Andy Dufresne
Junior Member
What is the name of your state?
Georgia
Wow, where to begin....
The fact that I am even posting on here is a surreal notion (for me).
In any case, here is my situation:
My Wife and I moved to our current house (from out of state) less than a year ago. My wife (who is extremely outgoing) tried very hard to make friends with our neighbors & while she succeeded with a few, most of the neighbors just turned a cold shoulder to our family. What I have been able to find out since then, is that the majority of the residents on our street have lived there for quite a while and apparently are very "cliquish". They do EVERYTHING together and I mean EVERYTHING (i.e. Vacation, have social gatherings on the weekends, play sports, take their children to parks, etc..).
Unfortunately for my wife & I, all (but a few) have completely ostracized us as if we don't even exist. In the course of dealing with all of this, my wife befriended a nice young couple who live at the top of our street. Over the months, we became very close to this couple. My wife & the other wife were almost inseparable, shopping together, hanging out together, etc.. Our kids played with their kids all the time and I hung out with the other husband quite a bit as well.
Everything was hunky dory until about 3-4 weeks ago when (quite suddenly) the calls between my wife & her friend grounded to a halt. Whenever my wife would try to call, her friend would be really short with her ("I have to go", kids, errands, etc) and abruptly end the conversation. It only got worse from there, she stopped coming over (when she used to come over like every day) and her kids stopped coming over to play with our kids.
We come to find out that apparently these people had some things stolen from their yard and possibly their house (though I am not clear on whether or not that is an issue at this point). In a kind of surreptitious manner, the lady began making bizarre thinly veiled accusatory remarks/comments to my wife. Statements such as "Yeah, our Christmas Santa got stolen...you know, the one you really like". On another occasion, they had a retro (ridiculous looking) RV parked out in front of their house. Well later that night my wife was on the phone with her & in jest (while laughing out loud), i told her to tell her that I really like that "sweet" RV they have parked in front of their house. The lady's response to my wife was "Why....did he go and search through it?" My wife was like "Uh...what?". Now don't forget that we were as close as friends could be to this couple. My wife helped her out quite extensively during her pregnancy (she was pregnant when we first moved there), lending moral & physical support & doing other kind things for their family, like taking this lady's mom to the Emergency room (on more than one occasion) when she was in severe pain and watching their kids so that they could have a date night out. In subtle (and not so subtle ways), my wife was as committed a friend as one could ever hope to have.
Now fast forward to last week...Out of left field, my wife gets a phone call from an extremely rude detective from our local Police Department who tells my wife that my wife needs to come and see her immediately for questioning regarding thefts in the neighborhood. My wife (completely caught off guard and with no concept about these kinds of things), asks the detective why does the detective want to see her & the detective tells her that "several" people in our neighborhood have complained about my wife going into people's yards (which is a complete fantasy, as my wife has never done that) and things then being missing. She asks my wife when she can come down and eventually my wife (whom I love dearly but is a bit naive about the way of the world) says: "Well, do you want me to just come down right now?" (Even though she has my two young sons that she is trying to take care of) & the detective tells her, yes, that would be ideal. Well after thinking about it for a bit, she called my father and asked him what he thought (she couldn't get a hold of me). My dad told her not to go down there, rather to call her and tell her that she has two kids to take care of and that it is not easy for her to find babysitting & to tell the detective that if she wants to talk to her, she (the detective) can come to our house and talk to my wife. Ultimately, my wife did not say that, she just called the detective back and when the detective wasn't there, she just left a message saying that she would not be able to come down today & that if she still wants to talk, please call her (my wife) next week.
So this morning, the detective calls my wife and is very verbally abusive with her. Making snide remarks & comments as she is asking my wife questions, things like: "Uh huh...yeah right, I really believe that" and so on. After some more minor questioning, the detective tells my wife that it is "imperative", my wife come in and talk to her immediately. My wife again tells her about issues with securi9ng babysitting with the kids & that she can't just drop everything and come and see her (the detective). My wife left off telling her that she would call her back. Which is where we now sit.
A few things...
My wife is just like any normal average American wife, a mother of two young children, a soccer mom, a lover of art's & crafts & all things "Shabby, Sheik", etc. The notion that she moonlights as a burglar is quantifiably the most ludicrous suggestion I think I have ever heard in my entire life (about anything), I mean it is up there with the beliefs that Scientologist's hold about the origins of their religion (read about the "Xenu Incident" here and you will get my drift). I mean we are talking about a woman who will not stop to pick up so much as a penny or a quarter that may be lying on the street, as she just feels to guilty. Yet now I am to believe that she is waking up after I go to bed at night and creeping around burglarizing peoples yards & homes, etc. Pardon my French, but give me a !?*$&@* break...
Here is where I need some collective guidance/help....
How should we proceed?
My sister is a U.S. Attorney, but she is out of the country and incommunicado, so I have no way of seeking her help/advice which is what I would normally do.
What do you think?
Should my wife go and talk to this detective without any representation? I mean she has done nothing wrong, so "no harm no foul" right?
Then again, one of my good friends told me that she should absolutely not go down to the station and talk to the detective, because the detective is probably just fishing and will try and weave the answers that she gives in a manner that could lead to charges, etc.. He says that she should make the detective come to her.
That is another thing I don't understand. If the detective wants to talk to her so badly, why doesn't she just come to our house and ask my wife whatever questions she wants to ask her, I don't get it.
As a footnote, after the first phone call from the detective, my wife & I (on a unified front) went down to talk to them together. The husband’s reply to me was words to the effect of "I don't know what is going on, I just told her (her being his wife) not to involve you or me in it". My wife told her that she values their friendship so much & that she would never steal from her. She then asked her: "You don't really think I would ever steal from you, do you?" to which the lady replied, "I don't know" (over and over again I might add). This is important because during the call this morning between my wife and the detective, the detective kept asking my wife why she went down to speak with this individual after the detectives initial call.
So how should we move forward in dealing with this delusional neighbor and do we have any sort of legal recourse to hold her accountable (should it come to that)?
Thanks in advance for your advice...
-Andy
Georgia
Wow, where to begin....
The fact that I am even posting on here is a surreal notion (for me).
In any case, here is my situation:
My Wife and I moved to our current house (from out of state) less than a year ago. My wife (who is extremely outgoing) tried very hard to make friends with our neighbors & while she succeeded with a few, most of the neighbors just turned a cold shoulder to our family. What I have been able to find out since then, is that the majority of the residents on our street have lived there for quite a while and apparently are very "cliquish". They do EVERYTHING together and I mean EVERYTHING (i.e. Vacation, have social gatherings on the weekends, play sports, take their children to parks, etc..).
Unfortunately for my wife & I, all (but a few) have completely ostracized us as if we don't even exist. In the course of dealing with all of this, my wife befriended a nice young couple who live at the top of our street. Over the months, we became very close to this couple. My wife & the other wife were almost inseparable, shopping together, hanging out together, etc.. Our kids played with their kids all the time and I hung out with the other husband quite a bit as well.
Everything was hunky dory until about 3-4 weeks ago when (quite suddenly) the calls between my wife & her friend grounded to a halt. Whenever my wife would try to call, her friend would be really short with her ("I have to go", kids, errands, etc) and abruptly end the conversation. It only got worse from there, she stopped coming over (when she used to come over like every day) and her kids stopped coming over to play with our kids.
We come to find out that apparently these people had some things stolen from their yard and possibly their house (though I am not clear on whether or not that is an issue at this point). In a kind of surreptitious manner, the lady began making bizarre thinly veiled accusatory remarks/comments to my wife. Statements such as "Yeah, our Christmas Santa got stolen...you know, the one you really like". On another occasion, they had a retro (ridiculous looking) RV parked out in front of their house. Well later that night my wife was on the phone with her & in jest (while laughing out loud), i told her to tell her that I really like that "sweet" RV they have parked in front of their house. The lady's response to my wife was "Why....did he go and search through it?" My wife was like "Uh...what?". Now don't forget that we were as close as friends could be to this couple. My wife helped her out quite extensively during her pregnancy (she was pregnant when we first moved there), lending moral & physical support & doing other kind things for their family, like taking this lady's mom to the Emergency room (on more than one occasion) when she was in severe pain and watching their kids so that they could have a date night out. In subtle (and not so subtle ways), my wife was as committed a friend as one could ever hope to have.
Now fast forward to last week...Out of left field, my wife gets a phone call from an extremely rude detective from our local Police Department who tells my wife that my wife needs to come and see her immediately for questioning regarding thefts in the neighborhood. My wife (completely caught off guard and with no concept about these kinds of things), asks the detective why does the detective want to see her & the detective tells her that "several" people in our neighborhood have complained about my wife going into people's yards (which is a complete fantasy, as my wife has never done that) and things then being missing. She asks my wife when she can come down and eventually my wife (whom I love dearly but is a bit naive about the way of the world) says: "Well, do you want me to just come down right now?" (Even though she has my two young sons that she is trying to take care of) & the detective tells her, yes, that would be ideal. Well after thinking about it for a bit, she called my father and asked him what he thought (she couldn't get a hold of me). My dad told her not to go down there, rather to call her and tell her that she has two kids to take care of and that it is not easy for her to find babysitting & to tell the detective that if she wants to talk to her, she (the detective) can come to our house and talk to my wife. Ultimately, my wife did not say that, she just called the detective back and when the detective wasn't there, she just left a message saying that she would not be able to come down today & that if she still wants to talk, please call her (my wife) next week.
So this morning, the detective calls my wife and is very verbally abusive with her. Making snide remarks & comments as she is asking my wife questions, things like: "Uh huh...yeah right, I really believe that" and so on. After some more minor questioning, the detective tells my wife that it is "imperative", my wife come in and talk to her immediately. My wife again tells her about issues with securi9ng babysitting with the kids & that she can't just drop everything and come and see her (the detective). My wife left off telling her that she would call her back. Which is where we now sit.
A few things...
My wife is just like any normal average American wife, a mother of two young children, a soccer mom, a lover of art's & crafts & all things "Shabby, Sheik", etc. The notion that she moonlights as a burglar is quantifiably the most ludicrous suggestion I think I have ever heard in my entire life (about anything), I mean it is up there with the beliefs that Scientologist's hold about the origins of their religion (read about the "Xenu Incident" here and you will get my drift). I mean we are talking about a woman who will not stop to pick up so much as a penny or a quarter that may be lying on the street, as she just feels to guilty. Yet now I am to believe that she is waking up after I go to bed at night and creeping around burglarizing peoples yards & homes, etc. Pardon my French, but give me a !?*$&@* break...
Here is where I need some collective guidance/help....
How should we proceed?
My sister is a U.S. Attorney, but she is out of the country and incommunicado, so I have no way of seeking her help/advice which is what I would normally do.
What do you think?
Should my wife go and talk to this detective without any representation? I mean she has done nothing wrong, so "no harm no foul" right?
Then again, one of my good friends told me that she should absolutely not go down to the station and talk to the detective, because the detective is probably just fishing and will try and weave the answers that she gives in a manner that could lead to charges, etc.. He says that she should make the detective come to her.
That is another thing I don't understand. If the detective wants to talk to her so badly, why doesn't she just come to our house and ask my wife whatever questions she wants to ask her, I don't get it.
As a footnote, after the first phone call from the detective, my wife & I (on a unified front) went down to talk to them together. The husband’s reply to me was words to the effect of "I don't know what is going on, I just told her (her being his wife) not to involve you or me in it". My wife told her that she values their friendship so much & that she would never steal from her. She then asked her: "You don't really think I would ever steal from you, do you?" to which the lady replied, "I don't know" (over and over again I might add). This is important because during the call this morning between my wife and the detective, the detective kept asking my wife why she went down to speak with this individual after the detectives initial call.
So how should we move forward in dealing with this delusional neighbor and do we have any sort of legal recourse to hold her accountable (should it come to that)?
Thanks in advance for your advice...
-Andy
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