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I'm 19 and she is 17.. probation ?'s

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Nightscape13

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA
Ok, so I am 19 and got in trouble for being with a 17 year old, her parents and I had an arguement one day and her dad had me arrested for being with her. I served a few months and now have a 3 year probation. My question is this... my probation clearly states that I may have NO contact with the victim <name here> whatsoever. It doesnt say until she turns 18. I really do love this girl, I want to know if when she turns 18 I can be with her or if I have to wait till my probation is done, which wont be till shes 20. If its the latter that is pretty lame =/

Also one more question... her mom has always liked me and when her dad called the cops I had a felony warrant out for me. Her mom said she talked with her husband and they agreed to drop the warrant but they were told its too late, is that true? Thanks for your time guys, my probation officer is impossible to contact =/
 


zippysgoddess

Senior Member
Well first off, they cannot choose to drop a warrant, they have nothing to do with issuing it, they may have had something to do with the complaint that resulted in it, but from there it is in the hands of the DA, and they cannot make the decision to nullify the warrant or drop those charges.

As to your other question, yes, to meet the conditions of your probation, you will have to stay away from her the entire time you are on probation, her age has no relevance to this matter. It is one of the requirements of your probation, and if you do go near her, you will violate the conditions, and serve the rest of your time in jail.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Additionally, if the stay away order is a Criminal Protective Order (and it almost certainly is) violating it mandates an arrest and you will almost certainly go back to jail on a brand new offense in addition to any probation violation.



- Carl
 

nightscape

Junior Member
wow, so even though she is 18 and she wants to be with me she cant because of my probation? So could I still marry her at 18 and then just do my time for violating probation? I rather do some time for violating probation then wait 2 years without being able to hear or talk to her... pretty lame law if you ask me, it should be her choice when she turns 18.
 
nightscape said:
wow, so even though she is 18 and she wants to be with me she cant because of my probation? So could I still marry her at 18 and then just do my time for violating probation? I rather do some time for violating probation then wait 2 years without being able to hear or talk to her... pretty lame law if you ask me, it should be her choice when she turns 18.
Yeap.
I have a freind doing 3 years in the Ohio penatentary for the same thing your describing..
 

nightscape

Junior Member
screw it, at least if im married its 3 years with visits and letters so I can see and hear from her rather then 2.5 years without either seeing or hearing from her. Its worth it in my opinion.

And the prisons in CA are so over crowded might get let off early.
 

HomeGuru

Senior Member
nightscape said:
screw it, at least if im married its 3 years with visits and letters so I can see and hear from her rather then 2.5 years without either seeing or hearing from her. Its worth it in my opinion.

And the prisons in CA are so over crowded might get let off early.

**A: you speak with such eloquence tantamount to criminal mentality.
 
Last edited:

Kane

Member
nightscape said:
screw it, at least if im married its 3 years with visits and letters so I can see and hear from her rather then 2.5 years without either seeing or hearing from her. Its worth it in my opinion.

And the prisons in CA are so over crowded might get let off early.
Try spending a few days in jail on something minor, like shoplifting or something, before making any permanent decisions.

Or, contact an attorney about getting the terms of your probation changed, after she turns 18.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
If you'd kept it in your pants before, you wouldn't be faced with keeping it in your pants (at least as far as she's concerned) after she turns 18.

As my husband puts it, men have two brains, a northern one and a southern one, but are only able to think with one at a time. It's clear which one you're using now. Turn it off and start using the other one, if you're capable of it and if it works. Do you really want a prison record chasing you around when you go to apply for employment?
 

mrogre

Junior Member
Age

This is interesting subject,

I realize that different states have different conditions on legal age and was wondering is there any federal limit too or just up to the states?
 

nightscape

Junior Member
cbg said:
If you'd kept it in your pants before, you wouldn't be faced with keeping it in your pants (at least as far as she's concerned) after she turns 18.

As my husband puts it, men have two brains, a northern one and a southern one, but are only able to think with one at a time. It's clear which one you're using now. Turn it off and start using the other one, if you're capable of it and if it works. Do you really want a prison record chasing you around when you go to apply for employment?

Wow, its really cool how people just make assumptions. Did I ever say we were having sex? NO. I said I got in trouble for being with her, and for the person that said I should do some time before making decisions if you read I said I did some time for this already. I was charged with contributing to deliquency of a minor and they tried to get me with lewd act I believe, didn't do long but long enough so I got a 3 year probation with a no contact order on it. So for the "if you kept it in your pants" I dont really care what you think, I hate people who just assume the worst of people.

I am old fashioned and I really do love this girl, and she loves me, the only thing I wanted to know is if I could somehow find a way around the no contact order when she turns 18 (remember her parents are ok with me now, so they could maybe help too if there is a way). I just find it hard to believe that even at 19 and 20 she still cant see me if she wants too, shes an adult by law then and should be allowed to make her own decision. And most of the people trying to put me down for my idea of just waiting till shes 18, getting married, and doing my time... you are likely single or unhappily married, never experienced true love, if you did you would know that 3 years is far too long to not be allowed or hold the one you love most... esepecially if she is legally an adult.

I rather not go to jail so this is why I'm coming here for advice, if all you are going to do is try and lecture me you are wasting time, thank you.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
nightscape said:
Wow, its really cool how people just make assumptions. Did I ever say we were having sex? NO.
Sure. Sorry, but nobody is going to believe the two of you are not having sex ... or, at the very least, messing around.


I am old fashioned and I really do love this girl, and she loves me, the only thing I wanted to know is if I could somehow find a way around the no contact order when she turns 18 (remember her parents are ok with me now, so they could maybe help too if there is a way).
As has been said, at 18 SHE can hire an attorney to go to court to get the CPO removed. Until then, violation can result in a mandatory arrest.


- Carl
 

nightscape

Junior Member
Thanks Carl, those are the reponses I wanted. So do you think if she does get an attorny when shes 18 that its good chanes they will drop the condition and let me see her?

And yes I know people assume and the police assumed as well, but we both agreed they could test her and I even said I would do a polygraph but they didnt let me, said it didnt matter. We actually didnt do anything, considering the fact that we were hardly ever alone in person. I am also old fashioned christian (I dont have sex before marriage) and she is the same way.

Once again thank you Carl, you have been helpful and have given me hope :D
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
nightscape said:
Thanks Carl, those are the reponses I wanted. So do you think if she does get an attorny when shes 18 that its good chanes they will drop the condition and let me see her?
I can't begin to guess what a court might say. I have seen these go either way. However, since you were not apparently convicted of unlawful intercourse, I'd say the chances are pretty good that a court will drop the CPO. However, altering your conditions of probation are a different matter. This would require you to go back to court also in an attempt to change that.


And yes I know people assume and the police assumed as well, but we both agreed they could test her and I even said I would do a polygraph but they didnt let me, said it didnt matter.
A polygraph is not admissable in court so it is irrelevant.

And of course everyone is assuming sex is involved. I doubt that you were charged with this offense because the two of you were dating and only went to the movies a couple of times. Usually a conviction for contributing comes about as a result of some far more objectionable behavior ... generally when they suspect sex but cannot prove it.


We actually didnt do anything, considering the fact that we were hardly ever alone in person. I am also old fashioned christian (I dont have sex before marriage) and she is the same way.
An "old fashioned Christian" likely wouldn't have done anything to get himself arrested for a contributing charge, either.

To drop the CPO she will need to go to court when she hits 18 and argue to have it removed ... whether that happens is anyone's guess.

And you will need an attorney to alter your probation conditions.

So you two have a lot of court time and attorney's fees in your future unless you get lucky.

- Carl
 

nightscape

Junior Member
Thanks Carl, I will do it that way and just wait a few months till she turns 18 then have her get an attorny. I'll glady go through courts and pay whatever fees to be with her, that isnt an issue. I'm happy people like Carl here are on these fourms, its good to know there are people you can turn to for help. Once again thanks Carl, you are a good guy.
 

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