Advice needed for young father

jamesnjo · Jun 18, 2005

What is the name of your state? Washington

I am a poor,underemployed father of one who is facing the prospect of divorce. My wife left me in December of last year and has been living with her mother since then. She has obtained a ruling for child support that I must pay but has not yet filed for divorce, though she speaks of it off and on. Our son lives with her but I take him on weekends. For a few months now another man has been living there with her and she openly regards this guy as her new boyfriend. Recently I found out that she is pregnant. I know for a definite fact that the child is not mine and presume, of course, that the father is this guy that is living with her.

I know that I need to talk to a lawyer and am trying to find the best way to go about it, considering I have little money. I would really like some input from this forum as to what I can expect my options to be, given the circumstances.

garrula lingua · Jun 19, 2005

1. Wa has a very good 'pro per' (representing yourself) procedure in court.
Go on amazon.com and search for books such as: how to do your own divorce in wa. A self-hel book will take you step-by-step thru the divorce process.

2. Get going. Don't be passive.
The babe your wife is carrying may be declared a child of your marriage; if that's not your child, get that straight with your wife; if she won't cooperate, make sure the court knows that is a contested issue.

Try to stay calm, try to solve things amicably with your wife. Work hard on a good parent plan (your time share with your child) that the court can approve. See if your wife will cooperate in an uncontested divorce - the only issues are probably child custody, support and bill allocation. BUT don't give up your time with your child, or claim parentage of the baby if you aren't sure it's yours.
Good luck...& ask the clerks to ck your paperwork to make sure it's the correct form, it's signed, etc. (no, they can't give advice, but they can ck that the form/format is correct).

jamesnjo · Jun 19, 2005

garrula lingua said:
1. Wa has a very good 'pro per' (representing yourself) procedure in court.
Go on amazon.com and search for books such as: how to do your own divorce in wa. A self-hel book will take you step-by-step thru the divorce process.

2. Get going. Don't be passive.
The babe your wife is carrying may be declared a child of your marriage; if that's not your child, get that straight with your wife; if she won't cooperate, make sure the court knows that is a contested issue.

Try to stay calm, try to solve things amicably with your wife. Work hard on a good parent plan (your time share with your child) that the court can approve. See if your wife will cooperate in an uncontested divorce - the only issues are probably child custody, support and bill allocation. BUT don't give up your time with your child, or claim parentage of the baby if you aren't sure it's yours.
Good luck...& ask the clerks to ck your paperwork to make sure it's the correct form, it's signed, etc. (no, they can't give advice, but they can ck that the form/format is correct).

Thank you very much for your input. I was encouraged by your post to go to the WA courts web site and get copies of forms and instructions on how to do your own marriage dissolution, and I also got some info to study from the Nolo Press web site (though getting a book would be the best). I'll especially take to heart your advice to not be passive. I'm getting busy.

Thank again. It's great to get a nudge in the right direction.

Advice needed for young father

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jamesnjo

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garrula lingua

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jamesnjo

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