each are responsible for half of the debts. The equity in your respective cars, any money held in bank accounts or any other assets are part of that as well.

If you are not agreeing to a property settlement that gives her a full half of the total assets (minus 4500 for her half of the debts), then you may be being unreasonable. If she can't afford to keep the house on her own, and the cost of selling it would end up giving her less that her fair share of the assets then you may also be being unreasonable.

However if you are agreeing to a settlement that gives her a full half of the assets, then perhaps you are not being unreasonable.

Alimony is a separate issue. Normally a six year marriage would not include alimony. However there can be some exceptions to that. A classic exception would be if she worked while you went to school on the expectation that you going to school would benefit the both of you. In that case she might be entitled to short term alimony so that she could do the same.

Since she apparently can't afford the house on her own, then probably it should be sold and she should recieve a full 1/2 of the assets....and the equity in the home should be based on the net recieved.

Mofukra said:

Georgia, 30 years old and confused...

I have been married for 6 years (1 year seperated) and am seeking divorce. I make approx 70k and my wife around 38k. I proposed that my wife take our home, her car, and all furnishings free and clear. I would then walk away with no equity and pay off all remaining debt (credit card, autos) which is total 9k. She resists this offer due to the fact that she is seeking the home and alimony in the amount of 1700.00 a month for 5 years. The arguement being that because she leaves my IRA alone that is settlement for lack of equity owed.

My question is am I a jerk or does it seem crazy that she claims not to be able to afford the associated expenses of living in this home and therefore I must subsidize this lifestyle? Is this equitable division?

**forgot to mention there are no children in this marriage.

Click to expand...

For starters, IF she gets alimony, she won't be able to "choose" how much she wants!!! If that was the case, well - I won't go there.
IF she gets alimony, the judge will declare what the payment is and for how long. But, in a 6 year marriage it's pretty unlikely. I was married 5 and was not awarded any, I was told it "typically" starts at 10 years and over.
Provided you both work, I doubt she'd get much - - if anything. If you both work now and worked during the marriage.
You have to share deposits made to 401k/403b (and the like) only while you were married - -what your balance was PRIOR to marriage is not hers for claiming.
Did you purchase the home together, or was it yours prior to the marriage, or hers prior to the marriage

You are being way too nice and she is being way too greedy. I truly hope you have an attorney. Your marriage is too short to give all this, and it's too short for alimony.

VeronicaGia said:

You are being way too nice and she is being way too greedy. I truly hope you have an attorney. Your marriage is too short to give all this, and it's too short for alimony.

Click to expand...

You can't say that he is being way too nice. There is a distinct possibility that he isn't being fair on the property settlement. That is why I responded to him the way that I did.

She may be being greedy about the alimony....but if the property settlement is unbalanced then maybe she is not.