Oregon
Dear Sir/Madam:
My wife and I tried to adopt a set of 10-year-old twins S and C from Bethany Christian Services. We had the twins for almost an entire year. We have had the twins in therapy since the first week we got them. We have over the course of a year discovered that S has Reactive Attachment Disorder. She is right now an undiagnosed sociopath. She has attacked our 2 year old on numerous occasions shoving him down, biting him, pinching him, or screaming in his face to make him cry, then she laughs almost uncontrollably. She has attempted to kill her twin brother twice since she has been here. On her latest attempt she coerced her brother to put a blanket over his head under the pretense of playing a game, after he put the blanket over his head she commenced to hitting him in the head with a bicycle helmet as hard as she could until he managed to get out from under her and get away. We have reported this as well as submitted a biweekly journal to Bethany Christian services via the social worker. We consulted the case worker commonly on how to get help for S and she not even once offered a viable resource for us until after we expressed our concern that we couldn’t keep S in our home. The case workers' typical response was that she worked for a non-profit agency and they had no resources to offer. This was not the speech we got from the case worker in the beginning of our relationship. We had already adopted a special needs baby from Bethany Christian Services prior to this placement. We have spent thousands of dollars trying to get S the help that she needs with a psychologist, and pediatrician. Our psychologist Dr. eventually came to the conclusion that S most likely has Reactive Attachment Disorder and he did not have the expertise to treat her for it. Finally upon the recommendation of Oregon Family services when reporting a violent attempt on C's life by S Family Services told us that we must keep her away from all children at all times because if she manages to hurt her brother or our 2-year-old baby we would be held responsible. We put a chain lock on her door - for show - if she had opened the door hard it would slide right out, it did not actually trap her in her room. It was only done at night when we were sleeping, and with a baby monitor so we could hear any and all requests for something, and we checked on her throughout the night. Since doing this, our 2 year old has started sleeping the whole night through for the first time in his whole life. This really scared us. S is a pathological liar, a thief, and she is an aggressive and violent predator who enjoys hurting children, especially children smaller than her. She can be extremely cunning and charming when she wants to be. She commonly will defecate in her pants and walk around with it in her trousers until someone confronts her. We took her Barbie dolls away from her because she mutilated the genital areas with a scissors and cut all the hair off of them. She breaks any toy she comes in contact with. She steals things from other children at school - everything from pencils to hair barrettes, toys and schoolbooks, and mutilates or breaks them. We finally had all we could take and out of fear for the safety of our other children and because we could not garner any support from Bethany Christian Services we asked the case worker to find other arrangements for S. This is when she finally managed to produce a name of a psychiatrist that could help. Oddly enough she knew the name and phone number by heart.
The case worker told us that we were cowards and quitters. That we were blowing everything out of proportion. And that if we didn't want to adopt S then she would take C also. The case worker was completely agreeable to leave C here but only if we keep S also. Before S and C came to our home, they had been in 4 failed placements by Bethany Christian services over the course of 27 months. We are discovering now through our own research that the previous placements all failed for the exact same reason. The case worker lied about this to us when she originally presented us with C and S . S he told us the placements failed because of marital problems in the previous homes and because the previous placements had refused to keep the children once they found out they would not be receiving state subsidies for the children. We have now discovered that this is a boldfaced lie. Bethany Christian services deliberately deceived us in order to place C and S with us. We had stated very clearly to Bethany Christian services that we would not accept a child that threatened the safety of the other children in our home. When we were approached originally by The case worker told us that they could only find placement for one of the children with a couple in Montana. We where trying to adopt again but not necessarily two 10 year olds. But we took up the challenge so we could try to keep the twins together. Now the case worker tells us that they cannot split twins under any circumstances and since we want to find a new home or facility for S she is taking C as well. We have spoken to a couple of lawyers and they both have not only known of Bethany Christian Services for doing this, there is enough frequency of this happening with this one case worker that they even knew The case worker by name. We were advised that there is nothing we can do. This woman took this thriving little boy out of our home for the shear spite of it. She told lies to her managers about us to justify her conduct and they are left with having to believe her over us. She claimed that she witnessed us locking S in her room during the day one time when we had asked her to visit us and this was a boldfaced lie. She had brought her daughter with her and had sent her up stairs to find out if S was staying in her room or not in fact. The only reason I mention this particular incident is because her manager stated to me that this is the primary reason that they removed the twins. We love both these little children even if we cannot bond with S. We have bonded with C and he has thrived with us. In the last school year alone C has advanced his academics from being 2 grades behind in math and English up to his current grade level which is 4th grade going into 5th grade. We asked C how he would feel if he didn’t live with S any more and he said “safe” This morning the case worker called us to tell us that she was coming to get C to take him to a horse show. This was a lie.
The last thing we heard from the case worker was when she called us this afternoon to tell us that since we called her boss and her corporate head quarters she was “pulling both kids”
I have never cried so hard and so long in my entire life. I lost my best friend. I will miss him forever. Every fiber of my being aches for these children. My wife and I cried all day today. We spent time with our pastor to help us with our grief and I cannot tell you right now how I am going to get over this.
I am writing this because there has to be someone somewhere that can do something to stop this arrogant woman from destroying the lives of other children and families for the sole purpose of fulfilling her own arrogance and hubris. The case worker has knowingly put C in harms way by forcing him to live with S in a new environment with new caregivers that have no idea what S is capable of or how to protect C from her. We have spoken to the previous foster/adopt home and we have discovered that they reported the same identical behavior to Bethany Christian Services. S dominates, and controls C; S manipulates C by taking advantage of his trust and uses subversion, false imposed guilt, and terrorism to get him to commit her misdeeds. She physically abuses him, threatens him, and does that to any child around her.
Dear Sir/Madam:
My wife and I tried to adopt a set of 10-year-old twins S and C from Bethany Christian Services. We had the twins for almost an entire year. We have had the twins in therapy since the first week we got them. We have over the course of a year discovered that S has Reactive Attachment Disorder. She is right now an undiagnosed sociopath. She has attacked our 2 year old on numerous occasions shoving him down, biting him, pinching him, or screaming in his face to make him cry, then she laughs almost uncontrollably. She has attempted to kill her twin brother twice since she has been here. On her latest attempt she coerced her brother to put a blanket over his head under the pretense of playing a game, after he put the blanket over his head she commenced to hitting him in the head with a bicycle helmet as hard as she could until he managed to get out from under her and get away. We have reported this as well as submitted a biweekly journal to Bethany Christian services via the social worker. We consulted the case worker commonly on how to get help for S and she not even once offered a viable resource for us until after we expressed our concern that we couldn’t keep S in our home. The case workers' typical response was that she worked for a non-profit agency and they had no resources to offer. This was not the speech we got from the case worker in the beginning of our relationship. We had already adopted a special needs baby from Bethany Christian Services prior to this placement. We have spent thousands of dollars trying to get S the help that she needs with a psychologist, and pediatrician. Our psychologist Dr. eventually came to the conclusion that S most likely has Reactive Attachment Disorder and he did not have the expertise to treat her for it. Finally upon the recommendation of Oregon Family services when reporting a violent attempt on C's life by S Family Services told us that we must keep her away from all children at all times because if she manages to hurt her brother or our 2-year-old baby we would be held responsible. We put a chain lock on her door - for show - if she had opened the door hard it would slide right out, it did not actually trap her in her room. It was only done at night when we were sleeping, and with a baby monitor so we could hear any and all requests for something, and we checked on her throughout the night. Since doing this, our 2 year old has started sleeping the whole night through for the first time in his whole life. This really scared us. S is a pathological liar, a thief, and she is an aggressive and violent predator who enjoys hurting children, especially children smaller than her. She can be extremely cunning and charming when she wants to be. She commonly will defecate in her pants and walk around with it in her trousers until someone confronts her. We took her Barbie dolls away from her because she mutilated the genital areas with a scissors and cut all the hair off of them. She breaks any toy she comes in contact with. She steals things from other children at school - everything from pencils to hair barrettes, toys and schoolbooks, and mutilates or breaks them. We finally had all we could take and out of fear for the safety of our other children and because we could not garner any support from Bethany Christian Services we asked the case worker to find other arrangements for S. This is when she finally managed to produce a name of a psychiatrist that could help. Oddly enough she knew the name and phone number by heart.
The case worker told us that we were cowards and quitters. That we were blowing everything out of proportion. And that if we didn't want to adopt S then she would take C also. The case worker was completely agreeable to leave C here but only if we keep S also. Before S and C came to our home, they had been in 4 failed placements by Bethany Christian services over the course of 27 months. We are discovering now through our own research that the previous placements all failed for the exact same reason. The case worker lied about this to us when she originally presented us with C and S . S he told us the placements failed because of marital problems in the previous homes and because the previous placements had refused to keep the children once they found out they would not be receiving state subsidies for the children. We have now discovered that this is a boldfaced lie. Bethany Christian services deliberately deceived us in order to place C and S with us. We had stated very clearly to Bethany Christian services that we would not accept a child that threatened the safety of the other children in our home. When we were approached originally by The case worker told us that they could only find placement for one of the children with a couple in Montana. We where trying to adopt again but not necessarily two 10 year olds. But we took up the challenge so we could try to keep the twins together. Now the case worker tells us that they cannot split twins under any circumstances and since we want to find a new home or facility for S she is taking C as well. We have spoken to a couple of lawyers and they both have not only known of Bethany Christian Services for doing this, there is enough frequency of this happening with this one case worker that they even knew The case worker by name. We were advised that there is nothing we can do. This woman took this thriving little boy out of our home for the shear spite of it. She told lies to her managers about us to justify her conduct and they are left with having to believe her over us. She claimed that she witnessed us locking S in her room during the day one time when we had asked her to visit us and this was a boldfaced lie. She had brought her daughter with her and had sent her up stairs to find out if S was staying in her room or not in fact. The only reason I mention this particular incident is because her manager stated to me that this is the primary reason that they removed the twins. We love both these little children even if we cannot bond with S. We have bonded with C and he has thrived with us. In the last school year alone C has advanced his academics from being 2 grades behind in math and English up to his current grade level which is 4th grade going into 5th grade. We asked C how he would feel if he didn’t live with S any more and he said “safe” This morning the case worker called us to tell us that she was coming to get C to take him to a horse show. This was a lie.
The last thing we heard from the case worker was when she called us this afternoon to tell us that since we called her boss and her corporate head quarters she was “pulling both kids”
I have never cried so hard and so long in my entire life. I lost my best friend. I will miss him forever. Every fiber of my being aches for these children. My wife and I cried all day today. We spent time with our pastor to help us with our grief and I cannot tell you right now how I am going to get over this.
I am writing this because there has to be someone somewhere that can do something to stop this arrogant woman from destroying the lives of other children and families for the sole purpose of fulfilling her own arrogance and hubris. The case worker has knowingly put C in harms way by forcing him to live with S in a new environment with new caregivers that have no idea what S is capable of or how to protect C from her. We have spoken to the previous foster/adopt home and we have discovered that they reported the same identical behavior to Bethany Christian Services. S dominates, and controls C; S manipulates C by taking advantage of his trust and uses subversion, false imposed guilt, and terrorism to get him to commit her misdeeds. She physically abuses him, threatens him, and does that to any child around her.
Last edited:
