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Alimony for short term marraige

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inthedoghouse

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? GA
Facts:
8+ year before final separation
9+ now
no children of marraige, she has one minor from prior marriage living with her
no aledged abuse, infideltiy or fraud
Her: recovering alcoholic, me: paid all mortgage payments and almost all bills including those of my stepson
she worked fulltime for first 3 years of marraige, then 4 years of part time then alcoholism, now goes to school and "takes care of" dad which has more assets than I and gets $2500 in pensions
I agreed to give her house equity that is about 2/3's of marital assets that number I'm pretty comfortable with (the rest is retirment and savings in my name)
I'm here because there are relatively little assets but she has attorney, my original attorney was really bad, didn't return phone calls or email
Question: what would judge give her if I just got a trial date and went in on my own with documentation I've offered her 2/3's of assets and no alimony?
She is also asking for all house contents: what would judge do here?
Tell me what you all think. Thanks for your time, inthedoghouse
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
inthedoghouse said:
What is the name of your state? GA
Facts:
8+ year before final separation
9+ now
no children of marraige, she has one minor from prior marriage living with her
no aledged abuse, infideltiy or fraud
Her: recovering alcoholic, me: paid all mortgage payments and almost all bills including those of my stepson
she worked fulltime for first 3 years of marraige, then 4 years of part time then alcoholism, now goes to school and "takes care of" dad which has more assets than I and gets $2500 in pensions
I agreed to give her house equity that is about 2/3's of marital assets that number I'm pretty comfortable with (the rest is retirment and savings in my name)
I'm here because there are relatively little assets but she has attorney, my original attorney was really bad, didn't return phone calls or email
Question: what would judge give her if I just got a trial date and went in on my own with documentation I've offered her 2/3's of assets and no alimony?
She is also asking for all house contents: what would judge do here?
Tell me what you all think. Thanks for your time, inthedoghouse
Are there any extraordinary financial circumstances in your marriage? Did she support the two of you while you went to school those first three years?...or support the family while you started a business?...or anything else similar?

Obviously she can't afford the home mortgage or to refinance the home into her own name (since she apparently has no income or recent income history)...therefore obviously the home has to be sold.

What a judge would generally do is to take the net proceeds of the sale of the home and add that to your retirement fund, savings, equity in cars, home furnishings, and then divide the total in half...and that is what each of you would get....splitting the physical items up in whatever manner was practical. Obviously whoever had the car with more equity would get less cash...or someone keeping the contents of the home would get the car with less equity...etc.

Then of course the debts would have to be divided as well.

Also, you have to remember that alimony is tax deductible to you and taxable income to her....so sometimes there is an advantage (if carefully done so as not to violate the tax codes) to structure part of the property settlement as alimony.
 

Tayla

Member
To my recollection: Georgia is not a community property state. Alimony is a separate issue from dividing property. Divorce settlement handles the assets and property, Alimony is for a spouse wanting financial aide to assist in the lifestyle they are accustomed to during the years of marriage.( Not an exact legal definition, but suitable for this topic).
 

inthedoghouse

Junior Member
LdiJ,

thanks for all your great points. Consider this in your recommendation:

I had my career and education before the marraige and get better than avg
She lives in the house that I've been paying the mortgage with her son from her first marraige and her 90 year-old father that has at least 100k in cash and about $2500 in pensions monthly
She is a recovering alcoholic, primary reason she couldn't hold down a job, has been going to school for over a year and wants to go for two more. So to the untrained observer she has a good sad luck story
She said her father can qualify for the refi...
My initial offer in county required meditation was that I take over the house and take an equity loan equal to half the marital assets and pay her that (50k) and no alimony
I thought that since this seems to be the most neutral position that I could make that offer official so that when it gets to court the judge would deny attorney costs
What about a large home depot debt in her name that she decided to purchase just before the split?

Thanks again
 

inthedoghouse

Junior Member
Accustomed to...

Tayla,

Thanks for that clarification, I've spoken to a few attornies and none of them have said anything about paying her alimony so she can live how she was accustomed to living. Almost without exception every non-attorney I have mentioned alimony to have said -- what the heck is that for. Almost every attorny has said if she gets anything at all it won't be much, yet her initial demand at mediation was 60k in alimony over 4 years! Not counting the final separation the marraige lasted 8.5 years, and the last year of that had a short separation and marraige counseling. True I do make more than average, but she in no way contributed to that as I had education and career before I met her. My boss was in a jury last month for a 500k divorce and she had asked for the same thing and the jury came back and gave her no alimony. My boss, a woman, said that the way she understood judge's instructions, that in effect its only given out in cases of long term marraiges where the wife didn't or couldn't work, abuse or incapacity None of these even remotely fits my case. In a middle income family, what is there to get accustomed to? Please let me know what you think, your insight is greatly appreciated.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
inthedoghouse said:
LdiJ,

thanks for all your great points. Consider this in your recommendation:

I had my career and education before the marraige and get better than avg
She lives in the house that I've been paying the mortgage with her son from her first marraige and her 90 year-old father that has at least 100k in cash and about $2500 in pensions monthly
She is a recovering alcoholic, primary reason she couldn't hold down a job, has been going to school for over a year and wants to go for two more. So to the untrained observer she has a good sad luck story
She said her father can qualify for the refi...
My initial offer in county required meditation was that I take over the house and take an equity loan equal to half the marital assets and pay her that (50k) and no alimony
I thought that since this seems to be the most neutral position that I could make that offer official so that when it gets to court the judge would deny attorney costs
What about a large home depot debt in her name that she decided to purchase just before the split?

Thanks again
If her dad is 90 I think its highly questionable whether or not anyone will give him a mortgage....so I still think that selling the home is probably the wiser way to go. Unless the home was extensively remodeled to accomodate any disabilities he might have....in which case it might be wiser to offer a "deal" where she remains in the home until her dad passes....and then its sold and you split the equity.

What did the Home Depot debt pay for? If it adds value to the home that has to factor into the equation.

I see at least a slim chance that she could get some short term alimony....as well as half of the marital assets....but I don't think the alimony is guaranteed by any means.

I think this one really needs a local attorney.
 

inthedoghouse

Junior Member
Selling the house

Thanks LdiJ,

One last item for you, I had proposed re-inhabiting the house after giving her 60 days to vacate. Then a home equity loan to get the 50k out to pay her off. Do you think the judge would look favorably on that suggestion? It would avoid unnecessary real estate costs at the very least. Thanks again
 

Tayla

Member
Please confer with an attorney. It cannot be stressed enough that Georgia is NOT a community property state. So your assets and financials do NOT automatically get divided equally. Thus a judge and your attorneys expertise will best guide on what is to be suitable for both parties. Whether she is in recovery or not will be irrrelevant. That issue is mute. Just because a particular case was settled in a certain manner does not mean your case will be mirrored in the same manner. The judge and the circumstances of both parties will be looked at intensely by the judge. No one here can say without a doubt how this will play out. Your truly being far more generous then even the laws may require, for alimony. My suggestion is simple: Stop wanting to buy her off or making *nice* . She clearly didnt place any monies into your investment. As the Queen would say "Let them eat cake". She and her attorney can make offers til dooms day. Its ultimately up to the laws of state and the judge to make the final decisions on this matter. Your lawyers are interpreters of the laws and negotiators on your behalfs. Let us know how this progresses.
 

inthedoghouse

Junior Member
Thanks Tayla, I hope to visit two more agressive attornies this week for their recommendation. But at $200-$300 a pop, those opinions are adding up. Any way I can make more out of my time, I've got case summaries and such but most attornies in this area charge for the first consultation. The last one took up 2 hours of his and my time and near the end started talking about 2-3 years of minimal alimony. That's nuts I think, but it still cost me $350 for that opinion. Otherwise, thanks for your recommendation -- its greatly appreciated.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
inthedoghouse said:
Thanks LdiJ,

One last item for you, I had proposed re-inhabiting the house after giving her 60 days to vacate. Then a home equity loan to get the 50k out to pay her off. Do you think the judge would look favorably on that suggestion? It would avoid unnecessary real estate costs at the very least. Thanks again
Its a perfectly reasonable proposal. Although from a financial standpoint I would recommend a refi rather than a home equity loan. Interest rates are still low. You do need an official appraisal of the home in order to determine though how much is actually due to her....along with her share of the other assets, of course.

I also would recommend allowing her to stay in the home until after the refi happens, so that she has the funds to secure other housing for herself and her father. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was just her...but since she has an elderly parent to care for you need to be very accomodating there. (so you don't accidentally look like a jerk to the judge)

I also disagree to a great extent with the other advice that you are getting on this thread. While is true that things may not get divided in a true 50/50 split, there is little chance that you won't be required to divide the assets and portions of assets that accumulated during the marriage in a 50/50 split......and "agressive" action may simply end up costing you far more in legal fees than you would save in asset division. In addition, its quite possible that you would be ordered to pay her legal fees as well.....so we are talking "double whammy" here.

You have also had at least one attorney tell you that minimal alimony for a short period is possible.....so don't rule that out either.
 
Last edited:
inthedoghouse said:
Thanks LdiJ,

One last item for you, I had proposed re-inhabiting the house after giving her 60 days to vacate. Then a home equity loan to get the 50k out to pay her off. Do you think the judge would look favorably on that suggestion? It would avoid unnecessary real estate costs at the very least. Thanks again
I thought I would throw this in just for thought, because you say your ex is alcoholic. When my husband was going through divorce with his ex, she insisted that she keep marital home. She was making approx. 90k at the time. My husband did not force the issue of selling or refinancing the house at the time. The house was financed with my husband's VA loan. That was 5 years ago. About 2 years ago she began drinking heavily and using legal and illegal drugs. She started missing house payments. My husband tried without success to get her to put the house up for sell. She ended up living in the house 13 months for free because that is how long it took the mortgage company to forclose on the house. My husband now has a forclosure on his credit record even though she was required to maintain the payment according to divorce decree.
 

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