Talk to a criminal lawyer about getting a deferred prosecution. The NJ web site's down, so I can't be sure, but in Wash, you'd have to pay a whopping big amount of $$, install an interlock, and go to AA, but the arrest wouldn't show up on your driving abstract and would go away after 5 years. Expect the legal fees to be around $1000.
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This is not legal advice and you are not my client. Double check everything with your own attorney and your state's laws.