F
florizal
Guest
First let me apologize about the length--this is a complicated matter, with many more twists involved than I can write now, so let me give the short version of the story that leads up to my questions--
I am a 25 year old woman in Indiana. As a child I was molested by the man who my mother insisted was my real father, however is not. I revealed the abuse to her while I was in high school out of desparation. I was being emotionally abused by both her and my "father", usually upon her insistance (she had a lot of influence over him--I know that they were emotionally abusive towards each other, and I was blamed for a lot since I was born when she was 15 years old, and viewed as a burden)
When I revealed the abuse, I simply wanted all of the abuse to stop, so that I could go on as a sane, normal teenager--I have never wanted to press charges--
At any rate, nothing was said about this for 1 1/2 years, and my mother remained married to my "father", then when I went away to college, I wrote a letter to my mother forgivig her, and offering support if she wanted to move out and get a divorce...the letter would have referred to the molestation.
3 years after that, she decided to move out, and after many months of toying with the idea of divorce, she and my "father" signed a settlement entitleing her to 1/3 of my fathers family farms worth (he owned 1/3 of the stocks at the time). This amount was estimated by them, not by accountants or lawyers, to be $70,000. In truth, it was found to be only $12,000 as stocks are only worth what someone deems them to be worth, and it is only a corporated farm in name, and is not a profitable business at all.
He declared chapter 13 bankruptcy, and sold his stocks, and offered her the $12,000, however she has refused to take anything less that the $70000 with interest. She sued him, and the judge ordered that he was still obligated to pay her the original amount due to the chapter 13 section that says something like, a person still has to pay his spouse unless the person is getting less benefit by not paying, or something legal like that--I have the judgement available.
Well, then, he filed chapter 7 bankruptcy and was granted that he could pay $400 a month for 36 months and then be done with this matter of paying her.
Now, my mother is money hungry and out for revenge. She has been using me and my letter that I sent her in confidence and love as a pawn to get the money that she says she deserves. I do not forgive him, and he knows that, but he has truly changed so much in his life, and grieves his mistake on a daily basis. I am not in denial, and have, in fact, told those close in my life when I felt that their knowing would help me get closer, and have more genuine relationships with them.
She has now threatened to send my letter to every member of my family, and the neighborhood I grew up in. This is against my wishes, but she does not care. In fact, she only can laugh and smirk at the thought of her revenge. Her hate has ruined our relationship, and the relationships of my sister and brother to her.
My questions are:
1. what are my rights as far as putting a stop to this constant threatening of my privacy?
2. I was told by a friend who is a corporate lawyer, that If she or I were to mention the abuse to a lawyer, that lawyer would be obligated to report the case to the state attorney, and being a high profile case and a good political cause, it could become a case whether I want to testify or not--is this true?
3. my husband found some information that seems to say that the statute of limitations does not apply once the victim of childhood sexual abuse is 25--what do you know about this?
I just feel so manipulated, as always. I have tried not to play on the role of "victim", as I have become a strong person largely due to my ability to feed off of adversities and use them to my benefit, but I am wearing down, especially in the light of the fact that my own mother is the one using me so maliciously and without compassion.
Please respond to any part of this, as I would appreciate any advice or help in what I can do to ensure that I do not become a pawn in the legal system in addition to my family system!
I am a 25 year old woman in Indiana. As a child I was molested by the man who my mother insisted was my real father, however is not. I revealed the abuse to her while I was in high school out of desparation. I was being emotionally abused by both her and my "father", usually upon her insistance (she had a lot of influence over him--I know that they were emotionally abusive towards each other, and I was blamed for a lot since I was born when she was 15 years old, and viewed as a burden)
When I revealed the abuse, I simply wanted all of the abuse to stop, so that I could go on as a sane, normal teenager--I have never wanted to press charges--
At any rate, nothing was said about this for 1 1/2 years, and my mother remained married to my "father", then when I went away to college, I wrote a letter to my mother forgivig her, and offering support if she wanted to move out and get a divorce...the letter would have referred to the molestation.
3 years after that, she decided to move out, and after many months of toying with the idea of divorce, she and my "father" signed a settlement entitleing her to 1/3 of my fathers family farms worth (he owned 1/3 of the stocks at the time). This amount was estimated by them, not by accountants or lawyers, to be $70,000. In truth, it was found to be only $12,000 as stocks are only worth what someone deems them to be worth, and it is only a corporated farm in name, and is not a profitable business at all.
He declared chapter 13 bankruptcy, and sold his stocks, and offered her the $12,000, however she has refused to take anything less that the $70000 with interest. She sued him, and the judge ordered that he was still obligated to pay her the original amount due to the chapter 13 section that says something like, a person still has to pay his spouse unless the person is getting less benefit by not paying, or something legal like that--I have the judgement available.
Well, then, he filed chapter 7 bankruptcy and was granted that he could pay $400 a month for 36 months and then be done with this matter of paying her.
Now, my mother is money hungry and out for revenge. She has been using me and my letter that I sent her in confidence and love as a pawn to get the money that she says she deserves. I do not forgive him, and he knows that, but he has truly changed so much in his life, and grieves his mistake on a daily basis. I am not in denial, and have, in fact, told those close in my life when I felt that their knowing would help me get closer, and have more genuine relationships with them.
She has now threatened to send my letter to every member of my family, and the neighborhood I grew up in. This is against my wishes, but she does not care. In fact, she only can laugh and smirk at the thought of her revenge. Her hate has ruined our relationship, and the relationships of my sister and brother to her.
My questions are:
1. what are my rights as far as putting a stop to this constant threatening of my privacy?
2. I was told by a friend who is a corporate lawyer, that If she or I were to mention the abuse to a lawyer, that lawyer would be obligated to report the case to the state attorney, and being a high profile case and a good political cause, it could become a case whether I want to testify or not--is this true?
3. my husband found some information that seems to say that the statute of limitations does not apply once the victim of childhood sexual abuse is 25--what do you know about this?
I just feel so manipulated, as always. I have tried not to play on the role of "victim", as I have become a strong person largely due to my ability to feed off of adversities and use them to my benefit, but I am wearing down, especially in the light of the fact that my own mother is the one using me so maliciously and without compassion.
Please respond to any part of this, as I would appreciate any advice or help in what I can do to ensure that I do not become a pawn in the legal system in addition to my family system!